My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

And Now, A Crappy Song From Aladdin

 I can show you poo swirls


  Shiny, glistening, fetid!


Wreckerator, just when did you cast 

all good taste aside?


I can open your eyes



Take you blunder...



... by bluuuunder



Cakey dreams torn asunder

as the giant cupcake sighs.


Day glow poo swiiiiiirls

A new, wrecktastic form of goo!


I think that WE should go. Let's TAKE it slow!

I hear the bride is screaming...


No more poo swiiiiirls!

They're just not something you should chew


So, let's be candid here:

It's crystal clear!

that gangrenous poo swirls 

will never do.



Thanks to Cameron F., Holt, Carrie G., Eric C., Erin E., Talia B., Marlissa D., Anony M., Meagan B., and Anne for opening up whole new worlds of wreckage.

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Reader Comments (58)

I sang the entire thing aloud. You should have seen my sister's face.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSomebody Awesome

O M G!!! It's so hard to laugh and gag at the same time. Another hit for Sharyn!!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbaSue

Sharyn, your talent is truly stunning. I actually heard the music as I read this post.


Also, I've probably watched Aladdin more times than is good for a mother's sanity.
All part and parcel of the whole Mommy gig. Phenomenal maternal power, itty bitty fingerprints all over your living space.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Truth in advertising in the Mr. Poo Cakes...LOL a novelty that I'm sure someone will purchase...someone with zero taste... :/

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Brava! Brava! Bring up the house lights--take a bow!!
That was disgusting!! (Oh--AND hilarious!)
Here: I'm tossing a huge bunch of "virtual roses" at you (no thorns!)
=^~.~^= (Just don't expect them every day; they're pretty expensive to type.)

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I was already queasy this morning. This didn't really help O.O
Great job Sharyn!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Awesome song talents notwithstanding, I feel a bit sick.

What's interesting is that my sister recently made rainbow swirl cupcakes, and was saying she'd never seen the attempt made before. Clearly that's because someone made a real effort to make sure these ones never saw the light of day.

The ones my sis made were so pretty...

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Wow. Best crappy post ever! XD

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K

"O M G!!! It's so hard to laugh and gag at the same time. Another hit for Sharyn!!" ~~ DebbaSue

"Sharyn, your talent is truly stunning. I actually heard the music as I read this post." ~~ Kat

I second both of the above.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwoodnwheel

WHAT the heck is that last one?!! It really does look gangrenous!! Is it some form of sticky bun? Yikes!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Best. Post. Ever.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

Oh my goodness...the strangest part is that I actually had "A Whole New World" in my head this morning. Now, the images have changed, however. Aladdin wearing a poo hat.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCDN

The green..... swirls of slimy, shiny..... whateverthatwas made me gag. Ug

However, I now have "Bear Necessities" no longer running through my head. Thanks, Sharyn!!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Good lord those almost put me off chocolate icing...almost

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Let me 'splain--no, there is too much. Let me sum up. Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Important safety tip:

Poo-brown icing = Bad.

Poo-brown icing topped with greenish glaze = Apocalyptic Bad.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I disagree that ANYTHING that swirls can be classified as "x-colored poo." Those rainbow-esque cupcakes remind me of crayons I had as a kid, that colored four different colors depending on how you held it.

The "Mr. Poo" cakes, meanwhile, have NO swirl at all. They look instead to be sad little reindeer.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Amazing. When they WANT to make it look like poo, it doesn't!
I would never guess what those Mr. Poo Cakes were supposed to be. I'm still not sure what all is going on there, even with the handy drawing.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Pick Your Poem: Two Views of Poo on A Fecal Friday

Poo swirls, poo swirls,
Swirling all around,
Green, florescent day-glow, and of course, brown.
Piles of poo upon a cake
Does not a tranquil picture make.
Bakers have a slight blind spot-y
When it comes to matters of the potty.
What goes in should not come out
On a cake to be smeared about.
Such can make one’s stomach churn,
And cause esophageal burn.
What goes through the bakers mind --
Taking inspiration from their behind?
Perhaps it is an “inside” joke,
Though, now outside, it makes one choke.
(Nothing more quite says love,
After the wedding bells have rung,
Than two golden love birds
Cooing on a pile of dung….
“Let me show my love,
That’s what I’ll do,
With a wedding cake
Covered with poo.”)
Oh, bakers, bakers, thanks a lot,
But please move on beyond the pot,
Like diarrhea, this joke’s getting thin,
It’s time to reign brown icing in.
There must be something else that you can do,
(thinking…my brow furrowed with wrinkles…)
Wait a minute, here’s a thought,
Have you ever tried using sprinkles…?

* * * * *

I must confess it makes me laugh,
And causes me to snicker,
Every time I see this gaffe,
(Is my humor getting sicker?)
Bakers never seem to learn
Brown icing looks like poo,
And I am thankful for that mental block,
As I’m sure are some of you.
It brings out in me my inner kid,
When it was slightly naughty
To laugh and joke and make remarks
Of matters of the potty.
Some things are classic, universal,
And will forever be.
We “kids” will always laugh at this,
I hope there’s no reversal.
So, brown frosting, may your color shine,
I raise my cake to you,
And to Cake Wrecks, my fondest hope,
May you never deplete your poo.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Sharyn: Superb, as always!

@Kat: Very nicely done. I spoke the last line in character.

@CDN: "...Aladdin wearing a poo hat." Wow. Thanks for that image. : - /

Is it just me, or do the Mr. Poo cakes lack true poo-iness? I mean, they are indeed ugly and an unfortunate shade of, erm, mocha, but to be trying to make a poo pile and come up with that? *I* am not impressed. We have seen *so* much more realistic looking poo piles here when the wreckerator wasn't even trying to make a poo pile. So to actually GO (hehe, see what I did there?) for 'poo pile' and come up short? That is wrecktastic. Ironically wrecky. Practically perfect in every way.

Ack! I've become a poo connoisseur!

That last one is what I imagine a brain fungus would look like.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@mel: I less than three your salute to number two!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@Joan: You were right. Your sister's cupcakes WERE so pretty! I would gladly eat those in a heartbeat.

I am always up for a party. However, I think if I got an invitation to a Super Bowel party, I'd have to pass. Or punt. Or be a party pooper.

The sign on the Mr. Poo cupcakes was much better than the cupcakes themselves.

Sharyn, as always, another hit!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Oh, Cake Wrecks. You fill my heart with snarkey cakeey glee. :D

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChriss Cornish

HI! I'm VAL! I live in the Valley! I'M FUN--are YOU?? Look, I crack myself UP, 'kay?! Like, syrslysyrsly...These CAKES? Like, WTF, man. At first glance, I thought those were (ha ha) like, sweaty WORMS on the top of that first cake...Ha Ha, RIGHT? But then I (Der-da-Der, RIGHT?) get that the moisture/water/whatEVer was (ha ha) on the INSIDE of the lid, 'kay? Syrsly ha ha RIGHT? F.Y.I , for you *UN*-scientific types, THAT means that something INSIDE was maybe, like, BREATHING or some crap and......oh s***.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The "Mr. Poo" character is a Japanese thing (search Google Images for "unko chan" and "unko san"). If you have the Whatsapp icon collection or the iOS icon keyboard turned on, you'll find it there. It's in the Unicode character set ("PILE OF POO").

The real problem is that "Mr. Poo" here is nothing like Unko Chan. A total wreck.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

I've heard of a technicolor yawn, but the day-glow poo swirls?!

And Mr. Poo...the ONE time that a spiraled brown mound of frosting is exactly what is required, but the wrecker screws it up!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermajime.koala

Not sure why, but the rainbow swirl cupcakes put me in mind of Tupperware from the 70's. and they were definitely the best of this bunch.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMyra

New rule: Don't read this blog while eating breakfast. I don't think I'm hungry anymore...

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

Is it sad that I know that song so well that I didn't have any problem with changing the words to go along with this? Thanks for this, I needed the giggle! :)

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAladdin Lover

Wow. I never thought I'd have my appetite taken away by looking at cake...but it's now gone! Grossest cakes ever!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

The inspiration for the poo swirl cupcakes:

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

Day-glow swirls of poo
Eyes wide open out of fear
Giant cupcake frowns

(I know, it's not as good as Haiku Joy's, but it's all I could come up with...)

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

I think this is far and away the most revolting post I've ever seen here. The steaming pile (complete with condensation on the plastic) in the first photo was bad, but that last one actually made me gag. Ugh.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWill

The third cake down looks like Oscar the Grouch has come down with a nasty case of furuncles which all have ruptured at once. IOW, pus, not poop. Just as stomach-turning, perhaps more.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStar

@Mel --- virtual standing ovation to you!!
*Clapping furiously*

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

8th photo down: I think I might know what that bird's nest is made of, because I've made something that looks "similar" (but NO, NOT like POO, fortunately!) and it is YUMMY!! I don't know how they did theirs, but what I do is melt a large bag of both chocolate and butterscotch chips together, toss in a bag of crispy chow chow mein noodles, spoon into a greased muffin tin and make an indent with the back of a spoon.When cool, pop them out, put them in clean cupcake papers, and nestle little foil-wrapped chocolate eggs, or Peeps, or jelly beans in them. I've gotten really lazy, and the last batch I made was simply spooned onto foil in little lumps without ANY candy, and renamed "beaver dams." You can use pretzel sticks instead of the chow mein noodles, too (yummy salty/sweet effect). Everyone I know (except chocolate-allergic son) LOVES this stuff. (Just make sure it's served at "room temperature". Right out of the fridge, it's too hard, and in the heat they get really messy.) Give it a chance-it's yummy! I SWEAR, you won't think it's what you'll want to say it looks like! Now, I must excuse myself to go have a giggling fit.

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Now that song will be stuck in my head all night!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy


August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

WOW! My kids started singing along with this post even before I knew what was happening! They were right on with the melody and everything! You ROCKED it today!!

A Whole New Pooooooo!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@Just Andrea: It is so 1-derful that you less than 3 the salute to number 2. If it made you smile, well, that's what we come here 4.
@Maureen: Thank you; I appreciate it. (virtual bow and wave of thanks)

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Sharyn--fantastic, and so, so, funny! Also to Mel, Kat, and SaraCVT; applause! Well done.

On a related note, I think why Jen needed a little space...

Sharyn has shown us a world,
Glistening, steaming & fecal,
Tell me, wreckies, now when did you last let your maturity slide?

per mel:
"Nothing more quite says love,
After the wedding bells have rung,
Than two golden love birds
Cooing on a pile of dung…".

per Barbara Anne:
"Stay single, stay happy."

P.S. Just Andrea's salute to mel was PRICELESS

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Blearghhhh!! Those are so nasty! The creators would not want to eat those cakes if someone else made them for them so why do the creators think other people would want to eat their disgusting creations?!

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShantel

Ahhhh...I'm looking at the SUPER BOWEL cookie "to the tune of" Rick James' "Superfreak"...(like, what else could possibly work...?) I'm just flipping back and forth between YouTube and Cake Wrecks...I do that sometimes. Mmmmm...Pink Floyd just came on--I hear them better in the dark, but I'd have to get up, and I'm too comfortable at the moment. Theardare is welcome to join me, of course. He has, on occasion...I keep a stash of his favorite snacks.
@Will: ("this is far and away the most revolting post I've ever seen here.") Well, all I can say to THAT is THIS: You couldn't possibly have been all THAT "far" OR "away", because there have been things MUCH worse on here! Am I right, all of you "Wreckerans" out there? (You know who you are...Wreck "junkies"...those who are "veterans" of Cakewrecks? (Yeah--US! There you go!)
(See??) =^~.-^=
Oh- @ Pauline: I feel like this: all that ANY of us can be IS "as good as" we want to be! (If that makes any sense, and I think it does., but it's a little pretzel-y...) (Anybody wanna take a whack at explaining what I just said? To me? Because I just confused myself, even though I knew EXACTLY what I meant, before I wrote it.) Holy sheep dip, somebody put me out of your misery...! =^O.0^=

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I had to laugh at this post because: a) poop jokes always makes me giggle, and b) my younger son started potty training this week! Perfect topic for today! :D

August 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I don't know WHAT the deal is, but there it is again: the old "Cake Resembling A Poobox (litter box)" routine (C.R.A.P.(l.b.) for short)....(Okay, CRAP(lb) for even SHORTER, but that's my final offer. I do have my reputational integrity to consider--(r.i. for short) Come what may, there will ALWAYS be one out there, somewhere. And as long as they ARE out there, somewhere, you KNOW that sooner or later, it WILL end up in HERE....RIGHT here. (Go ahead~ admit it: ISN'T that reassuring?)
=^-.-^= SOME of us think so...

August 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last one kinda scares me. Call me crazy but I would still eat the cupcakes. I'd close my eyes but I'd eat them.

August 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Lol now that song is stuck in my head for the rest of the night. Ah well could be worse I suppose. As long as the day glow cupcakes don't haunt my dreams tonight I think I just might be ok lol.

August 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I demand that a "like" button be installed for posts AND comments!

August 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentershannon

@Barbara Anne: What??? And miss the sound of love birds cooing on a pile of dung...???? :-)

August 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

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