My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


C'mon. You know you want to.




And the piéce de résistance:


Thanks to Gretchen O., Judyth Z., Sue C., & Abigail E., who refuse to subscribe to any labels.

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Reader Comments (63)

I'm speechless. I have no speech...

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sung to "Accentuate the Positive"

You've got to ass-cen-tu-ate the positive
Eliminate the period
Latch on to all the Nutbusters
Do it, sweetheart, don't make a scene

You've got to use thongs up to the maximum
Keep germs down to a minimum
Go on, you want a smiley ass
The other one will turn you green

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

TWELVE?? Come ON! I'm way older than that, I think these are hilarious!! I REALLY want to see the flashing smiley ass! Trot it right OUT here and flash us, already! (You can keep the toilet slime version, though. And skip the ass cream, as well; if it's not nice and soft already, I don't want it.) And, okay; I guess I COULD use thongs, but I'm bringing my own--no way am I using the store-supplied ones! One last thing: Who in bloody Hell is going to pay $27 to get his nuts busted??? I don't know even ONE who'd do it even if you paid HIM.
SO glad that I'm nut a guy....=^-.-^=

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

My 11-year-old son and I found this hilarious!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Oh, Sharyn-as if I weren't laughing hard enough even BEFORE I heard your post...! That was just the "I sing" on the cake! (Technically it was the YOU sing, but that doesn't sound like frosting.) =^~.-^=

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It really is quite sordid
When you fail to write “assorted.”
(Some folks think it’s rather crass
When you publicize your “ass.”)
And yes, we all may scream,
But it isn’t for ass cream.
You make men’s knees to form
A strong, protective cluster
When you advertise so proudly
Your 8 inch size “Nutbuster.”
And using thongs to grab our buns?
It’s usually reversed….
I’ve got to say, your advertising
Is not carefully rehearsed.
And as for, well, your “smiley ass,”
I’m so glad that it’s happy,
But your self-promotion seems to me
Well, just a little crappy.
Re: “toilet slime neon ass,”
I don’t know what to say,
Except it sounds perhaps a tad,
Like something déclassé.
‘Tis obvious this bakery’s
The butt of many a joke,
But the laughter that you give us all
Is as hearty as an oak.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

The twelve year old in my house doesn't use that humor....
That's my father's job.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarhath

I am totally going to holler out, "Toilet slime neon ass!!" next time I really need to swear.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercheryl_hiccups

A great song from Sharyn & a witty poem from Mel all before 10 am. Add that to the Facebook video posting I saw this am petitioning HBO to show more Dongs & I guess my day can only go downhill from here!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna


There are just no words for the levels of wrongness here.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

(Clapping enthusiastically) @Sharyn, @Mel WELL DONE
As for the ass cakes, well I couldn't help hearing in my head that famous line, "Hold onto your butts!"

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Please use the thong's WHAT?!?! What that belongs to the thong am I supposed to be using? Tell me, dammit! TELL. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

The laughter that you gave to me
"Is as hearty as an oak"...
But more than that, I have to say:
You just about made me choke!
(I keep laughing like this and I won't get anything done! And I won't care!!)

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Sure! It's toilet slime
and flashing smileys until
the nutbuster cake!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I love this place.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That apostrophe bothers me way more than the spelling! Misplaced apostrophes are my pet peeve. Just ask my kids. I point them out all over town and in stores! Which reminds me to email Arby's about their big banner sign. "Classics" doesn't need an apostrophe they way they are using it! A mom and pop store, I can see errors, but not a national chain.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

**blink blink**
When I worked at Walmart (don't judge!) we had meetings about this sort of thing. Not saying some didn't slip through but they were usually caught within a few minutes by one of the 12-year-old minded co-workers.

That being said, I really don't want to know what Toilet Slime Neon Ass is because just typing that made me gag. Apparently I need more coffee.

@Sharyn ~ Glad to see your computer isn't waterlogged :-)
@mel ~ If I ever get married I think I want you to write my vows. What could go wrong?

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

OMG the cube occupants in a 12 ft radious are wondering why I just choked on my tea, and my Grandfather is laughing from the afterlife, ah, wipe away laughter tears!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentervictoriansweets_cakencandy

@Jodee: If you have mel write your vows, the only thing that could possibly go "wrong" would be that everyone would be laughing so hard that you might not even know when it was over! It would be a neverending wedding. =^-.-^=

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Okay, the first two, I get the joke but I understand what they were meant to be. An unfortunate choice of sign lettering, but I get it. The last two, I have no idea whatsoever. I GOT NOTHING. WTF is Toilet Slime Neon? Or would I rather not know? What does the thong have that I am supposed to use and in what way? Why does the Ass have a Smiley and why does it Flash? And why, oh why, are all these things in a BAKERY? I suspect these things will haunt me...does anybody else have any insights?

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

A picture of 'Ass.Cupcakes' - many with poop-swirl frosting - would have been hilarious!

Is it wrong that upon seeing the first image I responded with "I'm not putting that in my mouth!" If it is, I don't want to be right. :)

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

I'm pretty sure I don't want to see a "Toilet Slime Neon Ass".

Nope, nosirree... I don't.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I proudly almost hurt myself laughing at "nutbuster".

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

I told myself I wouldn't laugh. It didn't work.

What mystifies me though is why I started hearing Mel's poem in my head as being spoken by Oogie Boogie from "Nightmare Before Christmas"? What is up with that????? Of course it only made the poem seem that much funnier.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I needed the laugh. Now I really want toilet slime neon ass. Maybe I can order some online.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Genius, Mel and Sharyn, pure genius.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

"Please use the thongs"... on buns, no less!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermigrainegirl11

I think these bakeries have ass. managers working for them.

Do you think I would get hired if I wrote on my resume, "...ass. office work...", or "...capable of multiple roles. You could say I wear ass. hats..."

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

As a former grocery sign person, this is sometimes something that auto-prints off of the UPC. When they changed all the signage to corporate level, instead of store level, this came up a lot. That being said, I had my fun when possible. Like a shelf sign for "Spotted Dick in the can" which was taken down within hours but I never heard about. Perhaps a customer had a weird sense of humor, too? I shared the sign with a friend who asked if it meant "with spots" or "located visually".

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStarB

Now you know what happens when bakers assume...

And speaking of toilet slime neon ass...

(You're welcome, Jen. :-)

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Sharyn Mel and Haiku joy BWAHAHAHAHAHA :D as for the cakes O_o

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Reminds me of the time in high school we were filling out forms and one of my classmates put down that her dad was the "Ass Manager" at a local store.

Obviously he was in charge of these signs! Or maybe he delegated the task to a "Sales Ass."

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEddie

I'd prefer not to think about the sorting procedure.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Scott Evil will order the first one.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Those are even better than the signs my local Walmart store used to have on the doors of the milk refrigerators:

So reassuring to know the milk was low in rats...

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

I know this is being SUPER-picky, but along with the NUTBUSTER's other woes, the doily they have it sitting on is upside-down. Not a huge deal, but if I were being paid to do a display, I'm the old-school, devil's-in-the-details type. =^-.-^=

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

As an associate professor, I'm very careful how my job title, er... ends up abbreviated. And don't get me started on posterior puns.

Assoc. Prof Susan

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

OMG!!!! Absolutely hilarious

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRosemary D

A bakery displayer in Mass.
Called the cakes therein an Ass
Nutbusters and Thongs
Mean so many wrongs
And leaves Toilet Slime Neon a Gas(t).

Actually I have no idea where these cakes were displayed, but a little poetic license never hurts.
Sharyn, Mel, Haiku Joy, your mind warps in many of the same directions as mine.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

It's an 8" nutbuster! Eight inches! That's an expensive cake, too. Guess it would have to be, to bust nuts and all.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindaJay

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that, in addition to all the horrible wrong depicted in the first pic, those cakes don't appear to be cream cakes? They look more like Ass Jam Cakes to me. Or Ass Sponge Cakes.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Those pictures really didn't need commentary, they speak for themselves, lol!

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue M

"Use the thong's thank you?" I'd rather take care of my own thank you. The thong can do what it wants with its.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

Flashes of Idiocracy keep popping into my head.... Too bad none of these were at a Starbucks.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Those are even better than the signs my local Walmart store used to have on the doors of the milk refrigerators:

So reassuring to know the milk was low in rats...
@PeepBunny: Are you SERIOUS? I am cracking UP over here! What? It's milk from "low rats"? And WTH is a "low rat"??
Okay-NOW I'm hearing Jimmy Cagney: (Even though he never really said "You dirty rat!")

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I Googled "toile slime neon." Aside from many references to the sign itself, I found two websites selling the stuff. Alas, one was in Dutch, and the other in either Dutch or German, so I still have no idea what toilet slime neon is. I'm pretty sure the Dutch site said it wasn't edible, though. Flashing smiley remains to be identified.

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWaneta

I laughed more at the cooments than the cakes!! You all were right on the money today!!! Good thing it's the end of the day and no one is at my counter...........

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

AHHHH hilarious! you had me at the first one... omg. also, the ass cream cakes look AWFUL! no wonder they're on sale...

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay // coco cake land

Searched on "La Rocca Nutbuster" and was horrified/amazed that, not only is that a common name for a cake, they are produced by La Rocca, AND sold for retail sales. PULEEZ tell me this example isn't one of them!

Ass Cream - wish I didn't have such a wild and "punny" imagination

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRadiofiesta

I think they meant these kinds of thongs

September 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBHC

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