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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Final Countdown

Look, bakers, I'll be the firth to admit I'm not so great with numbers...


...but something here just doesn't add up:


Major props for helping "Keydunce" celebrate such a special milestone, though.

The kind of milestone, in fact, that most of us will spend the next few seconds trying to pronounce.
(I'm going with "three-und." Or maybe "Thirnd.")


Hey, is it just me, or have you noticed families having LOTS of kids these days?

Not to mention getting super lazy naming them all.

(Johnny Five's sister? We can only hope.)


Ok, now you're just making stuff up.


Maybe if you skip the number superscript all together...



Well, bakers, I guess you're just going to have to spell them out. That way there's no chance of any of these piddly little technical errors, you know?

I don't... how could... WHY... Oh, never mind.

Happy Liberation Day, Kanaan.


Thanks to Kajal, Kailey S., Anony M., Moira B., Beth M., Tyffani C., Alison U., & Crystal T. for putting two and two together... and getting all sixes and sevens. (That one's for you British mates. Smoochies!)


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Reader Comments (50)

Well, at least little Molly was turning 5 and not 2. Although maybe a cake celebrating becoming potty trained isn't a bad idea.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMy goodness

Green caterpillars
cling desperately to Kanaan,
but Kanaan is free.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Onethly, it's very depressing that such a simple thing as numbering on a cake can go so wrong;
Twostly, isn't Kanaan already free, or am I not up to scratch with my bible learning?
Threeundly, and most worrying of all, is there really some poor child out there who's been saddled with the name Maverick?

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Jodee, if you have eldest daughter kidney updates you're willing to share, I know a lot of people here are rooting for you and for good news.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

The problem is that you're filled with dread, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it ordinally
And I can help you with this stuff, if you agree
There are just 50st ways to write most numbers.

You just write the 1th Maverick
Make Lilly the 6st, man
Keydunce is the 3nd boy
She's the 10th Kennedy
6 Amanda we trust, but
Sigma squiggle's just too much
There were 4 more Mollys
Now Kanaan is Free!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I can hear a cute little 3 year old Kanaan saying "I'm free years old!" TH's are tough at that age. Maybe the baker was writing a direct quote from the kid. OK, maybe not....

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Firth of all, I'm hoping "Maverick" is also an error.

The thirst cake doesn't say "Keydunce." I think it's "Kaydunce" which is a beautiful, name.

Now for the sixd cake. I believe it's supposed to say, "Happy 23n Birthnay Brian." Birthnay is a yearly event celebrated by those of us who have stopped celebrating birthdays. Traditionally, people don't begin celebrating their birthnays until they reach their 39st year, but apparently, Brian thinks he's special.

I'm a bit rusty when it comes to bible tales, but doesn't the sevenrd cake refer to the time when the
Angel Madysin raised her bejeweled sword and freed the suffering people of Kanaan?
I rather believe that than think someone actually named their child "Kanaan."

Now, I have to go plan my birthnay party...

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Who decided that giant ice cream cone blobs of frosting would be attractive on a cake? Especially dark green ice cream frosting. Gross.

At least the balloons on Kaydance's cake don't look like sperm. However, we do have a new type of decoration: sperm commas, swimming all around the cake. Maybe they're the ones who left the trails of gray slime running up to the balloons.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Why am I more than a little disappointed that they spelled it ":Brian" and not "Brain"? THAT would have totally made my day.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

The last one I can see as an inside joke. There are a many toddlers and preschoolers who mispronounce the "th" sound as "f."

The rest of them... *scratches head* Nope. I got nuthin'

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

I'm wondering if Maverick's cake is an actual ice cream cake with ice cream cones on top, or if they just used up the frosting supply for the entire bakery to make those cones. What flavor is that green/blue one supposed to be?

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K

Awww...I wish I had known about the affiliate link last month when I was buying Christmas presents on Amazon. Dang it.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Everyone knows "TGIF". Now there's this: TGIJ -guess what the "J" is for.(Broad hint: It's a "who"...but no pun intended)
These wrecks are definitely unpalatable, but at least we get to laugh as we gag.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It's bothersome that 10th Kennedy's cake doesn't have the "I" dotted or the "t" crossed.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Kanaan was a House Elf, friend of the late Dobby, who was famously freed by Harry Potter the Chosen One.

Kanaan finally acquired clothes from his master after 3 years of servitude. Winky and several other of Dobby's friends threw him a party to celebrate the occasion. Mr. Weasley, as you know, is fascinated with the Muggle world, and ordered the cake from a Muggle bakery for novelty factor.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I <3 Sharyn. For the 2st day in a row you have given me an earworm. Congulatuons! You are amazing. With sprinkles.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

@Haiku Joy ~ Got your message this morning. Thank you!

@Haiku Joy, @SuBee, @Sharyn, @mel, @Karate Lady and all the rest, thanks for the prayers and good thoughts. Very much appreciated! After spending 7 hours at our local ER being exposed to all sorts of nastiness... We really have no new answers. This time it wasn't a raging infection so I guess that's a good thing! We also got a referral to a kidney specialist here in town that can hopefully give us some more clear answers. As of right now I'm at work going on 3 hours of sleep and she is home sleeping.

@SuBee, please tell your friend I appreciate the giggle and may the healing force be with him. :-)

My sleep deprived and not enough coffee brain is still struggling with the whole 3nd thing.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I seconst Shannon's post. Carrot Jockey Salute to Sharyn!!!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Sharyn and Haiku joy thanks for the guffaws :D. As for the cakes O_o sums it up

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Amanda's cake has lovely writing.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

I'd love to hear these bakers sing "The 12 Days of Christmas".....

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

In my neighborhood, there is a significant population that pronounces '3' as 'free'. We prefer to think of our neighborhood as up and coming....
Of course, it's not too far away that it is also pronounced 'tree'. So I'm going with 'it's cultural' as my reasoning for that cake.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

At least 10th Kennedy is celebrating an entirely new holiday: Burlhday! In honor of Burl Ives, perhaps?

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermonica

The balloon cake manages to look like poop without being brown. That's a new level of achievement. It kind of looks like what came out of my dog after she ate soap once.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAReader

The better questions I think are these: How badly will Keydunce be teased for that name? I mean, it has the word "dunce" in it. I'm hoping and praying that this is some kind of horrible misspelling by the decorator, and not that poor child's actual legal name. And why does a three-month-old need a cake? It's not like he/she can eat it. Let's be honest here; that cake is probably just an excuse for his/her parents to eat cake.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Hmmm...God named the land of milk and honey 'Canaan', but apparently that wasn't cute enough for these parents, so they went with 'Kanaan'. I might be worrried...if I were the kind of mom who named my kid Kanaan.

And: does Keydunce/Kaydance/Whatever-It-Is get a cake every month?

(The geeklings and Grandma thank y'all for the birthday wishes yesterday!)

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

"saddled with the name Maverik" I see what you did there Caroline B! Heh heh.

Sharpe eyes there CC - or maybe it was supposed to say "Happy Bulhday 10th Kennedy", which make so much more sense. o.O

I gotta say though, when I saw the "Happy Number 5 Molly" cake, my mental progression went "Number 1, ok, know what that is...Number 2, again, yeah, got that. NUMBER 5??? No idea and DON'T want to know!!!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Anyone else wondering where the monkey's other leg is? I also wondered about the ice cream cones.. :) Thanks for a fun post!!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDiana C

"Kids, we're gonna have to eat this cake by ourselves. Your Uncle Kanaan didn't make parole again."

The 3 is because that's the 3nd time he's been before the parole board.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Happy Birthday 10th Kennedy.... no need to bother dotting the i's or crossing the t's..... you did some good work there wreckorator... no need to exert yourself with the little things!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

It is times like this I wonder how some can have a job as a baker and yet I have a degree and am professionally train yet unemployed. I'm starting to wonder if this is done on purpose just so they can get a spot on here....Conspiracy Theory!!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

More ordinal sins.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterxevo

Hey, if George Foreman can name all his sons George, then I can name all my daughters Amanda. So there.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteresty

It's my daughter's 7rd birthnay today, and I ordered her cake over the phone. I was hoping for a beautiful wreck that I could submit, but alas, no. It was lovely, the ginger and white cat iced cutely, the numbering correct, they even spelled her name properly. I was so disappointed...

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I think Keydunce is most likely Kaydence, because at least that makes a reasonably normal sounding name.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbob

Even the monkey on Lilly's cake looks confused.

BTW, there are quite a few Mavericks in our family as they are descendants of the real Mavericks who settled in this area. Fortunately no one has that as both a oneth and twost name.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuziMcG

I'm almost as concerned about what people are naming their kids these days (Maverick? Kaydence? Kanaan?) as I am that bakers don't know the firth thing about numbers. What is this world coming to?

@ SuBee, so glad to hear about the tradition of birthnays. I've missed the last eight of mine but now that I know, let the regular, every-day, nothing special times roll. Woo hoo! It's happy birthnays for me from here on out.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I need to get a cake like this for my birthday. I'll celebrate my eleventy birthday.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@Caroline, you have a brilliant mind!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Bravo, Sharyn! Unless I can't get the song out of my head, in which case it will be, *&@! you, Sharyn!

Jodee, you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Um, I just found this comment of mine from almost two years ago. And I quote:

"Haven't you ever gone so long without doing laundry that there's nothing left in the house to wear but Wonder Bread?"

This has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. But I think Wonder Bread should thank me for the obvious spike in sales they're about to experience. And by thank, I mean pay.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Poor Kennedy...still trying to figure out what a birLhday is.

Cross the t, cross the t...

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

@Sharyn - "Sigma squiggle" - snort!

@xevo - lol

Those ice-cream cones look almost too real - I'd worry about them melting! Well, except for the green one, which looks rather like Playdoh. However, it does remind me of when my then-three year old son went to Coldstone for the first time and, staring in awe at the array of flavors, exclaimed "Can I have BLUE and GREEN, with M&Ms mixed in?" Mint and blue raspberry, with chocolate - ergh. But he ate it all, with a giant smile on his face. Hopefully poor Maverick enjoyed his cake just as much!

Hey, I found the missing dot and cross from the 10th Kennedy's cake - they're hanging out on the "crossed h" and "dotted d" on Maverick's cake!

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Love it! I haven't been on here in a while. I'm glad to see you're still at it! Sadly, the cake decorators out there are still at it, too.

January 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Oh man lol. I had that first cake for a couple of birthdays and mine had actual ice cream in the cones. It was a Baskin Robbins cake too.. this one looks like it but what the heck is the dark green one? Lol I don't think whoever got that piece enjoyed a mouthful of frosting.

January 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Am I the only one who think Brian's cake, (third from the bottom) looks like iced styrofoam/ packing material?

January 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLotte

My Amanda 6 turns 7 next month. She's thrilled that she's famous!

If we have another wreck courtesy of DH, I'll keep you posted. :)

January 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeth M

Did anyone else read the blog title and hear a trumpet intro in their head? You know, dah dah DEE dah, dah dah DEE dee dah, and so on. (Final Countdown by Europe)

January 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

Who's Johnny?, she said.

January 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

It shows that I am not only a nerd but a damned OLD nerd that I was expecting someone to make a "Logan's Run" joke about the numbered names. CAROUSEL! RENEW! RENEW!

I know a dude that loves "Logan's Run" SO much, he actually changed his name to Logan 5. Well, he tried, anyway; it seems one cannot have a numeral as a name or middle initial. They still gave him a hassle when he wanted it to read Logan Five, so he kept his original/"real" first name and tacked it on as a last name, so Five is his middle name. NERD!

Your Pal,


January 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

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