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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Mama MIA!

Tabitha G. ordered a Mario cake for her five-year-old's birthday party.

You know Mario, right?

Yeah. This guy.


And that's when things went horribly, hilariously wrong:

"Did-a somebody call-a a plumber?" [eyebrow waggle]


No, no, take a moment. Soak it alllll in. The leather biker hat. The earring. The collar. The nipple and gratuitous chest hair. Oh yeah, and the fact that his lower half is on backwards. (Why? WHY??)

How did this happen? Why does this art even exist? And seriously, what the heck is going on with that front butt?

The world may never know.

We DO know the bakery replaced The Village Mario here with a free Spongebob cake, though.

So Tabitha, just one question:

Was SpongeBob wearing a gimp suit? :D


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Reader Comments (94)

O.o That is all.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

That's GREAT. I wonder what the Italian-extraction gay men on the other side of town got?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

HA HA HA HAA...this is hysterical. I LOVE it so much!!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Mama Mia
Here we go again.
My, my, I wish I had missed you.

Mama mia! Chest hair shows again.
Why, why? Why'd they'd have to twist you?
Kids were all broken-hearted
Don't even get me started.
Why, why, did they have to make you so?
Mama mia, that's a nipple, oh...
I, I, I think that it's time you go.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"The VIllage Mario" *snerk* You have SO made my day.

The front butt is reminiscent of many of the poses in the Hawkeye Initiative. There must be a fan base. :D

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermolly

Whhhhaaattt?! Why?! I noticed the front butt right away and totally missed the earring. And the Spongebob gimp killed me! Why does this exist?? Childhood = ruined

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

OMG. I think this might be one of my favourite wrecks ever. How? Why?!

On the bright side, at least they didn't put Mario's 'plumbing' on there ...

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrionyAt least we

Ron Jeremy portrays Mario?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper


January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterenchantressbatrider

Oh my ;) I cannot imagine what idea book that came from O_o. Lol@ sharyn, but what song is it sung to ?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@Sharyn: bwahaha!

and there are honestly no words for *that*. Well, possibly "OMGWTF!?"

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlittle mouse

What is seen cannot be unseen. I have been Rule 34ed today.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

It's the leering look on Mario's face that I noticed immediately. Then I noticed the knee bending the wrong way. Then . . . the front butt.
Then I was laughing too hard to notice anything more.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

And no one thought "Hmm, this is for a 5 year old. Maybe this is the wrong graphic." Do wreckerators have to have a brainectomy to do that job?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Mario? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Seriously, I could recycle that joke forever.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

*looks at cake*




*falls of chair laughing at the sheer wtf'ness of the design*

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAthersgeo

"How YOU doin'?" *wiggles eyebrows*

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

His lower half is on backwards because he has a nice butt and needs to show it off. And also show how flexible he is.

miss_paper: Now that you mention it, Ron Jeremy seems just about right. Or appropriately wrong.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

The source image, found by searching Bing for 'gay mario':

Gay Mario

Now the only question is, why would the cake decorator search for 'gay mario'?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGloriousCow

"Kiss mah front butt!" --Hermes Conrad

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStrix

Before finding fame and fortune in the world of games, Mario had a very brief career with the Village People....

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

You finally did it...
I am without speech.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

OhMyGosh! *flinch* Oh. My. Gosh. *herk*


Oh my gosh.

Thanks Jen, that was a special, special post!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann


January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

OK, I have to admit, upon seeing the nipple in the store...I would have busted up laughing. Once I cleared the tears away, I would kindly ask for another cake as well (but, uh, I'd kind of still want to take this one home too!)

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I don't even really want to THINK about why this might have been produced. Instead, I will unabashedly snicker over the latest news from Miami Beach: Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for drag racing, 55-60 in a 25, intoxicaticated, on pot, possibly on prescription meds, with an invalid Georgia license. Oh, and in a Lamborghini. No crashing cheap cars for HIM.

I guess if you're gonna go down, go down hard, huh?

And, does Princess Peach know about this? Or just Luigi?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Sharyn ~ My youngest has been watching that movie every single night for the last week. The mash-up in my head is so very wrong. O.O

I'm guessing that is a print out (edible paper...eeeewwwww) but that means backwards butt Mario is out there possibly in other formats too? Terrifying!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

At first I thought his head was turned around and that's why his butt was showing, but thenI remembered the visible nipple on the front. It's like that MC Escher crazy stairs picture-my brain can't make any sense of it!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

This is so bizarre *trelk*. How does something like this even a happen *glod* Somewhere a guy named Lance just had is fabulous dinner party ruined. *breld*

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJD

AAAHHHHH!!! I can NOT stop laughing! The Mario bedroom eyes are killing me!

Letsa go!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMalia

Unfortunately, yes. That image exists on the internet.

Though the good (???) news is that I think the Front Butt is just a poorly-rendered crotch and fat hip. I just wonder how they manage to find some obscure gay Mario fanart and not an official image.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRaikana

It could be an inside joke. Maybe the "5th" was maybe supposed to be 50th, or 25th, or any other number, but I can't see something being THAT screwed up without its being at least half-assedly intentional. Too bad we don't know the backstory. =^-.-^=

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That's not Mario. That's Paula Deen with a fudge brownie batter mustache. Beautiful side-boob.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterskruffs

Things they got right:

1. The eye color is correct.
2. The border is nice.
3. It's chocolate.

This looks like it's printed on cake paper. Which means someone actually sat down and designed this. My mind is officially boggled.

And why would anyone think a 5-year-old needs a cake with a nipple?

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I didn't think of backwards butt at all. My first thought was that he had love handles and an impressive… umm… cake...

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Out of curiosity, I tried a Google image search. No other images found, but Google says "Best guess for this image: Mario bros gay." Man, that Google is one smart cookie. Er, cake.

I spent several seconds trying to figure out the lower-half positioning. The backwards tush doesn't make sense--it's not a 3D image, so you can't accidentally put it on backwards. I'm stumped. And I'm never going to get that nipple out of my head.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

When I showed this to my husband, he reminded me that for my daughter's fifth birthday, we hired a Cinderella impersonator to come to her party. When she arrived she looked like a homeless, heroin addict in a bad blond wig (kind of like a Cinder Wreck.) I would have sent her away, but when the four and five year old guests saw her they gathered around her and hugged her and were so excited I just couldn't do it. They saw Cinderella. A few weeks later, when we visited Cinderella at Disney World, my daughter said to her, "Remember me? You were at my birthday Party!"

In other words, Tony probably thought the cake was fine.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Come on, Mario is just doing the good old boobs-n-butt pose just like all the nice superhero ladies. He's even dressed like one.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterViiriainen

@SaraCVT (my "twin" with two extra letters)



*falls off the couch laughing hysterically*

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Ummmm... That isn't his butt. The first thing I saw was his little Mario waking up to greet the world.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Of course there's also the PINK TRIANGLE on the hat... and while I think that my partner might get it for me for a birthday cake and it would be funny... we won't be ordering it any time soon for our 9 year old son... Village Mario! LOL

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrew

Are we sure that front butt is, indeed, a butt??

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That is not a front butt, that is his, uh, package? The love handles just help add to the confusion!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa B

oh wow! I'm in tears form laughing :D I've notice the front butt right away and I was too disctracted by this and the nipple to notice the earing ;)

Sharyn - awesone song (as always) but... right now I'm singing ABBA songs in my head :>

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMagda

I don't think that's a front butt... I think we've been exposed to a Mario that's inviting you to a pants party...

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

Probably the non-copyright version.....

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Love the heart on the hat!! And thanks for the post - home sick and needed a pick me up!!

Heeeeyyyyy Mariooooo!!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

What you're seeing as two butt cheeks is actually torso curve and penis bulge. See? He has a little round body, so there are two body curves (one on either side) and what you're seeing as right butt cheek is bulge. This Mario is endowed.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDoug

Actually it's not a "front butt" - Mario just has a very flexible neck and a third nipple on his hairy back!

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEddie

The most interesting detail of the leather hat is that it's a pink triangle. That's not Mario. More apt for a gay adult man than a five year old boy.

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBryan

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