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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan252019

Mama MIA!

Tabitha G. ordered a Mario cake for her five-year-old's birthday party.

You know Mario, right?

Yeah. This guy.

 

And that's when things went horribly, hilariously wrong:

"Did-a somebody call-a a plumber?" [eyebrow waggle]

 

No, no, take a moment. Soak it alllll in. The leather biker hat. The earring. The collar. The nipple and gratuitous chest hair. Oh yeah, and the fact that his lower half is on backwards. (Why? WHY??)

How did this happen? Why does this art even exist? And seriously, what the heck is going on with that front butt?

The world may never know.

We DO know the bakery replaced The Village Mario here with a free Spongebob cake, though.

So Tabitha, just one question:

Was SpongeBob wearing a gimp suit? :D

*****

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Reader Comments (31)

That's not his butt, hon. He's got a chubby belly and... he's happy to see you.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The only way this makes sense is if she went into the erotic bake shop by mistake. O_o

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

I guess it proves there really is fetish fan art (?) for EVERYTHING... Though it makes you wonder how the baker even found this, or what sorts of Google searches their computer was used to doing???

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

So many questions!!

So Mario is having a gay old time, is he? And what do he and Bowser do when they aren't fighting?

And if a Princess Peach cake had been requested, would she have been done up in a dominatrix theme?

What are these bakers inhaling or shooting up? Are they even sane? Do they even have a right mind?

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

That looks like edible paper. So, yes, how did that go so wrong? What kind of website did they get that picture from?

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I don’t think his lower half is on backwards. On closer inspection, the lumps are the line of his stomach on the left and, center stage his...uhhhh...pepperoni bulge. That I stopped and studied this long enough to reach this conclusion disquiets me and I already regret it.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterPuncch

The hands seem off too. Are they upside down? Or maybe this is Mario's back, and it's the nipple that's misplaced.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBetrayer

That can't be a plumber, no crack is showing at the top of the pants. (nod)

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAldin

When you google for cartoon character, DeviantArt is not your #1 source for authentic imagery.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

Did the baker *KNOW* this was for a small child? And yes, I think he's been put together from spare parts - the knees don't normally bend in that direction, and his hands are off. Not as "off" as the baker, but definitely off.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have a mouthful of coffee or similar when I looked at that image. I would have then had to explain how I ruined my computer screen and keyboard...

So wrong on so many levels.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Bakers really need to learn about 'safe search' options when googling a character.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJules

This is like the Little Mermaid priest all over again. It's clearly supposed to be a knee, but um... Wow it looks like someone else. πŸ˜†

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMary Puppe

He's leaning up against a wall. If you Google image search Gay mario it makes a little more sense. His bottom isnt on backwards.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

This is so very wrong and so very weird! Yes, that could be a bulge but his knee is bending the wrong way which leads me back to the front butt. But his knee could be bent to the side which means it COULD be a bulge, but then what is that other bump? I'm so confused! And seriously what image search was done that THIS is what came up first?!?! Even as the first high enough quality image to print?!? Why Baker person! WHY?!M

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

What the what!? There’s a huge disconnect between the figure and the inscription.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Leather Daddy Mario... Hmmm I know a few guys who'd love this!

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Note to bakers: If you don't know how a cartoon character looks like, please consult the customer when picking a picture out of google image search - especially if it's for a five-year-old.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNick Meta

I'm really unsettled about this. I really need more information .

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterErica

At least they got the mustache right.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterQuichepup

Imagine if she'd asked for Luigi.

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Maybe there is a very disappointed Birthday boy at the Blue Oyster Bar who got the mainstream version of Mario

January 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterGrumpyMum

Well you have shocked my poor hubby who loves Mario. He took one look and dropped his beloved pizza lol. I am still dying of laughter and he's playing Mario Kart to get over the image.

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

@Lady Anne - the cake has the text "happy 5th birthday Tony" on it, so they knew this was for a small child and went with... this... anyway.

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBetrayer

All that's missing is a nipple ring. Maybe it's on the other side.

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgrl47

Rule 34?

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMudmusher

Like others have said, that ain't a backwards bottom, hon. But the sheer horror of the reality probably caused your brain to seize upon the closest, safest alternate fact. 😝

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChrisPV

A friend on facebook messaged me that this had been posted. I'm laughing and crying all over again!!! It was a local grocery store bakery. My husband went to pick the cake up and called from the store. It went something like this... "umm... I think there's something... wrong. It... doesn't look right. It just... I'll send you a pic." I took one look and said, "You stay right there! I'm on my way." I drove to the store. He took the rest of the groceries... I spoke with the baker that happened to be an older lady (perhaps 60's?). "Did you even look at this? A nipple! A nipple!?" She shrugged. We stared at each other. I said slowly. "Can I speak with your manager?" I had to travel up to the front with this XXX cake. Lol Walk of shame? Lol He took one look. We go BACK to the bakery. Refund. New cake ordered. He offers to deliver free cake. Gift cards. Appparently, the image had been ordered as a joke gift for a bachelor's party... and the image was placed in the "safe for use" files.
Our autistic, video game lovin,' child still hasn't seen this picture. He's 10.
Needed this laugh again!!!!!! Bahahahahaha

January 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTabitha G.

*stares at cake*
OMG! WTF! Who would use that? How long did they google to even find something like that?
My God, it's like a train-wreck of questionable anatomy; I want to look away but I can't, it's just too weird!

*reads Tabitha G's description of the event*
ROFL.
But here's the real question... did anyone bother to remove the "bachelorette cake Mario" from the store's image files, or is it still lurking in there, waiting to be used on some other unsuspecting kid's cake?


@dutchgrl47

"All that's missing is a nipple ring. Maybe it's on the other side."

Or maybe it's just... lower...*shudders*...

January 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

You should see the fetish art of yoshi.
"I'm looking for a new rider *πŸ‘€*"

January 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

Many comments are saying that the bottom half is not backwards and Mario is just.. happy to see you. BUT have you not seen his legs? That is not how they work and bend! He is backwards and whoever drew this is the CCC of the art world.

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBakey Boot

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