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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Wrecky minion Lauren sent in today's cookie cake with a single, desperate plea:

"Tell me what this means!!"

And while I agree that it appears to be some kind of secret hieroglyphic code - no doubt used to communicate government secrets to fondant sympathizers - I honestly have no clue what it says.

So help me out, peeps:

My best guess?

Carrots seize (seas) the G3 checkpoint.

(Aha! Maybe someone is calling the Carrot Jockeys to action?)


And while you're at it, can somebody PLEASE tell me what this is?

Because all I see is a bleeding rain cloud. Or maybe a bleeding frozen brain. Oh! Oh! Could it be Frozen/ Walking Dead cross-over? DARE TO DREAM, PEOPLE.


Thanks to Lauren & Anonymous for finding either awesomely clever cake puzzles, or the world's most fiendish decorator trolls. (That bleeding thing is almost $34. THIRTY FOUR DOLLARS!)


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Reader Comments (84)

Lol. Maybe they're working on a new movie. Frozen Dead. Or maybe Walking Frozen. hmm..

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChubbyBudder

For the second one, I'm going with a beheaded and gutted sheep. EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

The first cake...yeah, I've got nothing but head scratches, there. Was that rejected custom cake?

I think the second one is Santa under an avalanche. Can't help with the first one though.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRWalker0501

Jen, do you realize what you've done?!? You've just destroyed months of strategic planning. They're going to have to scrub the mission.

The bleeding thing? I'm thinking Wooldemort meets "Sectumsempra!"

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

It's obviously Santa crushed in an avalanche.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentere

I think the first cookie means the wreckerator was on LSD when they did this. I have no idea what's going on here.

The second one: a sheep led to the slaughter. Let the sacrificing begin!

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

#1 needs to be deciphered by the team on the new series Scorpion. Perhaps it was intercepted before the agent could pick up the message. Lives could be at stake, man!

#2 ... I'll take beheaded sheep for $500, Alex.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I really need to know what these are. Is "Santa under an avalanche" a thing? Surely there are some bakers who read this blog... can you help us understand??

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterA. Non!

It's an acid trip.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I thought "mangled sheep" too, for that second one; definitely even creepier than the usual cupcake-cake, and that's saying something!

That first one... oh, gosh. If that letter is a "G", maybe it's about Grade 3, as in "you passed (or made it into) third grade; have some carrots!" (But I wouldn't bet on it.)

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGoryDetails

The first thing my macabre mind thought when I saw the second picture was of a disemboweled and beheaded sheep.
I see I'm not the only one that thought that.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

I think the M is sideways - these carrots are clearly proclaiming to be Genetically Modified - stuff organic, these bad boys can cross rivers!

...Though what has happened to that poor sheep is anyone's guess...

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterUrgo

The top one might be two palm trees, then ocean waves. Under the waves are, uh, eels that are trying to communicate with us?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterM

The CCC is clearly a bleeding ulcer, only it seems to be located in the intestines instead of the stomach.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

1. Beats the crumbs out of me what is says, but MIGHT they have been planning to serve it at the G3 summit thingy? Only, they froze it and then they forgot it? Or, maybe 3 Gs beats 2 of a kind? OR, there's vitamin G3 in carrots, as long as you don't let them touch water?? I don't even care, now! Stupid carrots.
2. Sure! No problem! The reference CLEARLY states that this Well, it seems "apparent" that Santa fell asleep on the floor, in a laundromat...yeah, that's it. It also appears that there's been a major malfunction with the washer (which sounds better if you read it in Tom Hanks' voice, for the drama). Anyway; it was well worth the price, considering the dangerous nature of the CCC in general. =^-.-^=

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The Second cake looks like a Zombie Sheep to me.

The first one is more tricky. A stealth attempt to order an engagement ring, Perhaps.

Gold, Size 3, 2 karats. Decorated with waves and check the box before delivery.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Cake #1: we'll show two carrots when the water breaks - you'll then ask for three separate checks, triggering the waitress to complain. This will pass the message on to the baker in the back room.

Cake #2: Volcanic eruptions in Iceland?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRepubAnon

My guess is "Check that you wave your two karat ring a-round!"

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

The first cake looks like a practice decoration, like there was a new guy at the store and he had to practice his carrots and zig zags

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertina

Santa got ran over by a snowman?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCammie

2nd cake seems like someone asked the Queen of Hearts "Do you want to build a snowman?" and she said "Off with their head - or arms, or whatever body part is closest" ew.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

"Wooldemort." hee hee hee.

"Washed in the blood of the lamb" is the best I can come up with, starting with "sacred heart of ..." something ...

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

The top cake is about a diamond ring. Two carats, G3 color and quality.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngi

The 2nd one makes me think of Santa Claus covered in snow.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterfayefaye

I think that second one might be a zombie cake, looks like a brain with bites out of it.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLFT

1st cake? I haven't the foggiest.
My theory on the second cake is that the Bumble from Rudolph didn't actually bounce but landed *SPLAT* on Santa and smushed the poor elf.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Thanks for the Saturday post! A special treat.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

I think it is the map of the US with the Ebola hotspots.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMidwestMom

I'm guessing the 2nd one is Santa caught in an avalanche.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

John, something tried to download when I loaded the site today... Not sure what it was, but ads shouldn't download!

[Editor's note- Sorry about that, SM. I've pulled a bunch of the ads and I'm going to go yell at someone now. Please email me if you have anymore problems. -john]

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Okay, we might be getting closer. There is an Invicta Pro Diver G3 watch. If there is one with two carats of diamonds, that might fit. And the check mark might be the time: 10:10 or code for 10/10 (someone's birthday).

Or perhaps the decorator was watching QVC and didn't have any paper to write on. This is to remind him to order the 2-carat underwater G3 watch. "Check" indicates it was ordered.

(BTW, when you Google "2 carat water G3", this CakeWrecks page is the third hit.)

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

first cake is an easter egg. second one is definitely a bloody sheep.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjen m

It's posted out of sequence. Santa got trapped in the fog because Rudolph was sick, so he sent a desperate plea to the Easter Bunny to help him out by making a cookie cake as a map. Easter Bunny has to get Dora the Explorer to help him read the map, cross the river, and proceed to the 3G checkpoint that all Guardians know about to rescue Santa before a Wampa eats him!

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

The first item is clearly a Hipster Halloween Cookie. Notice that it is too cool for traditional Jack O Lantern eyes (they are so last year), so it has gone with the celebrated carrot eyes. It is slightly consternated that people try to be like it, so it has a frustrated frown, with a very hip soul patch beard. The blue is, of course, due to the saddened nature of the creature. The rest of the cookie tells an epic hero's journey of crossing cultures. The Jack O Hipster Cookie decided to branch out into the world of the "Gangsta." Hence the "G," for, "What up, G?" When that opening was not met well, it told the other Gangsta Cookies - "You better Check Yourself!"

This was also not received well, and the end result was the heartbreak and horror of the second item. Hipster Jack O Cookie was left beaten and bleeding on the ground, where the snow covered him...

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Ok. The sheep could be a passover cake! Yes, as a bloody sheep... or the Santa thing...And is that first one about cell service? G3????

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBriana

Practice cakes from cake decorating lessons?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I agree with @Angi - A diamond of the first water - 2 carats - G3 color and quality

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergalahun

The 2nd one looks like The Santa Clause, where Santa fell off the roof and got covered in a pile of snow.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLori

G3 color, check, under two carats.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPooka

I think the second cake is intended for a dentist's office. It appears to represent the bleeding caused by brushing too hard, hence the mounds of toothpaste.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

The top one obviously means:

You're 3g?


Floating carrots.

s to what that means ... no clue.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I think the first one has something to do with a dental procedure: Double root canal...G3 check?

The second one might be hell freezing over, represented artfully in cupcakes. Like it's traditionally done.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

Im wondering I'd the first cake thingy is a fraternity or sorority reference......? Maybe? Anyone? Crickets?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLindaJay

Can't help you with the first one. It's making my head hurt. The second is clearly a Passover cake. You know, from when the Hebrews slaughtered lambs and slopped the blood all over their doorways to keep the boogyman out.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJ.D.

(to the tune of 'Slice' by Five for Fighting, a.k.a., John Ondrasik)

There was a time a long, long time ago
When cakes weren't full of bloody snow
No symbols we can't figure out
Please tell me what these are about.

[chorus] Bakers, sing me a song
You've wrecked these cakes too long
You're more than just a slice of mysterious cake

Have you read Jen's blog today
It will make you laugh all day
Maybe even think a bit
Oh, and don't forget John's wit.


You were more than a slice
More than a slice
You were more than just a slice of mysterious cake

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I would say the second one makes me think of a used, um, "lady thing," but I won't say it lest there be any menfolk around.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

The second one in the Passover lamb after it's been slaughtered.
The first one is a 2 carat "grill" for 3G -check it homie!

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJose Parrot

For the first cake, here is a very long shot. Could it be from Canada? I was trying to read the rebus in French, which gives: 'carottes', 'eau', 'gé' (the letter G), 'trois' (or the wavy blue line may be another water symbol), and the check mark which may be for 'bon' or 'OK'.

The label on the cake looks like 'chocolate chip', so the carrots are nothing to do with the cake itself, they are part of the message.

'Eau-gé' may be the name 'Auger', common in French-speaking Canada, and there are many people with this name at Trois-Riviéres in Québec. And at Trois-Rivières, a branch of a social welfare foundation called called 'La Carotte Joyeuse' has just opened: see

So the message may be 'Carotte' ('joyeuse' understood), 'Auger' (name of person running this branch?), 'Trois-Rivières' (a combined 3 and river symbol), and a check mark showing that the new branch is now up and running.

As I said, a very long shot.

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

I think Santa fell off the roof and the snow from the roof buried him. But I can't think of any puns for that. The first one could be viewed upside down and then it would say "checked for Chevrons and Carrots" on a chocolate chip cookie. Maybe Chevrons are the new carrots for trendy cookies?

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLuanne

Two mustachioed orange tornadoes crossed the ocean to the attend the G3 summit to check whether anyone there could help dig Santa out from under the snowbank?

Best I can do!

October 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

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