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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

8 St. Patrick's Cakes That Require Beer Goggles


Except maybe this guy:

 Yeah. Stay away from that guy.


Now listen, Wreckies, tonight while you're out ingesting all that green beer, I want you to remember: drinking-and-running-over leprechauns is NOT COOL.

Guess he forgot his lucky charms.


That said, a little alcohol might help explain this:

::head tilt::

Nope, I'm wrong. 

Only a LOT of alcohol can explain this.

Still don't know what they are, but I guess Trish has dibs.


And remember, boys and girls: seeing a giant beard with a popcorn mustache is fine:

  ... but when the beard starts talking, it's time to call it a night.


Another way you know the party's gone too long? 

When PBR starts making sense.

No, not the beer - PBR is Roy G. Biv's cousin. 

(Give it a minute.)

(Theeeere it is.)


 And while we're on the subject, let's give pot a wide berth tonight, too, ok?

'Cuz that thing looks nasty.


 Oh, but look! 

It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!

  The dog turd is pooping a rainbow!




Thanks to Mindy W., Holly F., Sarah S., Lindsay J., Stephanie V., Mel M., Marlie B., & Christina R. for refraining from pinching one off.



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Reader Comments (34)

Sung to "Danny Boy"

Oh Danny Boy, your lips, your lips are pouting
Someone call Glenn, he killed a leprechaun
The pots of gold aren't looking very shi-i-ny
Trish you must choose, must choose. Go on decide.

The talking beard, with popcorn 'stache is dreadful
When PBR stars making sense we'll go
'Cause I don't care, that Pot O' Gold looks na-a-sty
Oh rainbow pooh, just ew. I hate you so.

Erin go blah...

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That last one must be from one of those Volkswagen engineers pointed out during the super bowl.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Tree

Bejasus, begorrah and all that, happy St Patty's Day to all!

This clip is worth watching:

Having been married to a true Irishman for 13 years, it reminds me of the first few times I met my father-in-law...

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Top o' the mornin' to you all!

I don't know what's scarier about that first one...the fact that it's a ccc[ptooey]? The eyes? The lips? The hat? The collar? AAAiiiigh!

And, regarding #2, what does a piece of kale with some light green blobs of frosting on it have to do with the Irish?

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

PBR took me a few minutes to understand because the colors actually look like OBR to me.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

PBR will never make sense, no matter how much green beer I that actually Pink? It looks more like Orange, or some weird "between" color that no one knows the name of...Also, why are there ice cream cones with nipples on the ice cream scoops? In number three, did the wreckerator frost PANCAKES? Well, it's after ten a.m.-- guess it's time to hit the St. Paddy's Day boiler makers, at least I won't care WHAT stuff looks like after a few shots of Irish Whiskey and Green Beer. <hic>
S'h'all goolngrhnngggrreech...<hic> What are we sheeing agin??? keepsh moving....<hic> zzzzzzzgggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn


Sharyn, brilliant Danny Boy lyrics!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVBeach Alemap

So now you're supposed to take gold coins into a black hole. And celebrate it with baked confections. OK.

I honestly thought those cookies were floating on top of a cake with white icing. Which made their sad appearance even sadder.

But the pot of pooh rainbow is the saddest of all. One final test before you get the gold? Ick.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Number 4:

Sorry, all I see is bloody penises with sadly fitting condoms.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Yes, yes we ARE lucky. Not only does the dog turd sprout rainbows (hrk) but......
we have Cakewrecks to start our day!! Thanks Jen!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Sorry but I'm pretty sure the poo pile is puking the Roy, too much green beer? I'm ashamed to say I had to google Roy G Biv but when I did I was relieved I got PBR immediately o,0

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKimberJ

to Rachel CrazyMum - not sure if I should say Thanks or not! Face hurts from laughing so hard at the Sketch on youtube! And then the next half hour watching a whole bunch more of them - never saw this show before. Happy St. Pat's, all!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjust me

In some ways, I hate this day for I am naturally red-headed, green-eyed, fair-skinned, covered with freckles and have not an ounce of Irish blood in me. (I'm actually Norwegian, Polish, and one-quarter American Indian. Make of that what you will.) I try to play it fair, though do you know how hard it is to find items of apparel that DON'T say "I'm Irish" somewhere?

I was once publicly scolded on this day for wearing shamrock earrings and, I guess, looking too Irish. I'm not sure what I could have done.

The ironic thing is, I have a friend in Dublin, and she assures me "ah, sure, you'll be grand."

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Bahahaha@sharyn :D. No amount of alcohal could explain those cakes O_o

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Okay, I was tilting my head when I got to the part that said, "head tilt..."

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

I guess that lemon creature wanted to be a leprechaun for the day. Oh my nothing brings me joy like seeing a rainbow shooting out of a dog turd. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

So glad I'm not the only one seeing nipples on the 4th one. O.O

So is that last one from a Unicorndog? We all know that Unicorns poop rainbows, right?

My St. Paddy's day will be spent taking care of the 4th day post-op chipmunk girl. In fact, maybe green beer would make things a little easier...for me! Hey, enough green beer and I will happily cheer them on when she and her sister fight! Okay, maybe that isn't such a great idea.

@Sharyn ~ Another song to add to my repertoire :-)

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Having worked in a bar for years that had PBR can specials for $1 I totally understood PBR making sense once the party's gone too long. That stuff only tastes good once you're too drunk to notice that it doesn't. But I couldn't figure out what that had to do with the cake. After finally giving up I read the line under the picture and then the light bulb went off.

As for cake #4, I couldn't figure out what ice cream cones with cherries and some odd blue line on them had to do with being Irish until I read the comments. Now all I can see are bloody penis with ill fitting condoms on them which I also can't figure out has to do with being Irish. Maybe Trish knows. Thanks for that visual Fluffy Cow.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

@ just me: You're welcome! I must have watched it over a dozen times, and it still makes me howl. I think it's the look of blank incomprehension on the interviewer's face as she tries to decipher his speech that gets me. I know that expression all too well; I remember trying to talk to my future FIL and BIL and struggling badly. I think that my look was not just of incomprehension, but also a touch of panic. Fortunately, we've now been married for 13 years, and I can understand them fine. As a point of interest, my husband understood all of this clip with absolutely no problems at all!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I'm waiting for the Pulaski Day cakes...

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm green and not from envy!!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

The dog turd is pooping a rainbow through its Kidney stones!!!! It's a DOUBLE MIRACLE!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Nipple Cones! Those were my favorite as a child! Especially the ones with the blue underwire. Mmmmmm mmm.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMark

I just loved that I actually did ::head tilt:: before I even read ::head tilt::

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W.

Look, it's Sponge Bob Hexagon Head!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I "got" PBR. However, being a freelance writer, I know tons of other freelance writers. Some of them cover "Professional Bull Riding" and that is PBR, so that's the first thing I thought.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Ilene Delaney

Egads! That first CrapcakeCharacter (a form of CCC) looks like it may have ingested some seriously toxic ingredients. Maybe the ingredients were outdated. Look at the uneven pupils, the flushed cheeks...the mouth that looks like an allergic reaction to cheap lipstick...Oh, no...I just remembered: Soylent Green is people!!!!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

We all must be suffering from impure thoughts today, because all I could think when I saw the Pot d Gold (look closely) was a large pile of teeny yellow decapitated (deboobicated?) boobiches.

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

"The dog turd is pooping a rainbow," might be one of the most beautifully eloquent things I've ever read on this website!

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I have managed to avoid the green everything by hiding in my apartment lol. Of course listening to drunken neighbors is enough for me. After seeing these I think I may just call it a night lol.

March 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I just loved that I actually did ::head tilt:: before I even read ::head tilt::

March 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermarkward

I managed to keep it together...until I read "The dog turd is pooping a rainbow!" that cracked me up!

Maybe the first one is supposed to be a "Simpsons"-esque leprechaun? Or an Irish lemon? No, I know what it is. It's.....Jakovasaur!! NOOOOO!!!!

March 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Great post, Jen! I was snorting through my laughter at this one. :-)

March 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

glad to see I am not the only one to see boob-creamcones on #4. I always don't expect to laugh my head off when I read these pages, and it is probably more effective if I don't have expectations, but I always end up with at least a good genuine LOL at some point.
Joe mama, do you mean the light bulb went ON? Or does "getting it" turn the light bulb off in your case? I guess when you gave up the light turned off.......
Jodee ROFL Unicorndogs!

March 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersuzevans

I'm a little confused by #4. What does Trish have to do with it? All I see is a cookie that says Irish. Please explain. :) Love the site by the way.

April 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

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