My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

5 Kids' Cakes So Creepy They're Actually Hilarious

[dramatic announcer voice]

From the wreckers who brought you... Monkey Ball!


Handsy McStrangles-A-Lot:




Ham Head!


And this candle:


Comes the most terrifying children's birthday cake of 2014.

She's not here to be sweet.

She's not here to be your friend.

She's here...

["But mooo-ooooom! I want a PRINCESS CAKE!!"]

...for just desserts.


Thanks to Deirdre M., Anony M., Charesse, Tiffany Z., Emma P. (who found the candle in a vintage cake decorating manual), & Angela F. for the perfect princess-craze antidote.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« FYI: The Halloween Ghosts Are Coming Along Swimmingly | Main | Redefining "Poo Poo Head" »

Reader Comments (31)

That looks like ET when he was dressed up; is that what it's supposed to be?!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterlesli

Those are...priceless?? Given the Roman numerals on Ham Head I realized it had to have something to do with the Super Bow(e)l, but what, exactly?? Aha! It’s a football player wearing the worst-looking helmet ever to appear in cake form. *sigh*

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJansville

You shouldn't be so mean to Princess E.T.!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLugh

1) Is this baker just monkeying around or what? I guess this is a chimp off the old block. I certainly wouldn't go ape over this one. That this one is creepy is just a gibbon.
2) Oh, how cute. Thing's sisters came to visit.
3) Are those wings or ears? If those are ears, the hive would certainly be abuzz about them. I think the baker who made this one flunked biology. He certainly didn't get a "Bee" in it.
4) Okay, what's he doing in the kiddie pool - brining?
5) This is Medusa's ugly blond sister, Medula. She's so ugly that all her snakes became cyclops and got pink eye.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Can't sleep, cake will eat me. Can't sleep, cake will eat me. Can't sleep....

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Is it just me, or does that look like ET in a princess crown?

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterimspiffier

...the tiara nipples are staring at me..... O_o ..... (.) (.)....

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAron

I think the last one is E.T. being attacked by nipple worm brain parasites.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPaganduck

That first one is the scariest :^O

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLST

That "princess" cake looks an awful lot like what would happen if E.T. dressed up as Cinderella.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

It's the face of Bo...but PRETTY ;-D

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDetAmySantiago

Anyone else see this?

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlana Skye

That "princess cake" looks like ET when he was in the dress and wig.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Jgr

Is that... is that Trump with a tiara?

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Jennifer took the words right off my keyboard!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Did ET have brain worms?

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrrly Girl

The manicure / nail polish one is actually done very well . Yes , it might be terrifying to some people but the work is excellent and realistic ( perhaps TOO realistic )

I agree with others who have commented . The last cake DOES look like ET - a squished ET .
And that ......... thing on its head is bordering on obscene x/

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterThe CRB

@Jennifer My thoughts exactly: Trump with a tiara. Plus he's a bit worn out from a long day of bragging, grabbing and air punching.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGullstikke

Are those.... boobs on her crown???

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuburbancat

My thought was "Princess Cthulu"!
And, um, hands. A hand with five fingers and no thumb. Whooah, that's a bit of "The Beast with Five Fingers"!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJilara

Aaaaah!!!! Now I can't unsee Trump with a tiara!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterdbc

Yes, Jennifer, it IS Trump with a tiara! Except I didn't see a tiara, I saw some sort of sea creature, like an anemone.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The one with the hands is obviously for a girl who loves nail polish. It's so obvious.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLaCarla

I'm pretty sure the first cake is an unholy crossbreed of a monkey and a frog. What hath science wrought?!

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

Can we put the ham helmet on creepy ET princess?

For Mike re: #5, naturally her middle name is Oblongata.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

ET and Barbie had a child.

October 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Did someone just stick a princess crown on a Donald Trump cake?

October 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGale Langley

I know I shouted oh my gosh what is that thing when I saw that last one lol. Looks like the "princess" really wants to eat the next person to lift the lid on that.. oh man lol.

October 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That poor duckling! It's weeping in despair as its brain slowly melts. Setting fire to cute animals has to be up there with serving slices of baby butt as signs-the-modern-world-has-lost-the-plot. Or is this the price we pay for no longer having public hangings and bear-baiting? *sigh*

October 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAA

E...T... phone... bakery...

My eyes are burning worse than that poor chicken’s from that image!

October 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

# 4 is obviously a Sontaran celebrating someone's 47 birthday.
The "Trump" "ET" cake looks more like grumpy cat to me.

That is all.

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