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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Oh Tannen Bums

Don't sweat it, bakers; this month is going to be easy as pie. All you've gotta do is load up on super simple holiday designs!


You know, like Christmas trees:


and candy canes:


Or Christmas trees:

(I see the side silhouette of Ben Franklin. You?)


And strands of lights:


[rubbing temples] Or Christmas trees:


And stockings:


Or... Christmas trees?


Ooh, hey, or presents! Right? Can't get easier than a square with a bow on it!

Never mind.


[gritting teeth] Or Christmas trees:


Or candles:



Thank you.

Next week: SPACING.


Thanks to Erin M., Wildkatt, Jason D., Christy G., Anne H., Anne K., Emma G., Jillian H., Christine, Maureen W., and Janet P., for making like these trees, and confusing the heck out of all of us.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (19)

And a Merry Chris, Sam T to you too.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Are those gumballs on that "christmas tree"???

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersillygirl

1) The baker couldn't even play connect-the-dots correctly.
2) A Christmas boomerang. You know, you never can get rid of these things.
3) It's a seal, a Christmas seal, balancing a yellow ball on his nose.
4) Christmas sperm making their escape?
5) If this thing was white, I'd say maybe it was a snowman, with too much bling. Come on, bakers, you ever even seen a pine tree?
6) I had to pop into the local pub for a pint of my favorite Christmas ale.
7) Junior's going to be in trouble for playing ball in the house at Christmas time.
8) I think someone has their holidays confused. This looks like an Easter cake and that's supposed to be a cross. Tell the baker he needs to go back and get his story straight. His timing is really off.
9) "Look, Mommy, at what's under the "tree". It's a Christmas tree poop".
10) I guess this baker watched the one Marx Brothers movie where Harpo proved you can burn a candle at both ends.
11) Finally got the shape right and just about everything else is wrong. Is the baker trying to combine both Hanukkah and Christmas with a star of David on top of the tree? And it looks like another tree is doing its "duty". The baker could at least take a fork and make lines to make it look like bark. And then there's the message. Merry Christ Sam? What is he saying here? Is this guy Sam some delusional goofball who has a Messiah complex?

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

That last one is missing a comma. "Merry Christ, Sam". Also, is that a star of David on top of the, erm, tree? Oy gevalt.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Aw, man, that hexagonal cupcake cake would've been the perfect shape for a 3D present, too. They really missed an opportunity to make something of that awkward shape.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDaniell

With that little dot close to the top and the downturned line, the candle on the left looks like Beaker.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMary C

Maybe it's supposed to be a chimney, not a stocking. That's on-theme.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

I think that one cake looks like Woodstock.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Candles? The one on the left is Beaker from The Muppet Show.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCharlie

The day when bakers stop trying to convert cupcakes into sheetcakes will be a glorious one, indeed. We will have to celebrate with.......... cake?

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Cake #1: Reminds me of a dreamcatcher.
Cake #2: Australian candy cane? The boomerang-cane?
Cake #3: Anyone read Over the Hedge? Kinda reminds me of one of the critters in silhouette.
Cake #baseball: What, I have baseball ornaments on my tree…whatever gets us to summer sooner.
Cake #candles: It's like they stuck lumps of raw bread dough on the cake.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Those "candles" are celebrating the fact that both Voyager 2 probes have excited exited the solar system.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKat

My god these are revolting...

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The boomerang cake must be a fruitcake. Those things keep coming back, too.

December 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

I think I would save my money and get a pie instead of these lol. The candy cane looks more like a candy cane boomerang which is hilarious as I picture throwing that and it coming back to get me. Oh the joys of this season lol.

December 11, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

On #3 - is that a magic mushroom someone is getting as a present? And on the last one, you can see they've actually corrected the way they wrote 'Christmas', and this is the improved version. (The boss wandered by and said 'Hey, you've left the s out of Christmas. Can you fix it? Perfect otherwise.')

December 11, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Lovin' that Christmas tree cupcake. The more (icing) the merrier!!!

December 11, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Are we sure the stocking one isn't supposed to be a chimney? I'd buy chimney before stocking with that one.

While we're at it, are we sure the candy cane isn't a festively wrapped boomerang?

For some reason, the string of lights one makes me think of the Skeksis gathering in the Dark Crystal.

December 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Those candles look like Beaker from The Muppet Show! Meep! Mee mee meep!

December 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Ilene Delaney

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