My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Hanukkah Blues

We all know bakers really only have one go-to Hanukkah design:

Blue and white snowflakes.


It's the kind of design that says, "Hey, I can dig your Jewish Christmas thing, but I prefer to express it in a generic, non-committal way that even those crazy Winter Solstice people might buy."

"Plus I get to make more of my special Halloween spider webs."


And just like real snowflakes, every Generic "Hanukkah"(winkwinknudgenudge) design is completely unique.

Like fingerprints. Or hairballs.


Are you feeling the warm glow of the season yet?


How 'bout now?


Hang on, I have an idea: how do you feel about adding a little extra fiber in your diet?

No, really, there's cake in there. PROOOOMISE.

(Supposedly that's edible paper, not a rain slicker. But I'm not buying it.)


Ok, ok, what would you say if I told you I actually found a cake with both "Happy Hanukkah" and a Star of David on it - and nothing's wonky or misspelled?

You: "It's on plastic, isn't it?"

Me: "Yes. Yes, it is."

And on everyone's favorite traditional Jewish dessert, too!


Oooh, wait, it appears one brave soul actually did attempt to pipe a Star of David!

6,000 years of cultural heritage just went, "BOINK."

But at least it has the right number of sides.

[Foreshadowing? What's that?]






Thanks to Ami E., Sarah B., Nicole M., Sandy H., Saundra, Rebecca S., Lena C., True B., & Amy K., who are all special snowflakes in my heart. My icy, icy heart.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« Some Days You Finish The Banana... | Main | The Far Side Of Cake, Vol 23 »

Reader Comments (14)

Oy vey!

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Awwwwe no one can pipe a Menorah... oh wait they would get the number of candles wrong...

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

*Stares in Jewish wtf*

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

I only have one question. Where's the ointment?

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Is that Israeli couscous on the first one? Very Jewish.

As someone who celebrates Hanukkah, I wouldn't begin to think of most of these as meant for Hanukkah and if the label said so, I'd be wary. The one with a six-pointed Star of David is definitely the best (better than I could do) and the tres leches isn't too terrible. But really, Hanukkah, like Christmas, isn't a cake holiday to begin with.

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

As a Pagan, I want to say the last cake is a brave attempt at a pentagram, for Yule. But

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Of course I caught the Calvin & Hobbes reference! :-D

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Um…why is the one cake wrapped up like a present? It's like one of those Bed Bath & Beyond bags they give you when a gift is too large to be covered in paper.

And, um, why is there green stuff on the cherries on the tres leches cake?

Bakers! You should be helping the non-Jewish understand Hanukkah better, not creating more confusion!

I also wonder if any of these are kosher. So many questions...

December 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Oh well I am waiting on the demonic Santa Clause cakes to show up. Soon enough they are going to then I am going to laugh hysterically and get the holy water lol.

December 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I think the snowflakes are just winter cakes, not Hanukkah cakes.

December 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Ok, but is that 5 pointed star a Hanukkah cake or a Dallas Cowboy cake? 😂

December 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNathalie

The tres leche cake must be an ode to Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein... >.>

December 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Perhaps cake 7 was a nod to Phineas & Ferb's Mexican-Jewish cultural festival. Or not. o.O

December 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJen

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