My friends, it's 3:17 AM.
DO YOU KNOW THIS IS A PENGUIN?
Well it is.
And now you are AWARE.
Sunday was Penguin Awareness Day, so here are a few more facts you should know:
FACT: Penguins have hinged necks, and can swivel their chins up 160 degrees.
Or maybe this one was hit by a truck.
Either way, best not to step over it while wearing a skirt.
FACT: Penguins are part ninja. One could be sneaking up behind you at this very moment, and you would never know.
A dark aura of foreboding washed over Rudolph... along with the faint scent of kippers.
FACT: Penguins have an affinity for lifting classic cars with their beaks.
It really impresses the hot chicks.
"Vroom vroom, mutha*&!@r!"
FACT: Penguins don't die.
Well, ok, they DO die, but then they turn into ghost penguins, which are, like, WAY cooler.
FACT: That "cooler" line was totally intentional.
FACT: Penguins can actually melt in water tainted with 2000 Flushes.
So no splashing.
Thanks to Traci G., Stefanya M., Michele K., Ginie, Chardy C., & Gene H. for nuthin' but the facts, man.
And from my other blog, Epbot: