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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Poppin' A Squat On A Frosted Blue Ball

Confusing-but-exuberant life advice is my new favorite thing:

Oooh, Let's is!

 Looks like someone's missing Valentine's Day:

Stop picturing the swirly things as legs. Stop picturing the swirly things as legs. Stop picturing...


And can't wait for Mardi Gras:

(It's clearly flipping us off for not knowing a fleur-de-lis when we see one.)


While you're chewing on that mystery, here's another:


(If you can stare at anything besides that blue ball Mr. Baldy McParachute-Pants is squatting on, then you're a better woman than I.)


Still, the crown jewel of this week's collection - the veritable pièce de résistance, if you will - has to be this thing:

the actual.


Thanks to Karyn S., Debi S., Robbie B., Lacey F., & Sarah W. for the magical ant-infested breakfast floating over an instagrammed landscape, because, seriously, I couldn't even make this stuff up.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« It's Like A Little Baby Unicorn... OF NIGHTMARES | Main | 10 Bakers Who Would Really Suck At Pictionary »

Reader Comments (33)

OK, after staring and staring for a procrastinatingly long time, I figured out the last one. It's supposed to be eggs with pepper with bacon and sausage on a flower chinet plate. Why anyone would make that on a cookie cake? Why the pepper looks like a million ants? Why? Why?

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDebdvm

I totally thought the second one was a wonky hurricane symbol with a heart in the middle. A hurricane would put a damper on Valentine's Day. 🤔

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Bacon and eggs on a floral plate, with a sprinkling of pepper, or possibly ants. And a ridiculously small, overcooked pancake.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Is that last pic supposed to be bacon and eggs on a plate? What is the brown splat? Why are there fruit flies all over the "eggs"?

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDeanne

1) I think it's a cold and clammy day, or I'm mitten something here.
2) Who is Yoc? Is it Urg, the caveman's love?
3) I was thinking the same thing, that this is a rather rude gesture. Unless it's the "Flying Fickle Finger of Fate" award.
4) It's more like "What Down", and I'm not even going to speculate.
5) That little tag in the corner probably says, "You are here, but you're wishing you were somewhere else".

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

do you notice the sticker next to that last cake directing us clearly what to do with that enigma? Tip it off the table, off the table and down as fast as possible. The only cure is to kill it.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAron

This bakery, it is frightful.
I won't even take a bite full.
The grammar is poor, you know.
"Let's is snow, let's is snow, let's is snow."

My eyes, they are a-popping.
These bakers should be stopping.
And who the heck is Yoc?
Hit the baker, in the head, with a rock.

Why are they giving us the finger?
That's really not very nice.
Why does that poor guy linger,
Sitting on a ball of ice?

This breakfast is unappetizing,
Even with the sunny side rising.
That finger, it let's us know.
Time to go, time to go, time to go.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

#2 I don’t see legs, I see a LOVE HURRICANE (Yeah, Baby!!)

Send that last one to the CW Hall of Fame.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

I get the last one. It’s breakfast on the kind of stoneware dishes everyone’s grandma had. What I don’t get is the second one, so I’ll go with a late ‘70s SNL reference: “What the hell is that?!”

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Do you want ants? Because when you make your ?bacon and eggs? out of frosting.... that's how you get ants.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterGreta


February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

...Is the swirly-legged I Love You cake supposed to be a uterus??

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I've obviously seen too many wrecks, I see the third cake as a "mansword" with a swollen handle.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

Beggin' Strips, two eggs over easy with extra gnats, and a single meatball served on your grandmother's midcentury dinnerware. Looks like a perfect breakfast.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAllyn

Bacon & eggs on a floral plate...with a sausage patty? And pepper?

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTK

Because when I think of dessert, I think of bacon and eggs. With ants.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterccrow

Well the last one is simple: The ants got onto the guy's breakfast eggs and ruined breakfast for him, so to get revenge, the now-hungry man has pooped on his flowers in fury and then lit them on fire to kill the ants!

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChenaya

Is that bacon and eggs in the garden with ants? I mean, if it is, that's a pretty good execution right there! But, my one question is, what's the brown circle thingy?

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Fried peppermint patty,
Flying bloody streamers of --- um --- nevermind,
Aaaaand ................ eggs with pepper sperm!
Sperm pepper.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

OMC! breakfast cookie? I think I might hurl.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAngie R

I think those picnic ants were supposed to be pepper

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered Commenteroneblankspace

See that picture to to right of the last one? That's what you're supposed to do! Shove it off the table edge.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBeth Ann

WELL.....I did, in fact, manage NOT to stare at old Baldy McPP, but I don't FEEL any better , so where does that leave me? (...left holding the ball----) story of my...

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"Bacon and eggs in the garden where the dog has pooped" title for the last one. These things just don't come easy! Lol and what the hell!

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Messantonio

The thing that is not legs is clearly The Preeminent from Ninjago.

February 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees Goatse in that "Fleur-de-lis."

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterM.

The top half of the What Up creature makes me think of a vulture. The bottom half...

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Caution: if you stare speculatively at the last one too long, the ants start moving!

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCorla

@M.: well, I didn't see it _before_, but now....aaarrggghhh. Bleecccchhh!

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterOtherJim

I believe the tag on the Epcot cookie cake says “chocolate chip.” Somehow the lack of chocolate chips bothers me more than the rest.

And I have a message for Greta: Lana did it

February 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterManda

Lol these have me laughing so hard right now. I can't even imagine the poor customers who got those.

March 1, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArleneMarie

Oh, these comments! I’m trying to laugh discreetly as I ride the bus after work. You all are great, I needed to laugh today! :)

March 1, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I'm not picturing the swirly things as legs - I see ARMS!

March 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

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