Er Mah Gourd!

Eek! I think I’ve forgotten to mention this year what is possibly the most popular indicator of Fall - you know, the one you see in every coffee shop, restaurant, and bakery across the nation.

Yep, I'm talking about that ubiquitous Fall flavor:

...Poop brûlée

Kidding, kidding. We all know the actual flavor of Fall is pumpkin:

...with poop on top.

Or on the side!

Or just washed down the edges.

Or whatever is happening here.

And when bakers aren't grossing us out with log-a-riffic "stem" action on their pumpkin cakes, they're busy gleefully spitting in the eye of Mother Nature:

I can just imagine them dramatically twirling their mustachios now:

 "Take THAT, nature, with your natural shapes, and your natural colors, and your sickening lack of spikes and crappy silly string. HA. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAA!!"

"Oh, and I always wanted my pumpkins to have a sphincter, so there."

Now, you might be questioning whether that is actually supposed to be a pumpkin.

First of all, NEVER QUESTION THE JEN.

Lest she speak of herself in the third person.

And second of all, of COURSE it's a pumpkin.

Can't you see that it's orange? And green? And brown? 

 WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE PUMPKIN EATERS?

Ah. 

Well, don't you worry; the turkey cakes are coming.

Thanks to Carol W., Rheanne K., Dawn R., Brady, Julie P., Holley R., Jessica S., & Lisa S. for the excuse to type the following: Ermahgourd! Permpkins!

*****

P.S. Here's a great book for those of you with kids around the house this Thanksgiving:

How To Catch A Turkey

The illustrations are fantastic and it's especially fun to real aloud:

****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Shoo, Horns!

Are you tired of buying a special dessert every Thanksgiving, only to have your friends and family snarf it all down before you get a piece?

Then this year, why not buy:

The Cornucrapia
Leftovers Guaranteed!™

That's right, your local bakers have twisted the traditional "Horn of Plenty" into something MUCH less appetizing! Just choose from any of these exciting designs!

The Black Hole

The Stinky Slinky

The Mud Slide

The Twirly Turd

The Purge

The Litter of Runts

And that relentless best seller:

The Miserable Vomitous Mass

(or Humperdink, for short.)

Find yours at a local wreckery today!

Thanks to Kelly G., Sarah, Joanna C., Roni F., Jesse, Maureen S., and Dan W. for horning in on our Thanksgiving parade.

*****

For those of you with kids around the house this Thanksgiving, here's a fun family read:

How To Catch A Turkey

The illustrations are fantastic and it's especially fun to real aloud:

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: