Sumer Lovin'

So tell me, Wreckies, how are you enjoying your summer?

Sorry, I mean, "Sumer?"

Or is it "Sumeer?"

You know what, just to be safe, let's sell both versions.

And then make this one the store display, so everyone can see it:

I like to be happy, summetime.

Well, however you spell it, I hope you're taking this time to enjoy a little sun.

Or a large, red-eyed spider crawling out of your cake.

And that you're working on your tan:

Or dismembering Edward Cullen. (Hey bakers, where's the glitter?)

Of course, the only acceptable foot wear right now are flip-flops:

Emphasis on the "flops."

And every meal should end with a hefty slice of watermelon:

Preferably the seedless kind. Unless you're expecting...to be expecting.

(See what I did there?)

And since these are the lazy days of summer we're talking about, you should be taking lots of breaks:

Stickin' it to the man. Or in this case, the customer.

Maybe visit the pit of despair community swimming pool?

"Watch out, kids, I'm about to throw another one down."

Or just spend a few quiet evenings walking the beach, looking for seashells and/or body parts:

Who wants ribs?

Thanks to Cassie, Brian B., Molly S., Jill V., Tina, Jaemie G., Lindsay W., Elizabeth & AnneMarie, & Anony M. for the disarming finds.

*****

P.S. If you actually go to the beach, then clearly you need a mesh tote bag that's in such high demand they couldn't even get one for the photoshoot, and had to photoshop it in (badly) later:

Oversized Mesh Beach Bag

Oh yeah, bad Photoshop is how you know it's good. Well, that, and the 2,000+ 5-star ratings. Turns out this thing is actually pretty awesome, and also comes in blue, gray, or white. Grab yours before the manufacturer tries to snatch the last one up for a re-shoot.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Colorful Metaphors

Hello, and welcome to your virtual color therapy session! As you know, it's national color therapy month, so the results we get here today will be invaluable to researchers everywhere who need a good laugh.

Remember, this IS for posterity, so please, be honest.

How do these colors make you feel?

[scribbling on clipboard] Mmmhmmm, I see. And these?

I'm sorry, it's hard to transcribe those sounds exactly. Could you be more specific? And with less profanity? Thank you.

These next ones should inspire feelings of peace and tranquility. Take a look:

 On a scale of one to ten, how much less violent do you feel towards me now?

Excellent.

Does this next example generate the same kind of elation you normally experience while cleaning your ears with an extra long Q-tip?

Why, or why not?

And would you say that this next example makes you more or less likely to donate a vital organ to a total stranger?

Fascinating.

Now, I want you to stare at this next one while imagining your least favorite food:

Are you thinking of the food you hate most? Good. Now ... are you going to eat all of those chips? Because I forgot my wallet at home, and ... you know what, we can talk about this later.

And finally, lets try a little behavioral role play. I'm your executioner, and I have two types of rope to make a noose. Which of these options makes you feel happier?

Innnteresting.

Well, that's everything, so thank you for providing some truly startling results, test subject!

As a reward for successfully completing your therapy session, you get a cake with a beautiful, cheery rainbow. Enjoy.

Just kidding. The cake is, of course, a lie.

(And they said a color-blind baker could never do this job. HA.)

Thanks to Jaemi S., Sam L., Samantha, Katie M., Amanda B., Nicole, John L., & Katherine M. Now, go get some rest. After all, if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

*****

P.S. I went looking for "colorful therapy" things and ended up down an "LED mask" rabbit-hole. Any of you use one of these?

LED Skin Care Mask

The ad photos are clearly photoshopped, but some of the customer before-and-afters in the reviews are impressive, at least for acne and acne scarring. Mostly the photos are a creepy slideshow of glowing faces, though, which is kinda fun on its own. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: