My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.

Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.

'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:

This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?

Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:

Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.

Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.

Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!

*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.

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Reader Comments (192)

Friday's the big day, John! Of course we get the reference.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeni

The picture on the top of the first one is a dog, not a duck. Making the cake even more disturbing. Maybe this cake was served at the dog's wake?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

I'd better hear some slow clapping. Now back to reading the latest issue of the Quibbler.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

These remind me of my suprise (horror?) at recently entering a Christmas shop and finding shotgun shell wreaths. That light up. Classy.

And yes, I live in Texas. Big suprise, right?

Also, crossing fingers for some tinsel-horned Snorkacks in upcoming HP movie ;)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

How could you NOT get that reference? HP7.1 comes out THIS WEEK! Sheesh. Come ON.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeaceLoveMath

Tinsel-horned snorkacks. :-) Brilliant, although the cake is certainly not.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

In defense of the shotgun shells: There is a kit out there to make edible ammo out of fondant and quite frankly, you can't tell the difference between them and the real thing if you do it right.

However, that's the ONLY defending I'm doing on these cakes today....

Sharon's Edible Art

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

OMG I snorted while trying not to laugh out loud!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEryn

I do not usually comment on your posts, but I had to this time since I am a fellow Harry Potter geek and Luna is one of my favorite characters. I really enjoy how you slip all the references into your posts. You guys are really funny and I would like to see more videos like the one John and the other Jen did.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSasha

Ok new shirt suggestion -
"I want shotgun shells....and sprinkles!"

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lucy

Oh dear, where to begin.

Wreck #1: I can't believe you actually failed to mention that the picture is residing on what appears to be a stack of poo. I mean, really? It's textured and everything.

Second Wreck: You know, if the topper were made of cake, I have to give kudos to the decorator. The work is really good, if not a bit, um, tasteless.

Third Wreck: What IS he doing to that turkey? Yikes!!

And I think I'll stop there. I've scared myself too much.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I love it! Entertaining as always!!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Luna Lovegood FINALLY joins Cake Wrecks

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Why, of course I got the snorkack reference! And I loved it too! As long as you don't start calling the "deer" daisies, I think we are all good!

Shelley in So. Illinois
(who is a hunting widow this week of her BIRTHDAY!)
(happens every year so I should be used to it, but, man, it is my BIRTHDAY!)

...and by hunting widow, I mean my husband is hunting, not that he was shot and killed while hunting.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Even my 4 year old daughter said "that's not even a deer!"

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer g

Thank you so much for my rolling-on-the-floor-can't-breathe-for-five-minutes laugh today. I had to get up early today and it's all muggy and icky out and was looking like it might be a bad day, but you just turned it into a B.A.D. day.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Hahaha, sneak Harry Potter reference! Beware the false Crumple Horn Snorkack, or it will blow your house to smithereens :)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa Jackson


November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM

I just love a "piece of me" makes me want to send it to my ex-husband!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

i thought it was "crumple-horned snorkack"

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

I love it when people slow clap in my general direction :) (Is there really anyone left in the world that wouldn't get that reference?)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenny

Is it just me, or is that one huge turkey?

Of course, the whole cake is a figurative turkey.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Ya know, the antler cake, minus the antlers, is actually very well made & may have ended up in Sunday Sweets pre-antlers. Also, I'm loving the Harry Potter reference!!! Cannot wait until this weekend!


November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What? I think I have some wrackspurts in my ears.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrittani

The hunters have finally been outed. I seldom slaff out loud, but the turkey one did it this morning.

Slaff: shout/laugh in shock/surprise/amusement

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yummmmmmm! Nothing like a heaping serving of lead on your grooms cake!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

@Alex - smacking my forehead. There's a dead duck in front of the dog on that cake. Look closer. lol

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hahaha :D great :D Love the books, but I hate the films. Luna is awesome, though - both in the books and the the films! That actress fits her almost perfectly!

Loving the HP referene, if you hadn't guessed (lol) :D


November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDragon-girl

Just what is he doing to that poor, defenseless turkey??? Is this now an X-rated site??? :-D

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I think the picture on the first cake is a dog, not a duck.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuliaKoponick

Please throw some slow-claps my way! I know my Luna Lovegood!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremilysandlin

That's it. From now on, any time I see a groom's cake with shotgun shells, I'm just going to assume that this is the subtle way to announce he knocked her up.

I know it's s'posed to reflect the groom's interests, or whatever, but I've yet to see one that doesn't make me go, "oh, please." It wouldn't be impossible to do something in a tasteful camouflage pattern and leave it at that, would it?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The turkey, hunter and your comment sent me over the edge. 'scuse me whilst I go wash my face....

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Yay slow clapping my way!

Also, I do not think those are antlers jammed in that cake - too many weird, nubbly spikes. And the color is off too...they look more like cockroach legs.
(Though I understand the confusion/possible attempt at what should look more like this:

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRen

That gun-shot-wound deer is disturbing, to say the least. And I wondered "wtf" about the diving flag before I read your commentary on it. What the heck?

(Why the slow clapping? I got the reference [I think the tinsel-horned snorkacks are probably harder to find, but prettier to look at, than the crumple-horned ones, just for the record], but got lost on the slow clapping.)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

They're releasing the movie for me, as it's my 40th birthday. And yes, I have the tickets for the midnight showing.

Did you show the picture to Mr Lovegood? Would have saved him a TON of money!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJedijson

I'm wiping tears from my eyes, laughing over these cakes. Why bullets and strawberries? What IS he doing to that turkey? The dog with the dead duck in his mouth... HOWLING with laughter. I mean, nothing says come and get it like that, right? HA HA HA HA

I love this site.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

@ Renny,
I'll admit to being in the group of people who didn't know the reference. No slow clap for me today :( Oh well, maybe tomorrow, right?

But the cakes were sad, disturbing, and hilarious, making this a great wreck day!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

OK, so here's the deal. I love this blog. I think you guys are hilarious and the cakes are horrible (except on Sunday, of course). But I rarely literally laugh out loud. Until I saw that otherwise normal blue cake with real horns jammed into the top. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. I'm still chortling. I'm going to be laughing about that all day. Thanks!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

LOL too funny! The one with the antlers sticking out would be a really pretty cake...without the antlers on it. And wow to the people that aren't getting the first cake. You know you can click on the picture and make it bigger right? There's clearly a dead duck in front/to the side of the dog. I swear, I think some people just read this blog to point out "flaws" in the blog post. Anyways...awesome post as usual!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamesterCK

Oh, dear god - that was horrifying, hilarious, and wrong on SOOO many levels. I almost snorted water up my nose at the 'there's a dead deer and a diving flag in the middle of the woods. How did it die' comment.
Awesome. Just awesome.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin Kelly

I love the alive one staring out from the cake. It is awesome.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I'm reading book 7 again right now! Well, not RIGHT now, because I'm typing, but you get the general idea. Oh, and I think it looks more like an Erumpent horn, don't you? =P

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

So people were grossed out by yesterday's "food" cakes but find dead animals and ammunition amusing? Seriously??

That is incredibly disturbing. And disgusting. And definitely NOT amusing.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Loved this. Simply loved it. :) Thanks!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKB

Have you seen Earlene's cakes?

They put actual turkey feathers on their shotgun shell and choco covered strawberry cakes.


November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbigbadteddy

Not cool, man. Not cool. LOL

and the diving flag? What the hey?! really, i'd like to know. ha ha

but shot gun shells and sprinkles would be the best... edible shot! mmmmm...
- - - - - - -
now i must admit, that i'd never heard of "groom's cake" until i started reading CW two years ago. so i'm going to ask what's been weighing on me. is it an American thing? English? is it a new ? and why?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknine22

Is it just me or did anyones else notice wreck #1 is on the floor. Classy, classy......

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this is turning into another epcot, both with the dog AND duck in the first picture (look harder, people!) and with crumple turned into tinsel b/c of the pipe cleaners......guess some people just don't get it.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbecca

The last two days have made my stomach turn. I don't usually get so queasy looking at cakes. I keep asking, These are cakes? Seriously? Why?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherron

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