My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Star Wars: The Next Generation

Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!

This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?

Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.

Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.


("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])



Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:

"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."



In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.



RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:




Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.



But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.

Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:



Accio pixie power!!


But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.


Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke:

And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.




Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.


UPDATE from Jen:
Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!

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Reader Comments (232)

Oh, this so could have had Epcot written all over it except geeky fans have a sense of humor!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Oh, wow. As someone else said... the content entirely belies the idea that the author of this post has NEVER SEEN STAR WARS. Got to love the mish-mash of different geekery that came out of it, though. :D

As for the last cake... I was wondering what a simple panda love cake was doing in this post. And then I realized.

It's not a panda. It's an EWOK. Cue demonic laughter.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh please turn this into an animated or live action short. AMAZING. I'm really glad Scully and Mulder showed up - thank god.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeezus

If I got all the references they are: Star wars
Terminator, Battle star Galactica, Firefly, Hitchhiker guide to the galaxy, Spiderman, muppets, Star Trek, Tinkerbell, Harry potter, Ghost busters, Princess bride, Xfile, Superman, Lost. Major Geek Award. Well done!


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

THE best post ever!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I...I think you just exploded my head.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

I so want to play checkers with cupcakes now (combination of the checkers cake and the cupcakes with R2D2, Spiderman, and Darth Vader)!

Jen's totally going to make you watch Star Wars, though. Never admit to that sort of thing on the internet. It'll come back to haunt you.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

This is one of those posts in which the commentary is funnier than the cakes are. You have the helm, Number 1.

WV: zinness. Zen-ness, translated by Cake Wrecks

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

The Darth/Tinkerbell cake is actually pretty awesome, and only kind of wrecky IMO. Seems like the kind of cake my 5-year-old daughter would specially request.

And the (First!) was my favorite part of the post, probably the most subtle Star Wars reference in the whole deal.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJared Crookston

This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read on this site. Good work!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I laughed harder at this post than any other. Well done.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicky

How could the commentary be better than the cakes. Oh yeah, silly me-CAKE WRECKS.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

um... wow. I think someone needs some more sleep... I'm not saying who, I'm just saying

nice by the way :)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterschmaimz

RD2D, CP3O, and Spiderman follow Luke to the planet Vogon.

Would it be too, too geeky to point out that the Vogons are from the planet Vogsphere?


Yeah, I thought so, too.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarensb

Now that is a great post! And the cakes all go together so well!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

Best. Post. Ever.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJHill

Best. Post. EVER!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMooseGirl

This is an instant classic! Brilliant!!! I agree - you are my hero.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToni W.

This made me laugh so hard that I'm so glad my boss isn't in yet, or I'd probably be in real trouble! Post made of the most WIN ever!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterphantomessj

This post ranks right up there with Falker Satherhood. :)

Once again, Cake Wrecks makes my day!


Kim in Id

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bwahahahahaha!! This was one time when crossing the streams was great!
(Love, so love the Tinkerbell/Darth Vadar cake!)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Awesome, awesome post!!! Tinkerbell and Vader together at last!! HA HA HA HA

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Everytime I need a laugh, I *know*, with out a doubt, you two will come through.


Thank you for all the giggles you've brought into my life this year! Looking forward to many, MANY more!!!

And John, May The Force Be With You! ;)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Mom

LMAO sooo awesome!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrude

But why is there a "B" next to Vader on the Tink cake???

Thank you for making me snort-laugh this morning!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Way. Too. Stinking. Hilarious! I think I counted about 18 references (some may be stretching it):
Star Trek
Star Wars
Lord of Destruction (?)
Die Hard (Hans? Hans Grueber)
Battlestar Galactica
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
The Muppet Show or any movie
Peterpan or any Tinkerbell movie
Harry Potter
Princess Bride
X Files

Do I win a bozo button today? :-D

wv: imonfur: Luke singing Bruce Springsteen song to Leia..."Whoh-oh-oh imonfur"


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

OMG I am crying I'm laughing so hard. This is the funniest post I've ever read!!!! Thank you Jen for making Jen write this post!!!!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

Never has anything been so wrong, and yet so right. XD

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin W.

Wait--I thought you said you'd never seen Star Wars? How did you know the story so well then? There's no way you could have known about the connection between Tinkerbell and Darth Vader without seeing all those movies.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Tinkerbell cake reminds me of strange requests kids give! The little girl probably couldn't choose between a Tink cake, or Vader, and why should she!
I had a little boy once ask for a Lego Batman/Star Wars cake because he liked both - he was specific though, Batman had to fight Vader, and Joker had to fight Luke. Kids are awesome.

Also, this post is awesome. Beyond awesome, really! Number One, I think you are an over-achiever lol

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

So what I found to be the funniest thing is that I actually recognized all the different "additions" to the Star Wars story :) My husband would be so proud ! Thoroughly enjoyed that one.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

What! Tinkerbell AND Vader on a the same time. I totally want that cake for my Birthday. Also I want that awesome Leia hat.

Yup. Best. Post. Evah.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrsblocko

So, Vader and Tink weren't the best drawn, but if you have a little girl who loves Tink and Vader, then the cake really isn't a wreck. But, if it's not what you ordered... That's a different story. Anyway, great post! I loved it!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

This is, by far, the best post to date. I loved it; it was absolutely hilarious. Then, to cap it off, the last cookie declares its love for me, on my birthday! A great start for my day. Thanks

- Jill (a.k.a. MariaTeresa)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I. AM. DYING. This may be the funniest post in the history of the internet. But let me check that with Dan Quayle first.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelvira

So fun! Firefly references always make me smile. And I may be able to explain that Tinkerbell/Vader cake. We had a Star Wars/Disney princesses/shark/Cinco de Mayo themed birthday party last year. Apparently parent sanity is not a good reason to choose only one birthday party theme at a time. And I couldn't come up with another reason.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaryl

ok i must say that i think that his was one of the most awesome posts ever!(and you've had a lot) even my husband kinda chuckled!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAudra,Tony,and Erinn

Vader and Tinkerbell?

"I find your lack of faith in fairies *disturbing*!"

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTechyDad

Danger Will Crusher, danger!
You forgot the part where they blew up the Epcot Center just beffore it fired on the ragtag, fugitive fleet.

But seriously, I want to liquefy this story and pour the awesome on my breakfast cereal!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

Harry Potter, The Princess Bride AND LOST, all in one post!!! I thought I loved you before, but now, well now it's just something else entirely. I'm just not sure what to call it. Scrumdiddlyumptious works for now.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

Oh come on, surely you could have crammed a few more geek references in there! Loved it.
So Say We All.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA and M's Mom

Hey, Jen... there's an article about you in awesome!!

Congrats and keep up the good work!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

I can't believe no one else caught this one glaring error: it's Spider-Man. For shame.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

This was great! Made me laugh out loud!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sarah's Vader/Tinkerbell cake remind me of the cake I made when my son was 3. I had plastic Star Wars characters, and I placed them all on the Yellow Brick Road, with Emerald City in the background. It was *perfect* for him.

He just turned 18, and not too long ago, I was telling him how much I loved that cake, and how well it suited him, and he said, "Hmmm... it still would!"

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdharmamama


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlisha Rene'

so funny! I've been missing reading my cake wreck posts - even my husband mentioned we haven't checked in lately. This one rocks! Thanks for making me chuckle. I don't know what was funnier - tinkerbell with vader, the checkerboard or the addition of 'mulder' into the melee. i'm gonna follow now so I don't miss anymore adventures.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarahVee

Glad to see that Tink kept her 'dark side' at bay and managed to cover up this time.

Yoda, you're so... tall! Must be a 'before' image from the prequel, 'Yoda vs. the Lightsaber'.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The Ending! LOL!! Love it Number 1!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBex

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