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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb092010

Conditions Froggy

I know a lot of people like frogs. Heck, even I think the bright green fella who hangs out on my front door is adorable. (Until he starts jumping in my direction, of course. Then he turns into a slimy hell beast who leaves me no choice but to climb shrieking onto John's shoulders to escape the "hop zone.")

Still, I don't really get the whole frog cake thing. Other than my front door buddy, the only other close encounter I've had with a frog was in 7th grade biology, and that one smelled anything but appetizing.

You could argue, and rightly so, that cakes in the shapes of animals are nothing new, so why am I picking on frog cakes?

Well, geez, man, just look at this thing:

He's mean, green, shaped like a tureen, and lookin' mighty PO'd about his toe issues.

(In his defense, those are some serious toe issues. Ouch.)

How's this for a scrumptious specimen?

Wow. PETA could use this guy in an anti-frog legs campaign. How could you possibly cut into that poor, terrified visage? Leave him and his splatted fly tongue alone, you heartless cake murderer!

At least this guy looks happy:

I'm guessing he's proud as punch of that funny little limb beard. Or has his chin sprung a leak?

Here's a sultry little number in honor of Valentine's Day:

This amorous amphibian is ready for romance!
And maybe some Visine, since her eyeballs appear to be on fire.

Also for Valentine's, here's a princely gem:

Or should I say princely jewels? (HEYO!!)

Bakers, seriously, I'm all for maximizing your cookie cutter designs, but using that cutter for frogs is, frankly, quite a leap.

Alden M., Casie G., Sharon P., Lauren M., Vanessa H., & Lynelle R., you think it's cold in that display case? Just wondering.

- Related Wreckage: So What Happens If You EAT the Frog?

« From the Bottom of My...Bottom | Main | European! »

Reader Comments (124)

The nineth, yesterday was my birthday, and I just wanted to say thanks. I'm a freshman in college and I am no a devote wreckie. As is my roomie. We have bonded over horrifically misformed and misinformed confections. And yesterday when she turned up with a copy of your book and a cake with a carrot jockie on it I knew I would have to say thanks. So Thankyou Jen, for making my life all that much brighter, and my college experience just that much easier. You're the best!
Emily

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatwithabook

You know what would be even more hilarious, if the person looked at the cookie cutter and thought " what cute frog cookie cutters!"

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEva

I am really thinking those cookies are probably a cartoon mouse cookie cutter used upside down. If you look at it, it almost looks like Jerry from Tom and Jerry.

wv: dingauri - a dingauri ate my frog cookies!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

As I was looking at this post my 16 yr old son walked by. He asked me to scroll back to the second frog & then he burst out laughing. He said it look just like a big green blob he used to have nightmares about when he was small. He had fears of it for years - really creepy! ;)

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Yeees! The frog cookies!! I took that picture in Palos Park Valentine's day 2009 at the Plush Horse. It's an ice cream parlor. Obviously cookies are not their strong point.
Thanks for posting it!

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynelle R

The third frog looks like Jabba the Hut's baby...

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

The first one reminded me of Gollum for some reason.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersiltedrepose

I've heard that frogs are considered good luck in some cultures, but that is obviously not the case here.

And I have to admit I kind of want to try one of those happy froggy cookies >.>

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

OH Jeez! Thank you so much. I did, actually, laugh out loud! My eyes are watering. I needed that.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstpaulsc

my six year old said about the lollipops--"they're supposed to be mommies and their hearts are sticking out and you can see their boobies!"

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo

ok, and my other six year old said the first one looks like a germ.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo

my. those little frog cookies are cute, but why do they have such fat legs? *innocent look*

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i dunno. that second to last frog looks more like a dragon to me. especially since he has claws. how many cake rounds did they use to make him?

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just goes to show how trusting and gullible one must be to believe that any of those frogs might turn into your Prince Charming!

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Boob nazi and Burton, I'm with you. Why would you want to cut into a fermaldehyde stinking slimy frog only to find frog guts, when you can cut into a creepy green cake and find--buttercream! cake! strawberries!

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVE the colon cake! hahahahaha

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAggie the jaded

In South Australia, Australia we consider the Balfour's frog cake
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Balfours-Frog-Cakes/32910190309
to be a state icon. Althoug if you observe from this fb page, the image can sometimes be misconstrued. Anyway this cake has been popular in our state for the past 80 odd years...and yet, it really looks nothing like a frog of any description. Tastes good though.
http://www.balfours.com.au/smallcakes.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frog_cake

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeanieofoz

I have had a horrible day, I just have to say thank you for the Frog post! I was laughing so hard I am crying and I really needed a good laugh! Thank you to all of the amazing wreckers out there who just made my day a whole ton better!

February 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHilary & Graysen

I think that last once was from a lobster cookie cutter. Which everyone needs, by the way. Lobsters RULE!

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#2 isn't a frog. It's the salt creature from The Man Trap.

May 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWayne

huwaw...
i like all your frog.
i wanna have one of them. :D

May 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergitha

This is still one of my favorite posts. That limb beard gag makes me laugh so hard!

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM. Muenich

The only kind of frog I like, is when thier legs are cooked like a chicken leg. I have to blame my grandpa for this. He made me try frog legs. I have to say, I don't regret it. They're actually pretty good if you prepare them right.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My toes started to hurt looking at the first cake. And those cookies......... Oh, jeez....... Ooookaaayyy............... |:-l

October 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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