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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar092010

Wedding Day Jitterbugs

Uh, guys? Somebody might want to call an exterminator.

Why?

Well, you know those "crawfish" on the wedding cake?

(Photo taken down at the request of the baker. Please enjoy this lovely photo of Epcot.)

Yeeeah. They're looking a bit more like cockroaches.


Amanda L., those cockroaches look a lot more like cockroaches than any other cockroaches I have ever seen.

Cockroachescockroachescockroaches....

Related Wreckage: Wedding Day Advice

« To Be Read By Rod Serling | Main | The Groom's Revenge »

Reader Comments (223)

The fact that they look like cockroaches is only half the problem. The question still remains: Lobsters? On a wedding cake??

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori-Anne

Cockroaches? Crawfish? They look more like Epcot to me.

Given this baker's arthropod identification skills, I'm not accepting any invitations to her/his house for crawfish etouffee.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Jen how do you stand it?? It's driving me nuts just reading all the commenters who didn't get your funny COCKroach reference, or who got it but didn't realize you wrote the pun on purpose. Aaaaaahhhh!

And for the record this is the grossest wedding cake I've ever seen in my entire life.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Claire

Without reading the description, I called them penis bugs. >.>;;

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

cockroachescockroachescockroaches

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfluid_static

I was thinking the shape of those "cockroaches" looked like something else entirely.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkisekileia

Uhh...roaches? because I'm getting more "penis." "Penises with lots of legs."

either way - not wedding appropriate!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterevilsciencechick

That front one is even missing a leg on the left side. eeeeeewwwwwww.....

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

I came in to post what a lot of others posted! Glad I am not the only one who did NOT think 'cockroaches' when I saw that cake! lolol....

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaye

hahahaha. thumbs up for epic innuendo. =)

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLacy

Jane said: Before you ever think that Jen missed something that you see, read her post again, and remind yourself how clever and observant and funny she is. Do that always.

This statement should really go on the home page.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira

Didn't Adam Sandler have a sketch about this subject?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMim

It's a cock lobster!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Normally I'm willing to ignore the fact that a cake is ugly and eat it anyway. Erm, but not this one. Lost my appetite.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

Well, they're either sadly abnormal penises - and, just in case they were modelled 'from life', the bride needs to rush her hubbie-to-be to the nearest clinic/hospital/emergency room for a thorough check-up - OR they're Klingon Kondoms....

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

did someone say C-O-C-K roaches?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah...this one is a bit phallic. Creepy-crawly element is added, but it's phallic.

Mandy

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Really?! Why do so many people miss the purposeful innuendo?! A part of me is dying every time someone makes the joke that Jen already made in the post!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCome On, People!!!

Are you sure those are cockroaches - I was thinking they kinda looked like, well, you know. Maybe the groom was a manager at Red Lobster. Maybe a lobster boat captain. Maybe a successful implantee.

wv - thear
Thear!s got to be some kind of logical explanation for that Wreckerator!s cocky attitude!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

"That cake looks beautiful. Can we make it for my birthday?" ...unsolicited opinion from my almost-four year-old daughter just now. Eye of the beholder, I guess!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL, oh my god, you wrote cockroaches about 50 times in the post and people still don't get it. I guess next time you'll have to write "PENIS!" in blinking, red letters.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

Anna Claire sez:
"...And for the record this is the grossest wedding cake I've ever seen in my entire life."

Ah, you haven't been reading this site for very long, have you, Anna Claire?
Welcome aboard!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I'm afraid you're going to have to rethink your delightful commentary and amazing puns in the future to avoid the kind of migraine I can only imagine would result from self-congratulatory, clueless would-be cleverness in the comments. So, for today's post, for example, instead of referring to "cockroaches" to make your point understood, you could post "HEY GUYZ THESE LOOK LIKE PENISES. WITH LEGZ. ROTFL."

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, when I first saw that I thought it looked like a hairy peen. Mmmm, yummy.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mira said: Jane said: Before you ever think that Jen missed something that you see, read her post again, and remind yourself how clever and observant and funny she is. Do that always.

This statement should really go on the home page.

SO TRUEEEEE!
I can't stand all of these non-joke-getters!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We put the (disgusting, bloody?) cock in cockroaches. That is epic cake fail if I ever saw it.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Take the first part of the word of cockroach, then add blood and hair. GROSS

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMjones

I'm like, "She totally missed the fact that
those look like...ooohhhhh. I get it now!"

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Great post, Jen...but I have to say you weren't very subtle...and yet people still arent' getting it!!? *sigh*

Oh, and good luck to John in your moderating duties today. :-)

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Everyone knows crawfish have pointy little heads with long feelers not bulbously obscene heads. Must be cockroaches.

wv rerstry On their first anna-rerstry the couple will look back and say, "why did we think it was a good idea to put crawdaddies on the wedding cake!"

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

I'm so sad I didn't have hairy, red, clawed penises on my wedding cake. My marriage is doomed.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

By the way, why's the wedding cake on the floor?
Maybe that's why it has bugs crawling on it ...

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

someone in the bakery failed to convince the bride to reconsider her choice or decorations... and then failed the execution. YIKES! Where is common sense when these things happen?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoira Cooper

... Who would want crawfish on a wedding cake? No. Really. Who and why?

But yes.. COCKroach in certainly what I'm seeing here.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAi

That had to be a 'cockblocker' of a cake!! I couldn't have any romantic thoughts after seeing that atrocity!!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErika

I think it was supposed to be the cake for the stagette!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

Well, from across the room, they could be ants...if that makes anyone feel better...

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

with emphasis on COCK?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonday

Definitely dicks with shine lines emanating from them. Radioactive dicks.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAntikythera

take off the legs, people! Those aren't cockroaches

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kathleen @ 3:35 - YES. Now I have the B-52's in my head, warbling "cock lo-haaaw-obster!"

Also: These comments make me feel better about myself. Bless.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabi

I hope you two went out for margaritas or something tonight. God knows you earned it today! :)

--kate

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, so I understand the meaning behind "epcot" but could someone point me in the direction of the post it refers to? I must have missed it.

Oh, and people really should scan the comments before posting their own. If you're trying to be clever, it's best to make sure someone hasn't already said your clever thing.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They look like a weird combination of hairy penises and steaming poops! Wow!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNewMovieProject

Today is the first time I ever thought of "cockroach" as a compound word. Part this, part that-- and the two parts together mean eternal love, no doubt about it. Turns out that a severed toe or a dead deer have nothing on this.

*wipes away tears*

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

I haven't read through all the comments (so please don't go Epcot on me;) but on first glance I'm thinking that is one HELL of a fertility symbol! All those cockroaches look more like penises with legs (or maybe I just need a cold shower LOL):-P

PS oddly enough my word verification is "cemen" ROFLMAO

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

I'm a little concerned these look a little more like radioactive male genetalia!!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

They look more like penises!! YIKES!!!!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMz. Cat

Wow! I've read your blog start to finish more than once ... and I think this is the yuckiest cake of all. I mean, some of the other penis & poo cakes were pretty gross, but this one is the worst because there is the greatest discrepancy between how beautiful it should be and how obscene it is...

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Jen, really. All you had to do was a wee bit of editing: COCKroaches. . . and your fans might simmer down. Are you sure it was a wedding cake and not an "engorgement" cake? Just askin

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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