Wednesday
Jan192011
Sick as a Dog
January 19, 2011 We've learned from a recent survey that 76% of our readers get their news exclusively from Cake Wrecks and the Fun Facts on the underside of Snapple lids. So today, in Part 12 of our medical news series, "Congrats! You're Contagious!," we'll be teaching you how to recognize an onset of Rectal Arthritic Bubonic Inner Ear Scurvy (aka "R.A.B.I.E.S.") in your furry friend.
Stage 1: Upon initial infection, your dog may show unusual signs of perkiness and energy.
Sparky may even rummage through your holiday scrunchie drawer and attempt to accessorize.
Stage 2: Several minutes after becoming infected, your dog may appear nervous or scared.
Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common.
Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common.
Stage VII: R.A.B.I.E.S. will cause Munchkin's eyes to water and turn a slightly pinkish hue:
Also known as the "Tammy Faye Baker Phase."
Stage 6: Foaming at the mouth:
After eating poo.
Stage 6: Lashing out with erratic behavior.
Also known as the "Your Kid's Gonna Need Therapy" phase.
Stage F: Dry, patchy skin.
Accompanied by KISS makeup and a wang beard.
Stage 9: Inexplicable weight gain.
And loss of limbs and neck.
So be sure to keep an eye out for any signs that your little Gnarls Barkley may be infected. After all, you don't want to experience the final phase of the R.A.B.I.E.S. virus:
Thanks to Megan, Anna M., Katy P., Angela L., Jason, Stephanie A., Ashley J., Tiffany H., and Alexander B. Now stay tuned for parts 13 and 14 in our medical series: "Lady Lumps," and "Chlamydi-huh?"
Reader Comments (86)
"Kiss makeup and a wang beard."
biggest LOL of my month. thank you!
David: apparently it is a Facebook wide issue as I had the same problem when I tried to do the share. I noted that they were blocking a popular and well loved blog, that produced a NYT Best Selling book :-P
You have shown me yet again that it is a BAD IDEA to read Cake Wrecks during class. I'm cracking up in the back row and my professor is very confused.C
Protonic reversal = "the fluid consistency of snot"
Yeah, that IS bad!
This blog is amazing, the dog cake look so yummy on the one side, on the other it would be ashame to wreck suck a beautiful thing....
I don't think the Tammy Faye Baker cake is Tammy. I think it's an OOKPIK (look that up from the 70's)
The 2nd Stage 6 dog (the one being held up in a car) is actually pretty good. The tongue is very realistic and the rest of it isn't bad. The photo is from a bad angle so you can't see the added dimension of the snout. I didn't make this cake or anything, the tongue caught my eye so I had to look closer.
Ah, there' nothing so cheery as a canine corpse cake.
Why, why, why, oh why would someone want a cake in the shape of their beloved pet? Eating a pet like cake seems pretty sick to me. Of course, these poor "dogs" might be a little safer. But still, couldn't those wreckers do better by man's best friend?
I'm just glad my daughter didn't see the potatopus cake, she would want one as a pet- after all it is pink.
They are amazing cakes!
Stage 6 just might give me nightmares. As for Stage 7 sadly I'm suffering a little bit of that right now but not as bad as that poor pooch.
They don't even look like dogs! :)
Oh, no! Total protonic reversal! When we watched A Very Potter Musical, I was probably the only one of my friends that knew that total protonic reversal was a reference to Ghostbusters :)
You can add me to the list of those who remember Tammy Faye and that HAS to be her dog!
plus I love the 6, F, 9 numbering! This blog always makes my day better :)
Aww, now I thought stage 6 was kinda cute.
My face, looking at these cakes
D: D:
no sleep for me tonight
"wang beard"
O.M.G.
can't breath for laughing!!!!
-Barbara Anne
Anonymous (January 19, 2011 5:08 PM) said...
"Ah, there' nothing so cheery as a canine corpse cake."
LOL! Canine Corpse Cake, the new CCC!
Yet another fantastic post! These cakes look amazing!! You really inspire me!
My dog's name is Sparky, and he probably would rummage through my accessory drawer. Though he probably would just eat the scrunchie (if I had one - i haven't had a scrunchie since the early 90's)...
Oh those poor little..er cake things. Dogs you say? I see only scary critters that want to eat me lol.
The second to last cake sorta reminds me of our Shi Tzu, Biscuit. But, you know, BEFORE his yucky liver disease. And his passing on to a greater place. And he was white and yellow. And had his neck and legs. and he wasn't immensly obese.
[:(]
-B
Eating poo, wang beard, and total protonic reversal? Another home run today!
Though I will now have to watch my dogs to make sure it doesn't happen.
The white dog with brown on the muzzle and around the eyes looks very much like my Bichon Frise. Tear staining and some staining around the mouth that turns the fur a brownish color is actually very normal for the breed. I actually think the cake is fairly well done, knowing an loving a dog that looks like that ;).
76% of your readers get their news from Cake Wrecks? Statistics are easier if you make them up as you go!!!!!
The haunted look in the eyes of the second one will stay with me a long time
Are these from the rare breed Wrecksican Sprinkleless?
Between the random Barenaked Ladies reference and the spot-on cat dialect, this is my favorite post you've done in a while. Thanks!
Just frickin' awesome, guys! You posted these on our Matriarch Dog's 13th bday! For which the whole pack shared a white cake, white frosting + coconut cake! Yes! Seriously! What?!! - if we bought her a dog cake we wouldn't get any cake. What kind of bday party is that?!
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to our new teenager, Jubilee and off I go to swipe the last piece of cake before MY Jen gets home... NOM NOM NOM....
Clumber, and you ain't seen a hyper dog until you've seen a whitecake + frosting dog!
I had a really stressful day, and this made me put it out of mind. You guys are the best, as always. Thanks
I believe the Wang Beard is actually a Wang Tongue. And now I can't get "Every body have fun tonight; every body wang tongue tonight" out of my head. Curses!
- Kate
HaveN'T you always wanted a mon-KEY?? BNL and Ghostbusters in the same post...way to make a lousy morning better.
kiss makeup and a wang beard - I am dying, hahahaaaaa!!!
Anyone notice how many times the baker had to croos out and restart the name s/he was on the second cake? I guess that they tried to cover it up with the lie, "It's grass".
-B
oh...ohgod... i was laughing so hard i had to get up in the middle of these to pee. ohhh god. why? really..i mean..WHY?