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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan192011

Sick as a Dog

We've learned from a recent survey that 76% of our readers get their news exclusively from Cake Wrecks and the Fun Facts on the underside of Snapple lids. So today, in Part 12 of our medical news series, "Congrats! You're Contagious!," we'll be teaching you how to recognize an onset of Rectal Arthritic Bubonic Inner Ear Scurvy (aka "R.A.B.I.E.S.") in your furry friend.

Stage 1: Upon initial infection, your dog may show unusual signs of perkiness and energy.

 

Sparky may even rummage through your holiday scrunchie drawer and attempt to accessorize.

 

 

Stage 2: Several minutes after becoming infected, your dog may appear nervous or scared.

 

 

Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common.

 

 

Stage VII: R.A.B.I.E.S. will cause Munchkin's eyes to water and turn a slightly pinkish hue:

 

Also known as the "Tammy Faye Baker Phase."


Stage 6: Foaming at the mouth:

 

 

After eating poo.


Stage 6: Lashing out with erratic behavior.

 

 

Also known as the "Your Kid's Gonna Need Therapy" phase.

 

 

Stage F: Dry, patchy skin.

Accompanied by KISS makeup and a wang beard.

 

 

Stage 9: Inexplicable weight gain.

 

 

And loss of limbs and neck.

 

 

So be sure to keep an eye out for any signs that your little Gnarls Barkley may be infected. After all, you don't want to experience the final phase of the R.A.B.I.E.S. virus:

 

 

Total protonic reversal.

 

Yeah. That's bad.



Thanks to Megan, Anna M., Katy P., Angela L., Jason, Stephanie A., Ashley J., Tiffany H., and Alexander B. Now stay tuned for parts 13 and 14 in our medical series: "Lady Lumps," and "Chlamydi-huh?"

 

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Reader Comments (86)

"Kiss makeup and a wang beard."

biggest LOL of my month. thank you!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Beaudoins

David: apparently it is a Facebook wide issue as I had the same problem when I tried to do the share. I noted that they were blocking a popular and well loved blog, that produced a NYT Best Selling book :-P

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercollectonian

You have shown me yet again that it is a BAD IDEA to read Cake Wrecks during class. I'm cracking up in the back row and my professor is very confused.C

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarynSKA

Protonic reversal = "the fluid consistency of snot"

Yeah, that IS bad!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

This blog is amazing, the dog cake look so yummy on the one side, on the other it would be ashame to wreck suck a beautiful thing....

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWibesh

I don't think the Tammy Faye Baker cake is Tammy. I think it's an OOKPIK (look that up from the 70's)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

The 2nd Stage 6 dog (the one being held up in a car) is actually pretty good. The tongue is very realistic and the rest of it isn't bad. The photo is from a bad angle so you can't see the added dimension of the snout. I didn't make this cake or anything, the tongue caught my eye so I had to look closer.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

Ah, there' nothing so cheery as a canine corpse cake.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why, why, why, oh why would someone want a cake in the shape of their beloved pet? Eating a pet like cake seems pretty sick to me. Of course, these poor "dogs" might be a little safer. But still, couldn't those wreckers do better by man's best friend?
I'm just glad my daughter didn't see the potatopus cake, she would want one as a pet- after all it is pink.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They are amazing cakes!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNick

Stage 6 just might give me nightmares. As for Stage 7 sadly I'm suffering a little bit of that right now but not as bad as that poor pooch.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

They don't even look like dogs! :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

Oh, no! Total protonic reversal! When we watched A Very Potter Musical, I was probably the only one of my friends that knew that total protonic reversal was a reference to Ghostbusters :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Helen

You can add me to the list of those who remember Tammy Faye and that HAS to be her dog!

plus I love the 6, F, 9 numbering! This blog always makes my day better :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

Aww, now I thought stage 6 was kinda cute.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

My face, looking at these cakes

D: D:

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

no sleep for me tonight

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKoli

"wang beard"

O.M.G.
can't breath for laughing!!!!

-Barbara Anne

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous (January 19, 2011 5:08 PM) said...
"Ah, there' nothing so cheery as a canine corpse cake."

LOL! Canine Corpse Cake, the new CCC!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yet another fantastic post! These cakes look amazing!! You really inspire me!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMousse Cakes

My dog's name is Sparky, and he probably would rummage through my accessory drawer. Though he probably would just eat the scrunchie (if I had one - i haven't had a scrunchie since the early 90's)...

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRita

Oh those poor little..er cake things. Dogs you say? I see only scary critters that want to eat me lol.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The second to last cake sorta reminds me of our Shi Tzu, Biscuit. But, you know, BEFORE his yucky liver disease. And his passing on to a greater place. And he was white and yellow. And had his neck and legs. and he wasn't immensly obese.
[:(]
-B

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Eating poo, wang beard, and total protonic reversal? Another home run today!

Though I will now have to watch my dogs to make sure it doesn't happen.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

The white dog with brown on the muzzle and around the eyes looks very much like my Bichon Frise. Tear staining and some staining around the mouth that turns the fur a brownish color is actually very normal for the breed. I actually think the cake is fairly well done, knowing an loving a dog that looks like that ;).

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

76% of your readers get their news from Cake Wrecks? Statistics are easier if you make them up as you go!!!!!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The haunted look in the eyes of the second one will stay with me a long time

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

Are these from the rare breed Wrecksican Sprinkleless?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteraimee

Between the random Barenaked Ladies reference and the spot-on cat dialect, this is my favorite post you've done in a while. Thanks!

Just frickin' awesome, guys! You posted these on our Matriarch Dog's 13th bday! For which the whole pack shared a white cake, white frosting + coconut cake! Yes! Seriously! What?!! - if we bought her a dog cake we wouldn't get any cake. What kind of bday party is that?!
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to our new teenager, Jubilee and off I go to swipe the last piece of cake before MY Jen gets home... NOM NOM NOM....

Clumber, and you ain't seen a hyper dog until you've seen a whitecake + frosting dog!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy,

I had a really stressful day, and this made me put it out of mind. You guys are the best, as always. Thanks

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I believe the Wang Beard is actually a Wang Tongue. And now I can't get "Every body have fun tonight; every body wang tongue tonight" out of my head. Curses!

- Kate

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HaveN'T you always wanted a mon-KEY?? BNL and Ghostbusters in the same post...way to make a lousy morning better.

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShawnette

kiss makeup and a wang beard - I am dying, hahahaaaaa!!!

January 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Anyone notice how many times the baker had to croos out and restart the name s/he was on the second cake? I guess that they tried to cover it up with the lie, "It's grass".
-B

January 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh...ohgod... i was laughing so hard i had to get up in the middle of these to pee. ohhh god. why? really..i mean..WHY?

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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