My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Warning: Weenie humor ahead! 


Anyone else think the Halloween cakes are getting kinda handsy this year?

No, no. I mean, it seems like the designs are getting a lot...fresher.




For example, some people might think these "pumpkins" represent huge...tracts of land:


Others might think it's a little chilly in here.


Hey, sure, bakers, just stick that candy corn anywhere:

 I'd say the bat was a nice touch, but I think the ghost might disagree.


And when it comes to pumpkin cookies, this bakery offers up some stiff competition:


I'm surprised that they'd erect such a dinky display.


And while that might seem like a hard act to follow, it turns out there's more than one bakery trying to get ahead:


Psst. Bakers. Here's a tip.

Also, I think your problem stems from a cockeyed decorator with a testy disposition getting a good-natured ribbing from the bakery staff.


Ben, Kristen Z., Bevin C., Petra R., Zack J., and Sara W., these cakes salute you.

Sorry about that.


HEY RICHMOND!!!  We'll see you at 7 pm!!!  WOOHOO!!!  

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Reader Comments (67)

It took me a minute just to get past the first one.

Once again, the commentary rose to the occasion.
Thank you.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Let's face it: We all know Halloween needed more jazz hands.

Now for that poor, little poltergeist. He went to all the trouble to tattoo "BOO" on his ghostly nether region just to keep the bats away from his "candy corn," and still, he is under attack. He deserves our sympathy, not our derision.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I appreciate that the wreckerators aren't discriminating in terms of gender when it comes to the pumpkins. (And that's a sentence I never thought I'd utter.)

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

Is that skeleton really climbing a... um... a... ??? Oh my!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKay W

Have you ever wanted a sweet Halloween treat, but none were ready? That’s why Cialis is introducing a new line of Halloween desserts, so you can respond to your Halloween craving only when it’s right for you. With no preservatives, Cialis desserts last up to 36 hours, so you can satisfy those cravings WHENEVER THE MOMENT IS RIGHT.

(Cialis desserts should only be eaten if you’re healthy enough for sporadic desserts. Diabetics should not eat Cialis desserts without a doctor’s supervision. Some designs may cause blindness, which was temporary in most subjects but could cause lasting damage in a small portion of the population. If your sweet craving lasts more than 4 hours, contact a baker immediately, as this may signify a need for a dessert that’s simply better made. If you have a craving for something stronger than sweets, we’d suggest you ditch the “his-and-her” bathtubs, for starters.)

Cialis desserts. Because when you’re ready for dessert, it should be ready for you.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Now show me on the gingerbread man where he touched you...

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDark Lord of Marketing

My daughter Olivia (you all remember her post about how belly cakes should be reserved for Halloween movies yesterday) now loves CakeWrecks and wants to know if there is a CakeWrecks for kids. (Ah, The Next Generation...) But this ain't it.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Hmmm...looks like bakers are hard up for good ideas.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Love, love, LOVE the last sentence. Perfect. And hilarious.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie Anon

I sure hope the Boo tattooed ghost isn't dealing with a vampire bat. A regular bat would be bad enough, but a vampire bat?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

Thanks, SuBee. I didn't realize that said "boo." I just thought it was an awful black icing squiggle representing I-don't-know-or-even-want-to-think-about-what . . . . Or hair.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Omg! I actually just stoped being a daybaker at the large chain that makes those pumpkin cookies! And they will all look like that in any of the stores you go into. That's so funny that I didn't notice the dirtiness of the cookies, I usually have my mind in the gutter!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMisty Dawn

Sharyn: Do you have to sit in a bathtub while eating Cialis Desserts?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@ Sharyn: You're funny!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCC

I don't get the second all. Well, this is a first!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersnookums

Teeheehee! This post cracked me up more than usual :) The pumpkins! Seriously, who would make those? In more than one bakery? WHYYYYYYY? Hahahaha!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Maybe they just took the "Pumpkins" out of the it a bit nippy in here?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

I'm so embarrassed. It seems I based my last comment on some phallus assumptions. Had I been able to get my mind out of the gutter, I would have realized this is actually a subtle salute to slightly alternative children's literature.

1. Weenie the Poo

2. There was an Old (Alien) Lady who Wallowed in Spider (It wiggled and jiggled and tickled beside her...)

3. James and the Giant Pumpkins

4. Casper the Inappropriately Friendly Ghost

5. It's a "Great" Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

6. The "Great" Pumpkin Rises Again

My bad...

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Can't top Sharyn's commentary, not even gonna try XD XD XD

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

Those pumpkin cookies are from Panera, which is a chain, which is why there are two identical pictures.

Come on, people.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVS

Ha, Loving the Monty Python reference.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCakingoveromaha

Sharyn, you made me laugh so hard! And I was already in tears from the post, now I'm dehydrated.
Okay, here I go, rising to the challenge... (11 days 'til Jen and John hit Toronto!)

(To "Don't Worry, be Happy" and I warn you, it's rather rude for me)

Here’s a little cookie ghost
A rival for “ghost with the most”
Don’t worry, he’s happy
Necrophiliac’s blow-up doll
With “boo” graffitied on his balls
Don’t worry, he’s happy

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

In today’s blog the bakers faced some stiff competition in getting their creations posted. Whether it was making a clean breast of things or genital…err…general Halloween work, they all rose to the occasion, stood proud and firm, unbending in their desire to get a rise out of us. Yes, seeing these was certainly the climax of my day!

@Sharyn—you’re on a roll! Loved ‘em!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hey, those look like private body parts. Numbers 3, 4 and 5.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBevvey

Being from Panera doesn't exuse it lol

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCariBelle

OMG!! @Dark Lord of Marking and @Sharyn (two times!) -- LOL!! I can't stop laughing at your comments!! TOO DARN FUNNY!!!

And those "perky pumpkins" -- it's made even worse by where the person is holding them up in that picture!

Another holiday of decorating destruction!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea K

That ghost looks like it could use a Brazilian wax. Or at least a trim! Jeez!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

I don't think I will be able to look at any pumpkin this year without my mind going straight to the gutter..... Ah another perfect holiday ruined by inproper thoughts and images... ..... <giggles> See I'm all torn up about it!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

I can't decide if the ghost is enjoying himself or if the bat is violating it.

same goes for the bug-eyed alien. The spider seems to surprise him tickling him THERE. But does he mind?

I wonder if those pumpkins are what a witch's implants would look like.

@JRM--if it's a vampire bat and it sucks, would the ghost mind?

@Sharyn--you are hilarious today!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

Those pumpkin cookies at the end? Those ain't no bakeries . . they're PANERA. They're EVERYWHERE. Oh boy.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan M

Is anybody else convinced yet that these bakeries are purposely trying to make cakes/cookies look like private body parts? I mean, how else do you explain these cakes?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Jen: I think you need to hire Sharyn.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Absolutely brilliant.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

I'm torn between wanting to go to my local Panera to see if they have a supply of said cookies and wanting to email this post to their customer service...I mean, someone should point it out to them if they've not already noticed....right?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Gah!! I just got my Panera eNewsletter and there's a big picture of these cookies in my inbox right now. You've ruined a perfectly delicious cookie for me, thank you very much. ;)

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

the first one screams 'jazz hands'.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterali

at 'Dark Lord of Marketing' still laughing... tears streaming.. best comment ever!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiedyegal

I don't know which was more amusing - the cakes or the commentary!!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharisse

I saw those pumpkin cookies at my local Panera and wanted to take a picture to send in, but I couldn't figure out a way to get one. Thanks to whoever managed to pull it off, you made my day!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Wow this whole post cracked me up. Are these bakers really that oblivious? Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference ftw. I think the worst one may be the spider crawling up the cupcake cake monsters crotch. But that first one. A poop penis? With hands? Who in their right minds thought that was a good idea. Who would want to eat that? What is that supposed to be underneath the candy corn on the ghost cookie? Do I even want to know. Maybe it's supposed to be a bat, but there's a plastic bat below the candy corn. Kinda seems like overkill.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

#1 Is that brown shape/blob.... yep, it is.... omg, yep, it is phallic in shape...

#2 I'd have 3 eyes and crazy hands if a spider THAT size was that close to me too!! O_o

#3 - Pumpkin cakes served at Hooters? Or maybe they are the boobs for an all new Halloween addition of the baby belly cakes from yesterday.

#4 And you thought the reusing of the helmet-shaped cookie cakes to make new designs was bad! Seriously you made a ghost from a gingerbread man shape?! And a very excited one...

#5 & 6 Are just HARD to get past without laughing my butt off!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

I must say a big "Thank You" to CW and all readers that have posted hilarious comments! I was having a horrible day (you know "unemployed, no money, pity me, party for one!") And I turned to CW for my daily dose of smiles. . . Hats off to you for "rising" to the occasion. I am now in tears from LOLing repeatedly!
PS: "Dark Lord of Marketing": You are the best! That comment made my day!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Who knew that gingerbread men cookies could be made into ghost coookies? Ghosts fleeing from candy-headed bats in search of the I mean cave of Boo. Do ghosts have crotches? Well, gingerbread ghosts do.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah



October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharon

Can't help but notice that the jazz hands on cake #1 are both RIGHT hands... just to add to the creep factor. Whattheheck are the LEFT hands doing????

And I really can't blame the second cake-monster - I'd probably look bug-eyed (but with only two eyes) like that, too, if I found giant spiders crawling all over me! Eeeewwww... wreckorators, arachnophobes will never buy that cake, I promise you.

Isn't the 5th picture of pumpkin cookies from Panera Bread???

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon Hunter

There is nothing better than a well placed "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" reference. Thanks for the laugh!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi

I wish I could have gone to Richmond!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHamster


OMG, woman, PLEASE get a publisher and a book contract of your own!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterunmarried without cake

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