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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Sep182011

Caught In The Act

For years, bakers have tried to deny it.

"My balloons look like what? Really?! Well, I never. How could you even suggest such a thing? I'm aghast! I'm stunned! I'm [checking thesaurus] chagrined! Why, I would never...

 

...

"Um...

"Yeah, okay. You got me. Those are totally sperm.

"But how do you like my rose buds?"

 

Thanks to Rebecca B., who only mentioned that they misspelled "We'll." She's a forgiving sort, that one.

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Reader Comments (50)

Does that say "Perd?" As in, Perd Hapley from Parks and Rec?

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Hill

What's a Perd/Pend?
Will miss you, Perd!--is that like "_____ somebody will miss you, you Perv you...or is Perd the person's name? what kind of a name is Perd! How come you didn't mention THIS!?

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLyle

I couldn't help thinking it meant "We'll miss you Period." Which makes the balloon sperm seem fitting. Like they're moving on to greener pastures. Maybe it's a menopause cake!

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

So what is this cake about? Train Tracks, sperm, Balloons, and brown flowers? I don't get it! LOL

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEatley

is that supposed to say "Will miss you Period?"

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Um, is it only me, or do you see, along with the sperm balloons, that it doesn't say "Perd", it says "Period"? I'm just sayin'...

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersportsnmusic

What's with the railroad tracks at the bottom?

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJujuBrie

Rose buds? I thought those we snails! Somehow, I think Perd is better off when he/she leaves!

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSierra

Oh my... that's... why would balloons be going horizontally? AND um, 'cream' colored? Oh, and the small piles of pooh.
Even the colors say, "I give up."

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterqueen of wal-martians

Maybe it's "Will miss you." (a period -- being the punctuation mark the customer requested) & the baker/decorator thought it was the person's name. I don't know....
.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

we will miss you and we will celebrate it with poo piles, poo splatters and sperm.... and a fence? What the?

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermeanearlene

@Claire - that's exactly what I thought too!! LOL :) Kind of like a farewell cake to the sperm since they made the journey!

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrista B

It looks like someone desaturated/sepia toned this cake. It's about the dreariest looking mess I've seen.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLDarroch

Speechless.
Maybe if you ordered it from a colour-blind, stream of consciousness thinker working at the bakery next door to the fertility clinic it would make sense?
No?
I'm starting to see things in that cake that Freud wouldn't even see.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaury

Perd means horse in Afrikaans. Not that it makes any more sense.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieSchoe

This one has to be intentional. Why would the baker make the balloons sideways? The sperm and the actual balloons look like completely different styles and I wonder if they were done by two different bakers, one with an odd sense of humor. The strings are different and they are oriented differently.

There's no excuse for those "rosebuds" though. They look like what my friend's dog made when she ate a green crayon.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbananacat

Hm. How perplexing.

Yeah, I'm with the others who saw "period." I assumed it to be a pregnancy cake with the sperm deftly swimming by. Though why you would miss your period...ever? Sigh. That is the gist of my understanding.

}:)

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSpacegeek Nat

There are rosebuds on there? *peers* ...Where?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWildrose

This looks like a practice cake (I keep hoping, at least). Does anyone else wonder if it was meant to say "We'll"?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCreative-Juices

We thought it said Pard, you know, short for Pardner. Maybe it is a western theme with a country fence.
That still doesn't explain the sperm and rosebuds, if that's what they are.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

I automatically read it as "Pard," short for "Pardner," because the fence seemed Western. The questionable balloons and flying sky rosebuds, however, add a whole new layer of mystery.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIvy

I hope the poo tadpoles don't grow up to be chocolate frogs, or the entire wizarding world is going to get e coli.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"It's time for Ya Heard? with Perd!"

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzombiekim

Urgh, urgh, urgh... you said "rosebuds."
And I KNOW it's because you've seen Goldmember and you're trying to gross me out with a Fat B reference.

*puts on best Dr. Evil accent*

... *hands on knees* Ok, sick as a dog now... Ok... Gonna vomit....

Carmiehead, the Un-Stalker

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarmiehead, the Un-Stalker

I said I wanted a SHEET CAKE!!!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

WTF was the POINT of this??? D:

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"I said I wanted a SHEET CAKE!!!"

Good one, Sara!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Assuming that the writing is indeed Perd, it could be short for Perdita, like in 101 Dalmations. It's probably a common name somewhere.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbob

The more I look at it, the more I'm convinced it's some kind of edible rebus, but I can't make head or tail out of most of it.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

@ J. Hill- more like Turd Cr*pley!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSmooph

I'm thinking "Run out of town on a rail" fits in there somehow.....?

Hee! Sharyn! very clever.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Uh, "Perd" as in "perdition"? That would explain a lot.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFM

There once was a fellow named Perd
Who was as colorblind as a dead bird
And had no sense of smell
so he just couldn't tell
that his goodbye cake was frosted with tur...tle fudge ganache. ;-)

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

Aaarr. So no pirates today? Just some Perd being run out on the rails trailed by some sad balloons.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Argh! It be the plank for poor bonny Perd!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

Perd, in Afrikaans(a South African language) means........horse. Might explain the traintrack-like fence, no wait, now I'm even more confused.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarlise

It's a message cake I am sure. Balloons = rubber/condoms The fence as in Defense against the sperm.

September 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCyndy

It's all lies..
It represents something deep, man. Deep.

November 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I agree with Claire! I thought it said "Period" at first... and I was thinking... well that's a way to celebrate I think?!

November 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJae

Achromatic world.
Gravity awry. Tracks' end.
Apocalypse now.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I think I got it! It is a hystorectomy cake! Those might be inscisions, not railroad tracks!
I don't get perd unless they misspelled period, or the brown ” flowers”.... Hmmm....

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

This has to be one of the ugliest cakes I've ever seen, but I laughed until tears were running down my face while reading the comments about it!! I finally had to take a bathroom break before having an "accident" from laughing so hard! There are a lot of good comments, but Sara's comment about requesting a "sheet cake", was a real winner! Thanks for making my day, everybody!!! :-D

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy

Does anyone think the Blue Balloons look like Boobs, or is it just me?

December 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

You Guys think everything looks like boobs......LOL. I think the balloons and sperm were flying over the fence on their new journey. Maybe they will land in Emerald City with Dorothy and the tin man and breed more p - - p splatters.. Weird cake though...

December 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJMK

I think it's supposed to say, "Will miss your pond" and the sketchy balloons are supposed to be something strange in a pond. The stuff in the top left hand corner is lilly pads with big brown toads sitting on them.

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

it probably should read PARD, like Partner

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMalou

I thought it said Will Miss Your Period! Like a boyfriend telling his girlfriend, the condom broke or he didn't pull out in time.

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUnknown

Like Bob, I immediately assumed Perdita.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRae

I thought that said, "Will miss your period", lol! that seems to be more accurate with the "balloons".

January 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterme

Now, I'm going to make fun of someone. And that someone is either the baker, or the person whose name is on this cake.
If it is the person, then I hope you never read this.

Here goes!
WILL MISS YOU, TURD!
Was in my mind the moment I read "Perd".

October 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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