My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I Say, "Stand Over There"

[With Apologies to Aretha]


Each day when I wake up

And think of our nasty break up


I bake another cake...

or two!


While torching your chair now


 While wondering which hussy's there now


I bake another cake for you!


My business 

Is booming...


 These things sell so well


 I really ought to thank you!

I'm better off single, 

I'm mending my heart


  ...and I don't miss you!


So, goodbye forever, that's how it must be

I'm making LOTS of money



Thanks to Angelica L., Carol J., Julie B., Becky C., Kimberly, Chebrutta, Shawn, Adriel H., and Sophie S. - and don't worry, hon, there's no hidden message here...

« The Best Unintentionally Obscene Halloween Cake EVER | Main | Subjective Reasoning »

Reader Comments (59)

Someone got a cake calling their ex a big baby? I wonder why that relationship didn't work out?
I'm thinking some of the people who ordered these made need some therapy. Also, whoever was the model for the hussy cake needs a plastic surgeon to deal with all that cellulite and whatever that weird set of bumps is on the side of her abdomen.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Oh good, another song to have stuck in my head all day. Thank you!

P.S. The hussy has a serious cellulite problem! She needs those handcuffs to keep the men from sprinting in the other direction once they see it.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Breast augmentation
or a bed of uncut bills?
We all make choices.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Ha!!!!!! I should've gotten the "dumb A$$" cake when my divorce was final!!! LOL.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

That lumpy fondant on the hussy cake!!! Ugh!!! Not appetizing AT ALL!!! :P

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Have to admit, that first cake is pretty amazing!

Also if my chair looked like that one did I'd torch it myself. Gag!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKilroy

I love the little smirk on the "I hate you" cake. I didn't know you could make a sarcastic emoticon.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

I feel stupid here, but could someone explain to me what the brown streak down the first cake is? It's bothering me that I can't figure it out. A tire track maybe?

And you know, I like that "take out the garbage" cake. I think it's nicely done!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

The look on Benjamin Franklin's face says it all...

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I quite like the "Take the garbage out" cake...with the groom hanging onto the cake, the detailed rat and garbage bags...:D

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrisfromParis

I gotta say....the 'Take out the Garbage' cake is Sweets worthy....if only in skill and execution. It's quite well done, actually. All the others? Ugh. Oh, and thanks for the ear worm; I must now go put something else in my head.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I like the "I hate you" cake with flowers. One wonders if a brick wasn't available.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudax

Looking at the hussy cake, I was trying to figure out what was sitting below the boobs and thought "That's not......yeah, it is." (I'm going to give the wreckerator the benefit of the doubt since it looks like it was just placed there)

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

@Trevor - it looks like the cake has alreday been cut into. It still doesn't make sense to me, but I don't think it's a streak. Perhaps it is a groove/rut he made when getting kicked out?

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

The first and the Take Out The Garbage cakes aren't wrecks, just an atypical subject matter. I would have loved either at my divorce party.

Yes, I had a divorce party it's not that strange.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

ah...probably not a good day for male I'll just say another great job, Sharyn -- now an illustrated song!! Your talent knows no bounds!!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Trevor- I think the cake is supposed to be split down the side to drive home the point that this couple has split. Just in case no one at the "We Split Up Party" figured it out.
Or maybe it's an oil slick.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@Trevor: It's a rift, possibly from a cake-quake.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@trevor - I think that it is supposed to be an artistic depiction of the cake cut (looks like layers are exposed), or maybe just cracked - like the relationship.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Trevor? I think the brown is supposed to look like the inside of the cake, without having the cake really cut into.
I never understood those kind of wedding cakes. Don't get married. Maybe I have no sense of humor, but I don't find them funny in any way.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I think the first and sixth ("Take the garbage OUT!!") cakes are really good. The rest look even worse by contrast.

Trevor - that's a cut into the cake, not a streak running down it. It looks like the cut is iced, and cake layers simulated with piping, but I'm not sure about that.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

The real handcuffs and condom on the "hussy" cake are a nice touch... (AND, the condom's a Magnum... Wow...) O_o

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

ITT: cakes that make you realize that the ex-husband must have had the patience of a saint to have put up with the harridan whom he has finally escaped.

Really ugly.

And not just the cakes.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Oh, that poor hussy! I would imagine that she doesn't get much business with cellulite like that. Ick.

And I agree, the "take out the garbage" cake is very well done!

Nice job, Sharyn!!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Oh, such a NICEEEEE send-up of "I Say A Little Prayer For you"! I am bowing in your general direction.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

The "hussy" cake disturbs me on so many levels. The lumps? Gross!!! The "ballin'" cake looks like something one of my 18 yr old daughter's friends would have for a "Look Ma! I got a job!" party :) I love the Pepto Pink icing on the "You complete You" cake. Makes a real statement!

Awesome job Sharyn!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

I just love the angry cakes. they make me happy deep down in my cockles. And that nasty old chair is perfect!!
And I kind of have to agree with everyone - then cellulite boobs are the most unappitizing thing possible.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin Redhead

#1 Well, thanks to Trevor, I went back to look at the first one again. I thought someone just did a very poor job of slicing that cake, but no it is a simulated cake rift. Also, are those supposed to be pools of blood? That top one looks like a red flip flop. Finally, did anyone else notice the two toothpicks holding the Ex's feet in place?

#2 Is that what you would call ironic? Sometimes I forget because someone is always trying to tell me it's a bunch of spoons when you really want a knife.

#3 The chair is a lie. You know there should be a remote on/in it somewhere!

#4 Needs to see a malpractice lawyer, STAT! Looks like she was given a breast augmentation using Great Stuff spray foam. *shudder*

#5 You know, I need to start giving out cakes more often! Heehee. These are great.

#6 Very well done, but also very unappetizing. Hopefully, she just finished picking up the fondant and carried all the decorations away before she sliced the cake.

#7 The wreckerator definitely has the 'glob' icing skillz down!

#8 Methinks that is a CCC (patooie!) that is actually cute and well done. The world must be ending.

@SuBee: I think I might have been spelling your name wrong for a very long time, sorry. ANYway, I agree. Mr. Franklin looks embarrassed to be on that cake. Heh.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

At least the "hussy" cake is practicing safe BDSM. O.O

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I realize that Aretha did a fine fine cover of Say a Little Prayer (of course she would!), but apologies should be made to Dionne Warwick.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermusic nazi (sorry)

The hussy cake looks like something intended for a bachelor party, not a divorce party. Although maybe it was for HIS divorce party...

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Actually, I LOLd at the first cake and the Take Out the Trash cake -- I didn't have a divorce party, but I'd have wanted either of those if I did.

I thought they were quite well-done, especially given the off-kilter subject matter.

(beats what my ex did - drove around town for three days with a sign in his back window that said "The Psycho B*tch From H*ll is Gone". Classy, huh?

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nimous

Lesson learned by the 'hussy' cake: Never use popcorn in breast implants.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

My favorite detail is the way the groom on the "garbage" cake is hanging onto the fondant and puling it up. Genius!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Actually, the better known and original version of "I Say a Little Prayer" is Dionne Warwick's... Other than that, Sharyn, you're perfect!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Nicely done garbage cake. Nice touch with the handwritten "GLAD" bag.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I like the hussy cake because it makes me feel better about my boobs...because they're not freakishly lumpy.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Bahahaha-so wrong and right at the same time. Sharyn, you were hysterical. Haiku joy, great to have you back, I love you :D

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Take out the trash cake must have been some brilliant therapy. Must have taken a long time, no wonder the rat is so detailed....

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdanielle

You complete you. Ugly cookie...great line.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlindalou

Hope they didn't use a real Benjamin. What a waste if so. My fave: take the garbage out!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEm

Didn't Dionne Warwick originally sing that song: "Say a Little Prayer for You" ?

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

I'm pretty sure the first cake was supposed to look smashed. There's a baseball bat at the bottom of the groove. And though it's certainly well above average for the wrecks, I think the strewn about clothes should've been more wrinkled or torn even since she's throwing him out.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

It's good to be loved.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm kinda jealous. I never got cake when I got dumped. I had to get it myself. Along with ice cream, raw coolie dough, several bags of chips, a bucket of fried chicken, a dozen doughnuts, a box of wine, a large bag of M&Ms--you know, basic survival gear. Then I'd order pizza when I got hungry. Hmm. Delivery guy is kinda cute in a revolting sort of way. He's got a job and a car. Yeah, he'll do.

The second to last one is a quote from a speech by Martin Luther King, Jr., right? Close enough.

That recliner! Eww! Just eww! Yeah, I'd eat it.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

(sigh) I usually resist even looking this stuff up- much less posting it- but Dionne did it in '67 and Aretha in '68. Me? I only knew the Aretha version but it's because she's a sassy, tough broad and that's what I've always wanted to grow up to be.

that is a flip flop on top of the first cake and the second is on the top of the second tier- his other clothes are strewn further down the cake; the Rift does appear to be part of the design. Off Topic: I can't say Rift without thinking Raft as in RiffRaff from "Rocky Horror"...which, clearly, whoever ordered the cake thought the guy was (riff raff, I mean).

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

The "You complete you" and "At last! At last!" cakes were my favorites.

Do you have any cakes for ex-husbands who, 13 years after your divorce, owe you more than $14K in child support? I could use one of those.

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I so wish I had that at last cake lol. Man now I feel I should get the cake anyways but ah well. Happily remarried so now it would be pointless and besides that thing looks like a CCC patooie cake and I wouldn't want to explain how it got in my apartment lol.

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

"You Complete You", that is so hilarious!!

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Sharyn, well done! :D (as always)

I would have loved to get my sister and my best friend the "At Last" or the Take out the Trash cake when their divorces were final. THAT would have been classic.

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>