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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug312012

A Mary Sing-Along

(In case you need a refresher:)

 

Iiiiit's....

Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness

Can’t the wreckerators tell when something looks atrocious?



This is not a cake that would be served by any hostess!

Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness!


  So many times when I buy cakes I find it quite absurd


 How often bakery frosting can look like a pile of turds


Or oozing sores…


 or vomit piles… 


or glistening, ruptured spleens

I just want a dessert that won't turn of all of my guests green!

Oh…..

Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness

 


Can’t the wreckerators tell when something looks atrocious?



This is not a cake that would be served by any hostess

 

Stupid-gobs-of-frosting-turned-into-a-scene-of-grossness!


(Move that away a little, I'm gonna die)

(Move that away a little, I'm gonna die)



Thanks to Kelly C., Paul W., Caitlin & Nanoo, Sue W., Jennifer S., Greg K., Dylan W., Lisa T., Heidi B., Jennifer H., and the always-amazing Sharyn for the song re-write!

« Sunday Sweets: Sweet Things In Small Packages | Main | Like Aversion? »

Reader Comments (116)

More, more! Applause! Fabulous song, horrendous cakes!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

Brilliant rendition! lol ...*hurk!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Blurg...umm... wow. "Oozing sores." I think I'm going to be sick! And the "green" leaves of the "carrot" on the last cake look like baby poo. Urg...

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarahB

You did something amazing-you turned me off buttercream frosting O_o

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Brilliant song. Even better, someone has actually taken a fork full of the last cake. Really???

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

I just love that movie! <3 Oh wait...this is supposed to be about the cakes....yeah...sorry...singing Mary Poppins now, I can't see any of the horror that followed below! ;)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Is that a tooth bridge on cake #3? Hooooo!! Those turtles better watch out.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspudd

OK, this might be the best post ever! You are a delight!! You nailed the song, and those last two parenthetical phrases fit so perfectly, I started laughing out loud! Oh, and the cakes were funny, too! ;-)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

OK, I went through that too fast because I was trying to keep up with the song in my head. You really need a slower song to appreciate all of the wreckiness.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

"or glistening, ruptured spleens"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best line ever!

Keep up the hysterical work!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteresw

Oh my..............

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterarlene

Long time lurker-first time poster-Thank you for the am laughter. Guess I know what I'll be humming the rest of the day!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndPo

Bravo!!! Encore! Encore!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I will be singing that song for the rest of the day, so thanks for that :P

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Brilliant!! My favorite song and my favorite blog! Thank you for turning my very aggravating morning into lovely day, indeed!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

This made my day. Now I know that the rest of the day will be awesome.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDestinie

Song--fantastic! Cakes--craptastic!

Cheeky...

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarla

The little brown pellets in the first cake look exactly like the little brown pellets in our guinea pig cage. Gross!

Love the song! :)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNCS

HAHAHa... my eyes hurt before i read today's post, now they REALLLLLY hurt!! The song really helped to keep going though lol . Well done lol .... song writer & poster, not "decorators"

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana C

Bravo. BRAVO!

Truly, inspired.

(OMG, what the heck is wrong with those decorators?!)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarilee

I love this. A lot. Well done.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

Oh, rodent poo!! and chocolate genache gone wrong (did I spell that right?) I"ve never commented before, but this was an awesome post!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim M

Spleen FTW.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The cakes are disgusting, the song is AWESOME!!
And I now will have it stuck in my head all day.
(I especially liked the "move that way a little, I'm gonna die" part as I always had trouble understand that part growing up. Your way makes as much sense as the real version!)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

So. Stinkin'. Clever!!!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshlee

Dear me. There goes my appetite for breakfast. Ruptured spleens. Must be as painful to experience as it is to eat (and you certainly may experience a ruptured spleen after eating some of this stuff! Yikes! FDA, much?! :D) Sharyn does it again! See what Cake Wrecks has done, inspiring people to greatness!?!?! :D So happy she joined the Cake Wrecks team for this post. It's like one, big, discombobulated family! hahah

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

The ruptured spleens are actually a Satanic Coven of spermatozoa. I mean, where DID you think Damien came from?

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Pleeeeeeease set this to music/video!!! but maybe without any dogs dying... :-)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternettybobetty

The ad at the top of the page says it all: Bleach It Away!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

That was brilliant! *insert big cheesy grin here* Love it!

Well done, everyone! (except, of course, the Wreckerators.)

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKIm in ID

HILARIOUS!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDena

Somehow, I dont think a teaspoon of sugar is going to help.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Brava! Brava! Bravissimo!

On another note, has anyone else noticed that on the ruptured spleen cake there is one shell on the border that is backwards?

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie S

BEST POST EVER!!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChani

This first image reminds me of a bacterial culture plate...

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

This is too funny. I was listening to Mary Poppins sound track as this post popped up in my Facebook newsfeed.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Really, this may have turned me off of cake forever.

OK, not really, but if anything could it would be the baby poo "leaves" on the carrot. Ack.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConstance G

Great job Sharyn! I knew you had to of contributed to the post when I read the "revised" lyrics.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

LMFAO!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMona

Those cakes were gross and great post.. but thanks for the ear worm.. Now I will be singing that song AAALLLL day!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Ab-so-freakin'-lutely brilliant post today!!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

Wow! That first cake with the maggots writhing around in a sewer that is strangely populated with ping pong balls- what were they going for? Eeeeeeww!!! None of them look good, but that one just turned my stomach so bad.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Sharyn!!!! Woot!

"move that away a little, I'm gonna die" Heehee! Awesome!

I agree with Persephone, I can't believe someone actually TOOK A BITE of that last one. I can only hope they seek help for their addiction very soon.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Bravo as always, Sharyn. My kids love that movie and now that song is totally different for me.

Definitely Supercalifragilisticexpiali-don't-lick.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

O.M.G. I thought the oozing sores was bad till I got to the ruptured spleens! The more I looked at it, the worse it got, and I couldn't even breathe! BLECH!~

I did sing along... great post today, and quite fun, and insanely gross. lol

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

The second cake has eyes. It has eyes. The second cake. Eyes. Cake eyes.

And it looks hungry.

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Anne @ Rock Salt

Sharyn finally gets her day in the sun! Great to have her officially on the team today. I always had trouble understanding some of the words to that song anyway. For example, I thought the line that said "My father gave my nose a tweak and told me I was bad" was "..until my eye was bad".

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindaS

#1: need "like" buttons on comments. #2: i can't believe that no one commented on the turkey cake with black "stuffing" coming out it's a$$.....wonder if it is red velvet on the inside...the kind with a half bottle of food dye in it.
I sometimes think that there is no way that these are real cakes in a store...but then I go shopping and there is something like that "carrot" with brown bottom....and I just have to chuckle out loud. I know people around me think I am odd....but it is OK...I am old and can get away with odd stuff...LOVE your blogs and weren't those Threadcakes awesome?

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrandmaJer

Best. Post. Ever! I'm holding you responsible for that song being stuck in my family's heads all day, as we gathered around the monitor and all did a singalong together with your new lyrics! BRILLIANT!!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCookie Puss

You just made my day!! LOL!!

August 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkmac

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