My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen



[adjusting glasses] October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a time to raise awareness, celebrate our survivors, and work together towards finding a cure for this horrible disease.

And also butcher some pink ribbon cakes.

Like so:

Ok. So. Wreckerators. Can we talk? I'd like to talk.

Here's the thing: you have THREE PLASTIC PINK RIBBONS ON THE CAKE. All you had to do was copy ONE of them. That's it. It's a loop. ONE LOOP. And what did you do? Well, honestly, I have no idea what you did. What is that? A folding chair? A bow? A naked person's heiny?

(Made you look.)

Maybe if the Wreckerator only had to draw a ribbon on the cake...

Never mind.

Ah, now here is someone who has mastered the art of the one-loop ribbon!

Next we'll tackle spelling.

Survior: (n) one who surves.
"I would like to surve this Canadian gosling. Please pass the peanut butter."

As anyone with a cancer-survivor in their life knows, finally getting that clean bill of health is a huge deal. HUGE. We're talking party like it's 1999 time. We're talking - oh yeah - CAKE.

Not this cake.

DEFINITELY not this cake.

Note to Wreckerators: When celebrating the successful vanquishing of tumors, it is never a good idea to put tumors on the cake. Please add this to the training manual. Right under "No more edible cancer rats for fundraisers."

Thanks to my breast Wreckporters Dorei, Sarah D., Beth, & Chelsi. You guys rock. Please pass the peanut butter.

« Wreckies of the Month | Main | In Soviet Russia... »

Reader Comments (69)

The first one isn't actually for cancer awareness, it's for girl pirates to find the treasure. Pink X marks the spot.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

I know it's not PC to say this, but I am soooo tired of Breast Cancer Awareness and pink everything. It was something of a relief to be able to laugh at a couple for once.

WV: binesorp. Like pine soup, but not.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I honestly thought those were cloves of garlic on the last one.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellysaurus Rex

Yes, you indeed made me look!

On a side note... silly putty colored tumors are hideous.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

#1 could also be two pink softball bats being tapped in an X, like a salute to an opponent before they beat the %$^& out of them. Kinda like in fencing. (with swords, not pickets, wreckerators)

also, the last cake....those blobs look awfully shiny. are we sure they're not intended to be implants? before they're implanted? as in the survivor needed to have hers replaced? though i can't explain the purple ribbon/sperm tail.....

wv: domoter. the person who domotes a poor employee.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Danger Boy...I love it! LOL

and i love my WV for this post: shetop. very appropriate. since we're celebrating tatas and all.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear Elissa,
How unfortunate that you are "soooo tired of Breast Cancer Awareness". I hope you never have a need for the drugs that are used to combat this disease, for without the Breast Cancer Awareness campaigns, etc. there might not be enough money raised to develop drugs to beat this awful disease.

WV: slyche
I'd like a big pink slyche of cake to give to Elissa.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Last week, NFL teams were wearing pink uniforms, playing on pink fields, using pink footballs, and getting pink concussions. The first cake represents major league baseball's response: Two pink bats, artistically crossed.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wait, isn't that a *ptooie* cupcake cake with the "one loop ribbon" and typo?

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdplass

My husband is a cancer survivor (6 years last month! Hooray!!!!)
He said he'd be afraid to go anywhere near that "cancer free" cake.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Canadian gosling? w/peanut butter? that's so last season... Lovely wrecks btw.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

The blobs on the last one look like raw oysters to me. Also not something I ever (EVER) want to see on a cake.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren S

Tumors on the cake evoked a snicker here...your blog is the cake bomb- I enjoy the reads.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter2Thinks

Maybe it's just me, but I'm more disturbed by the "urine sample" yellow of the last cake than by the frosting tumors.

And don't worry, Elissa. I am hugely irritated by the pink, and pink is my favorite color.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Uh, isn't that top one sort of supposed to be a bow? Maybe?

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

nothing says "Save the Ta-Tas" like boob implants on a yellow cake!!!

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkittymidori

My pink loving 3-year-old daughter just kept pointing at the cakes and asking if she could have that cake, or that one. I kept telling her no. I assumed she wanted the cakes because they were pink, so imagine my surprise when she asked if she could have the yellow one. She finally asked "Then what cake can I have?" To some, the wreckage doesn't matter so long as there is cake involved.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is the last one tatas with tassels?

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Re the last cake:
What are the blue things attached to the tumors/oysters?

To celebrate being cancer free, bring on the martinis, fireworks, music.

Use pink cakes,frozen for hangover.


October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the last one isn't for breast cancer. I think it's for something a little lower... and on a man... (not tumors, think testicles!) The urine yellow just supports the theory!

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjagra

blue is my favorite color, not pink. however, pink became my new fav when i was diagnosed at age 25. yeah, that had some major suck to it. so you are tired of seeing pink everything? well, it's a lot different when the "pink" is referring to YOUR ta ta's.

rock on cakewrecks. these cakes are boobylicious.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermary

For anonymous with the 3 year old who just wants cake, it reminds me of the link CW posted on FB yesterday:

I'm not a huge fan of pink like a few people on here have noted and I would probably opt for a different color to celebrate, but since that's the color for the cancer awareness, I will proudly honor it. My grandma died of breast cancer years ago, but I'm pretty sure she would have not touched any of these cakes! She was a bit too classy to get near the wrecks lol!

WV: forth. I would not go near these with a forth or any other utensil.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The yellow cake has such pretty writing. Too bad it has such unfortunate ... um ... uh ... yeah ... okay, decorations.

wv: Plece
Could we plece just use some plastic flotsum instead.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

The top one could be a strapless cross-your-heart bra. Or not.

wv: cortion

Please use cortion when reading Cake Wrecks. Laughing out loud, laughing so hard you roll on the floor and your butt detaches, snorting, bewilderment (they paid for that?), confusion (what is it?), giggling, falling off chairs, praying (OMG), watery eyes (from laughter), being grossed-out, snickering, being offended, and spewing drinks on screen may be a result of viewing this blog.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


That's exactly what I was thinking! Glad you said it first ;o)


October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Using more cupcakes increases the ability to approximate complex shapes such as a loop. One would think the increased surface area would allow for the inclusion of all letters in a word. Alas, not so.

I could wonder why wreckerators don't check their work, but black icing on a white background = what's done is done and hope nobody else notices (right).

wv: jelogg. Think I'll have some Jelogg's Korn Fakes with 1% milk on it (otherwise known as 'why bother' juice).

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Sorry, but I feel the same way as Elissa. I don't mind bringing awareness and fundraising for a worthy cause, but why does everything have to be pepto-bismal pink? It's nauseating. I would be much more willing to purchase items if they weren't that god-awful color. Most of the other causes don't force me to wear a certain color or have a house full of a color theme I despise. And they certainly don't make pro football games look like a bad "Legally Blonde" movie. Even Mary Kay doesn't make their people drive around in pink cars anymore. All causes being equally worthy, I'd rather buy something to support healthy heart and bring awareness to heart disease simply because I prefer red to pink. So, as far as people like me are concerned, by making everything pink, they are alienating potential donors.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, you did make me look again. That made me laugh because I had looked again before seeing your comment about looking again. I'm personaly rooting for the Kids who want to wear those I (heart) boobies bracelets during school. Sorry to the person who doesn't like the useage of pink for Breast cancer awareness. Would burgandy or light blue be better for you, just wondering?

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

No cancer survivor should ever be saddled with a CCC, much less a Wreckerator CCC. And the sad thing is, the easiest way to form a pink ribbon cake loop is to use cupcakes.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSoupAddict Karen

the cancer-free cake? Since it's not a pink, I think those are testicles... BTW, the medical root word for testicle is orchid, so just think of them as orchids! :)

I'm not even going near that last cake. Don't even want to know it's cake.

As for pink - I hate pink... can't we save the tatas no matter what color we wear?

I've got some awesome photos of the 'save the tatas' campaign the quilt society did, all using bras. Not cake, but they'd be really cool done AS cake!

Must say though, after reading this site, I'd be afraid of what I'd get if I asked a 'professional' to make one. A dreaded ccc? The less pleasing EPC? How DO I get them to make what I want?

*sigh* someone in the background here is telling me to make tatas myself. "Shut up, Craig!"


October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm a breast cancer survivor, and, in support of elissa, I get tired of October, too. These cakes made me laugh.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nah I think the first one looks like an X and what letter is the chromosome for females? XP

@ elissa

Don't worry I agree too. Quite the contrary, there ought to be more focus on other women's cancers like ovarian and cervical, which kill more compared to breast cancer and yet they don't recieve the same attention.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I loved this... Hoorah for ta-ta's! Thank you for this blog because I am totally unable to spot Cake fails by myself.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterApocalypse Dummies

Was that last picture showing tumours (Canadian spelling) in the corners? I thought they were colostomy bags.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

To me, it looks like the last one is celebrating a cancer free cervix!

wv: gasecait. don't blow a gasecait, it's not cancer.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I definitely thought the third one said "swivior"

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily Marie :)
October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As soon as I saw "Yay for Tatas", i knew i never should have clicked...

um... yay for being cancer free= blue ribbons on little beige boobies? they're not tumors they'

WV: dumbu
as in, dumbu wreckerators can't get a dang cake right

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

I'm all for Breast Cancer Awareness, but lately, October has become more "boobies appreciation month!" than a time to educate people about breast cancer.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterR

I too tire of seeing pink everywhere. I am the immediate family member of someone who lost her life to breast cancer. I held her hand and watched while she died. I don't need to be reminded of this when I try to buy a cake, or potato chips or vaccuum bags or any thing else pink that has absolutely zero to do with breasts or health. Komen has turned breast cancer into a major industry and it has little to do with breast cancer prevention.

If people get comfort from the pink, then that's their right. But please don't assume that you speak for everyone with cancer or their families anymore than I do.

Just a note about marketing, if a message is everywhere, it becomes meaningless.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranonymoose

Obviously that first cake is not just dedicated to breast cancer, but research into the genetic causes of breast cancer. It's a jolly pink chromosome!

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, you had to bring out that last cake. What the heck? Those sacs looks like...well...sacs. Ew.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh goodness this made me laugh. I was an avid cake decorator (though not a professional) in my pre-gluten-free days. (Managed to do my 5 tiered wedding cake.) Since then, I have yet to get back to the sugar and find a gluten-free recipe that really does it for me.
I stumbled onto your blog from Orangette. Thank you for the chuckle. :)

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabbie

I'm a 16 year survivor of breast cancer. I'm a huge CakeWrecks fan. And I deal with statistics for a living.

Soooo...I am compelled to correct the misconception (Ann) that ovarian and cervical cancers kill more women than breast cancer. Not true. Estimated cancer deaths for women in 2010:
Breast - 39,840
Ovarian - 13,850
Cervical - 4,210

The only cancer that takes more women's lives is lung cancer.

I don't like the "sibling rivalry" over whose disease is more meritorious of recognition. Death is death. If we can do something to prevent ANY of those deaths, we are morally obliged to do so.

Way too serious a conversation for such a blessedly funny blog.

Ever find any math-related cake wrecks out there?

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIslandPearl

Oops..FTA -- source for those statistics was the American Cancer Society.

And hooray for the pink X chromosome!!

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIslandPearl

Those are tumors? I thought they were sperms, with blue tails, for someone who had testicular cancer.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These wrecks are pretty hilarious. The first and the last ones are confusing.

Count me among those who are tired of the pink everywhere. Kudos for Komen for a remarkable job of successful branding, but seeing a pink ribbon slapped onto something never entices me to purchase it unless it was something I would have bought anyway. Where were the ribbons when my grandmother died of liver cancer? Or my grandfather? Or my aunt of a brain tumour? I donate to the Canadian Cancer Society. But I never donate to pink ribbon campaigns because I feel like I'm donating to a brand as opposed to a cause.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else notice that two of those cakes were cupcake cakes?! EGADS! :O

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeggyLou

The 'survior' cake was horrific - love it. Lost my mom to breast cancer 5 years ago - she would have loved the botched ribbons. Best wishes to any survivors!

WV: opooking. I don't even have a witty definition - it made me laugh out loud by itself.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDel

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