My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Prepare To Feel Festive

...whether you like it or not.

Ok, gang, let's run through that check list again.

Homicidal ghost penguins?


Santa's head on a pike?

Well, it's more like a "turret," but... check.

Pistol Pete's Gingerbread Gun Shop?

Shoot, look's like this baker's gunnin' for a raise! Quite a bang up job, too! Ha ha!

I mean: check.

Alrighty, looks like we're all set!

[speaking into headset] We have a "go" on "Festivities." Repeat: we have a "go" on "Festivities." Proceed with operation "Flower Dump."

Ah, the spirit is moving already!

Ok, let's get wardrobe in here to dress those frogs I ran over last night.

Perfect! They look just like reindeer!

Now, we just need to cram 57 wrapped candy canes, three pounds of icing, and this bucket of plastic flotsam onto a single cake round. Move it, team, move it!

I am so proud of you all right now I could just bust.

Well, gang, that's a wrap. Now, get out there this weekend, and have a ball!


Perhaps in a more figurative sense.

Felicitations to festive feelers Chardy C., Rose B., Amber, Dustin S., Cadence M., Ashley D., & Amy W.


CCC Day #9

Birthday Wishes' mission is simple: to bring birthday parties to homeless children.

Click here to donate your dollar.

« Well, This Is Awkward | Main | Operation: Jingle Bells »

Reader Comments (72)

I hope Jospeh enjoyed his birthday!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Happy Birthday Jospeh!" :-)

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

I've never commented before, but ... did you miss that "Joseph" was mis-spelled on that cake with the (gag!) flattened frogs that I am guessing are supposed to be reindeer?! Ah, the poor grocery store bakery personnel, I forgive them the badly crafted reindeer, but mis-spelling Joseph is pretty bad.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertarragon918

Great googly moogly!!

wv is honestly drove - which is appropriate because, obviously, somebody drove over those brown, spotted frogs....

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

You had me at Homicidal Ghost Penguins.

How can anyone think a pile of poo on top of (really badly piped) flowers is appetizing? Was that the wreckerators response to their own decorating? "Well I did a crappy job on those flowers, let's just make sure EVERYONE knows it." PLOP!

**Head smack** **SIGH**

I have to go make something pretty now to get those images out of my head.

Sharon's Edible Art

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Was the poo supposed to be a cornucopia? Blech!

Happy Birthday Jospeh!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tune in next time as Jospeh stalks the elusive reindeer frogs of Outer Mongolia...

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

OMG.. the poo next to red and white spike plants. That one made me pause... I camp and hike and it does not take a genius to figure out that red and white spiked plants mean danger.

But then I had the same thought at Sharon... crappy icing job deserved a little symbolism. Probably what the wreckorator felt about their job or boss.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

This was funnier to me than you intended. I often use "festive" as a nicer "f" word to describe all the @#$% snow we get here....

btw, congratu-ma-lations on your 1004th post!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

Looks like Grandpa finally got his revenge on the reindeer.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna King

I personally enjoy the Jell-o puddle of Santa blood behind his decapitated head on a turret!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterS Ketne

Anyone else hope that somewhere there is a punk rock band called 'The Homicidal Ghost Penguins'?

Oh, just me then. Okay.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My Three year old is sitting with me as I scrolled down to that forth one before I even looked at it she said, "Look Mama Poopoo!"

I told her that's her birthday cake 'cause today is her birthday.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDani

That santa head is the same as the bizarre ones sitting on top of red globes with icing caterpillars crawling down their backs. The very same.

I feel very much like a Wreck geek now.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEleanor

@Anonymous--if there *isn't* a band called the Homicidal Ghost Penguins, there should be!!!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That red thing that is, at close inspection, a separate cake behind the Santa Pike cake, looks at first glance like a pool of blood behind Santa's head.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermamalong

I think I'm a little more frightened and confused by today's post than usual.

Why do you think that is?

Too much fudge, I suppose.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Why did somebody poo on the poinsettia covered pumpkin? Alliterative purposes?

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Today's post was just what in needed after all the pre-Christmas seasonal chaos that is an integral part of my career. Loved the penguins, hooted at the Santa head on a pike but the reindeer frogs had me guffawing loudly!
I was puzzled by the black fish hook on the last cake, util I realized it was supposed to be an ornament hook. Quite the nasty little surprize to swallow, either in reality or as black(BLECCCH) icing!

You guys are awesome! Have a Happy
Holidayand hope Santa brings you LOTS of fresh cake wrecks(but not in your stockings! Heh!)

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now I feel a whole lot better about decorating my own Christmas cake - at least it won't have a ruddy great turd on top!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Ok, ok I'm festive!

Cake #1: Homicidal Ghost Penguins *snort* *giggle* *ROTFLOL* Poor Mumble...

Cake #2: AH-HA! So that's what happens to Santa's head when the other flotsam half is stuck in the chimney! (side note: I know decapitated Santa is at peace because he has a "halo".)

Cake #3: At least they put candy and gum drops on it instead of shell casings...and beer cans o.O

Cake #4: Poo-settias!

Cake #5: NO EPCOT PLEASE! I'm sure Jen & John know about Jospeh! ;-D

Cake #6: What a sugar rush that is! My children will NEVER have that cake. Never, ever, forever.

Cake #7: It took me a couple looksies to figure out what that was supposed to be - even with your clue! *facepalm* That was a terrible execution of ornamental proportions!

wv: wheschit: These cakes look like wheschit !

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I gave my MIL the link to this site, told her it was HILARIOUS, and what is the first thing she sees? A brown reindeer in the shape of a penis. I'm still laughing!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakeAbox

Truly, I can't stop laughing about the squashed reinfrogs. I gotta get my piping bag out!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

For little Jospeh -- Crunchy frogs! Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed ...

wv: crettligs -- I see little crettligs in the flowers, a little gargoyle face in the center of the top red flower and a modfied storm trooper head in the bottom red flower.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I think we have a bad case of Epcot here. Jospeh is" rel="nofollow">an actual name.

My mom once had a therapist by that name, though I'm not sure she spelled it exactly the same (yes, the site says it's a boy's name; the therapist was a woman).

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

Happy Birthday to Joseph!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertasteofbeirut

"Flower dump". Classic.

And call me crazy, but I'm loving that gingerbread house gun shop! If I was making a gingerbread house this year, I would totally copy that! Except maybe name if after our local gun shop. Anyway, way cool. (of course this is from the gal who has been asking for more handgun wrecks. teeheehee)

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

#1 An igloo with a flat roof and a door? No wonder the penguins are upset -- their neighbors probably can't stop laughing.

#2 Well, the new year is fast approaching; time to get rid of all the frosting that is about to expire. I see decorated sticks of butter in the background -- there must be a story there.

#3 I'm a Second Amendment supporter myself, but...?

#4 Does the red flower have a mouth? "Feed me -- but enough with the roughage, already!"

#5 Can we say, 'rush job'? I knew we could. Like the wreckerator, I have no idea how to depict reindeer viewed from above, though I'm pretty sure their legs shouldn't splay out like that. I doubt 'Jospeh' would have objected to a conventional side view, even if it messes with perspective.

#6 Is this a Sandra Lee 'cakescape'?

#7 I think the Grinch might be returning to his old ways; why else would there be meathooks in Who-ville?

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Guess Grandma isn't the only thing that got run over by a reindeer! Those frog-deers were victims, too!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeb

Jospeh? I thought it was Tospeh! These were scarier than most of the Halloween posts.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was actually cackling reading thru today's post. Poor Joseph, who wants flattened reindeer for their birthday?! LOL!! Off to send this link to many friends who need to laugh!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Poor frogs never get a break at Christmas, no matter how they dress up.

Actually, it only took a quick look at the first photo to make cringe and expect the worst.

The post was as I expected.

I must say, though, the poo on the flowers (?) cake had me WTFestive?


December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

As everyone knows, nothing... And I mean NOTHING says "Christmas Spirit" like a bunch of poinsettas and a giant turd!

WV - catint: That fourth cake clearly had a catint.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

"Homicidal Ghost Penguins"...

Can't... stop... laughing... LOLOLOL!

When I get my "Rock Band 3" set up, I am definitely naming my band "Homicidal Ghost Penguins"!!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea K.

@Craig-- I think those are petit fours, not butter sticks. Conventional cake wreckage, rather than seasonal wrecks!

Homicidal Ghost Penguins . And love the idea of that as a band name, too!

Santa on a spike... um, Grinch, much?

I agree, @Loo-E, that the gun shack was a missed opportunity for empty shells rather than candies! Surely someone must make candy armoury?

Not sure what possessed them to put that "poo blob" on top of the poinsettia cake. The flowers are bad but at least it wasn't a *total* wreck.

Oh dear, Jospeh's reinfrogs are growing on me...

Yup, I think the candy-cane cake must be a Sandra Lee project. Oh wait, it's a kinda well done wreck, so it's beyond her skill level?

OMG, I just figured out what that last one was-- a tree ornament. Yikes, that's a whole new level of appallingly bad decorating.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Usually we can figure out the actual point of a decorated CW cake, but these ... gee, no clue. Cleaning out all the piping bags? Can't throw out old flotsum? Competition for the worst decorated cake in America?

wv: santria
Why, yes, after seeing these cake wrecks, I will have a glass of santria to help me forget them.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I thought the flattened frogs looked more like band aids. Poor "Jospeh"

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

I opened the page and my 3 year old daughter looked at the first cake, lovingly and said, "Look, Ghosts. Penguin ghosts." So, yeah, you are right on the money!!! HA!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

I don't suppose you've heard this song (tune is Jingle Bells):

"Little frog, bigger frog, biggest frog by far,
Oh what fun it is to run them over with a car!"

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

I can't even imagine why the poo is supposed to even be doing on that one cake. And the poor person with the reinfrog cake is wrong for so many reasons. The cake is awful but giving someone with a December birthday a Christmas themed cake is actually worse. My son's is Christmas day and I'll be slaving to create a bakugan cake without nary a Christmas sprinkle in sight. Oy!

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbooturtle

(To the tune of O Tannenbaum)
Chorus: Oh, Tom the toad. Oh, Tom the toad,
Why did you hop up on the road? (repeat)

You were my friend, but now you're dead
Your back bears mark of tire tread

You did not see yon passing car
And now you're stretched out on the tar

You hopped up on the yellow line
And now you're just a streak of slime

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

re cake 6: I think the little penguin (complete with santa hat! :D) is trying to break free..

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSally

who said his name was joseph it could have been jospeh from a foriegn country who really liked frogs.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

stevenash1Jospeh.....wasn't that Jeuss' earthly father....Mray's husband? Or am I mxiing something up?

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

I think Jospeh likes Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo! :p

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are hilarious.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I guess I don't need to tell you that Joseph's name is spelled wrong. Although some parents doodle when they are trying come up with a name for their child... My apologies to Jospeh if that's your name.
Pete's gun shop = priceless.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I would not assume "Jospeh" is a misspelling. I have been a teacher for many years and I have worked with diverse groups and I have gotten to the point that I never question the spelling of a person's name or assume I will get the pronunciation right!

So now we know what happens to bad penguins. They are sent to a Supermax facility made of candy canes. Some are executed for their heinous crimes and are doomed to haunt deformed igloos.

WV: steral
Workin' at the nuculer plant made me steral.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

"Flower dump" needed no explanation, unfortunately; it was a bit too easy to recognize--TMI indeed.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

Say what you will about Pistol Pete, at least he got his apostrophes right.

December 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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