My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Here, There, and Everywhere

All together, now!

Hip, hip, it's hip to not care!

It's not too hard to figure out; I see it every day.

And those who are the laziest have gone the Wrecky way.

You see them in the bakery,

It don't look like a lot of fun.

But don't you try to right it,

'Cuz Cake Wrecks' time has come!

Don't tell me that they're crazy,

Don't tell me they're aware,

Cuz I can see what's going on:

It's hip to not care!

(Here, there, and "'cross entire front."

Hip, hip, so hip to not care!)

Kerensa, Doug B., Bree A., & Duana S., you might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care. I still like Huey Lewis and the News.

From john: Hey guys! We think that probably everything is fixed with the formatting on the page. If it's still wonky for you, however, would you e-mail me and tell me about it at comments(at) Thanks! -j

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Reader Comments (77)

I want to celebrate in the middle!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

At least they didn't say "Underneat that" on the second to last one!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHansueter

"Happy Birthday Down There"
Possible Explanations:

-Anniversary of a gender-change operation
-Family member moved to Australia and then had a birthday and you don't understand the term "Down Under"
-Cake for a Roloff family birthday
-Send it to the neighbor that you're stalking who lives directly below you in your apartment complex

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor


These types of wrecks do not do much for my faith in humanity. Or "intelligent design". Or just general intelligence. . . .

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Those never get old. It never ceases to amaze me that people can make that mistake, and then actually sell the cake. Truely talented individuals must work at these bakeries, or should it be wreckeries?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Oh, Literal LOLs, I never tire of you.

Happy Birthday Down There just sounds dirty. Naughty, naughty snowman!

That last one is a cautionary tale for what happens when you try to make a CCC (ptooie!) into a regular ole sheet cake. And if you're really, really lucky, you'll get a literal writing mishap in *addition* to your nonsensical pink amoeba with two wobbly hearts for eyeballs. It's two wrecks for the price of one!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I shall now be singing Huey Lewis songbook all day. My husband thanks you.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

So,... the snow persons "lady parts" are having a birthday what about the rest?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Have bakeries learned nothing from the "Underneat that" cake?
These should be part of the cake decorator hiring process: What do you see wrong with this? Nothing? OK, thanks for coming in. No, don't call us, we'll call you ... if we need you.

By the way, I posted yesterday about the overlapping showing up in Firefox, but today everything looks fine and normal.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy birthday down there??? Uh, my junk doesn't have a separate birthday....

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

* blink * * blink * * blink *

Idiocracy is now....

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir


They are all such pretty cakes -- even the CCC is well done. Perhaps the best CCC you've shown.

Why can't they just leave well-enough alone?

wv: realit
what a wreckerator writes on a cake for a real estate agent

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

*Snort* LOVE, Love, love the combination of Huey and Suess.

I cannot even imagine what idiots continue to insist on putting the 'directions' on the cake along with the 'names'.

Are they now hoping to join the infamous on this marvelous Wrecky site?

Many, many thanks to you for all the laughter I receive when I come in daily.

As to the snowman -- I guess boobs would be blue if made of snow? Nasty snowman down there.


June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha!!!! happy Birthday "Down there."

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So sad, yet so LOLZ.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Colder than a snowperson's boobs!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm about to go pick up a cake for a work luncheon. Maybe I'll have a new wreck to share!

Amy Raz

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How DO you celebrate in the middle? The poor wallflowers get left out....

Does a snowman HAVE a down there to celebrate? (snowball fight, anyone?)

The maker of Ellen's cake OBVIOUSLY has never heard of Cake Wrecks. They just repeated the Original Sin.

Ah, a freeform CCC! possibly the only "acceptable" kind since there's no real shape to be judged by. pretty little flowers, too. Shame they botched the directions. It may have looked nice with a lovely scrolling "Averie" across the front, rather than "across entire Front (squished)"

wv: predwin. the early morning hours that bakers get to work. which could explain a lot of these mistakes from sleepy hungover staffers.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

@Taylor. I like your theories. Especially for wishing a birthday to someone somewhere "down there." Could even be someone who moved south. And the celebrants are having a cake up north in their honor. Virtual birthday!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday down there--is someone wishing a friend "gets lucky" on their birthday?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What is the last one supposed to be, besides a dreaded CCC?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeserlee

Awesome post once again! I don't know how you do it.... You never seem to run out of material. :)

PS - no problems here John. I'm using Firefox though. :)

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

No, no, is very simply a conspiracy.
Don't you see? These clowns want to be in your next BOOK!!! If the next one is already full, then they want to be in the NEXT next book. Or the one underneat that.
Don't fall for it.
Some people just have no skroopuls, y'know?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm assuming that these cake writers don't speak English and they are just copying directly from the work order...

But, it's still ridiculous! lol!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQGBFH

Is that a hermaphrodite snowperson? not very anatomically correct...Oh, silly me. That's a scarf and those are mittens. Silly me! you just never know these days!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Taylor: "Cake for a Roloff family birthday"

Oh no, you di-n't! That's a low one (but it's nice to know I'm not the only TLC junkie out there!).

Great post as always, Jen.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok...I will admit I had to look at the snowman a second time. I thought it was here because of blue boobs. However after re examining the wording it does say down here. I thought it said Doctor There...figured it to be for a plastic surgeon with the blue body

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Yep, that snowman is having a party down there! Oh yeah.... C'mon baby, don't you want to melt with me?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Oh, I read it as "Happy birthday, Doron Thero." Strange name.

They've combined Three Dog Night's "Celebrate" with Stealers Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle."

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

These cakes make me want to slap myself...since I can't slap the person who made them!!!


June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nothing short of sheer awesomeness! These always make me glad I don't drink while reading Cake Wrecks.

\m/ *.* \m/

Happy Birthday Down There?? You know, when my crotch has a birthday, actually ALLLL the rest of me will have a birthday! You don't need to single it out like that :P

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Seriously. Are these people doing this on purpose?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Wondering if the ancient Egyptians ran into this sort of trouble when they were getting their graves decorated... then again, likely not, since there was probably a penalty of 40 lashes for typos. :0

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterW.Peabody

Oops, my comment didn't load.

Which is just as well. I got to reading other comments and you've all pretty much summed up my confusion.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

If you ever get in a pinch and need someone to write the blog for you, I think my 3-year old daughter might be the one. About the last cake, she says, "Whoa, is that red boat a cake? It has a butterfly on it. Is that a butterfly? Is that a cake?" :)

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama Martinez

Maybe the recipient of the snow-blob cake had an, um, "reshaping" of parts "down there", and thus they have a seperate "birth" date? And that's why the scarf, with it's two red tips, points to the nether-regions? The hole in the white icing at that location and the tacked-on blue circles on the chest imply what was once a snow man is now a snow-woman!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Seriously, how can people who do these cakes still have jobs? My sister and I have been trying to become cake decorators for the last couple of years but they wont hire us because we dont have any college training since we learned ours from other cake decorators, but our portfolio show great cakes. and here we have people who have the job and cant even understand what they are suppose to put on the cake! Oh geez!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Taylor... ROFL at ROLOFF!

other than that... oh. my. gravy!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

Ahh the classics. I think these are my favorite kind of wrecks. I mean, nobody could intentionally make mistakes like these, it's just pure wreck.

(under that)

Have a great weekend!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

These are my favorite kinds of wrecks because you can totally hear the conversation that took place!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it is time for some good old fashioned shame - you know that stuff of Victorian times. If you posted the source of these cakes you might be doing the English majors and hapless customers a service; but then I wouldn't be rushing to my computer each morning for yet another edition of idiocy. Keep up the good work Jen and John. Keep up the good comments everyone else. You are part of the fun. I live in a community that insists that accommodate has one M. You don't want to waste any Ms in Modesto after all.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After the suggestive scrawlings of the first two, I was expecting the rest of the post to continue in that vein.

Didn't happen, though, did it?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoland

Let's celebrate that the "let's celebrate" cake is correctly apostrophized!

Literal LOLs are my faves.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What amazes me are how clueless the customers are who insist on writing instructions for decorating in the message section of the order form. Maybe the wreckerators are just fed up with having to second guess the "always right" customer!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

Happy Birthday Down There sounds like more fun than my last birthday!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

OMG awesome! now I'll be singing that the rest of the day! ...."so hip to not care"...bwaahahaaha!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFoxrn211

I have to think that these kinds of mistakes are made by people who can't read English and are just copying the letters on the form down without comprehending them at all.

Because I can't imagine how this kind of thing can happen otherwise...

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPai

I'm thinking the average supermarket wreckarator must maintain a pretty good buzz in order to think these inscriptions make sense.
wreckarator 1 -- Let's celebrate in the middle. That's deep. Don't wait until it's all over to celebrate. Do it know while you're in the middle of things.
Wreckerator 2 -- Oh, I thought the cake was like directions to the party you know, the middle of the road or the middle of the park. Wow. Cake can be really thought provoking.

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

All this here and there, sorta makes me want to do the hokey pokey!!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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