My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Jock Glitch

Wow, guys. How about that game yesterday, huh? Hoo boy!

Yessir, it would have been hard to predict THAT outcome!

Much like it would have been hard to write this post two days ago because I had to catch up on Downton Abbey urgent things to do on Sunday. Or maybe my power went out. It could have. YOU DON'T KNOW. [poker face]

Alright, look, it's long been established that sports fans speak their own language. And I'm not judging! Dude, I once wore a Bajoran earring and Starfleet insignia. TO HIGH SCHOOL. So believe me, I'm not gonna say word one if you guys want to call it the:

Or if you believe you've contracted:

(Just tell me there's no lancing involved. At least not the icky kind. Actual lancing with horses and knights and stuff would be kind of awesome.)


And I'll only snicker a little when you cheer on your:

"Fire at will, Number One! It's evacuating the rear exhaust ports!"


And hey, just because "The kich 15 good" means nothing to me, that doesn't mean I respect you sport people any less!

I'll just respond with a little "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" and we'll call it even!


After all, you guys have your "Patrits:"

And your "Gaints Beat Patroits:"

And we have Tribbles and Reavers and Sith lords. (Oh my!)


You score "Toachdowns:"

Or "Tochdowns:"

And we reconfigure the programming on our Kobayashi Marus.

Which, just for the record, is NOT CHEATING.

See what I mean? We're basically all the same! We all have our passions, and our quirks, and sometimes - SOMETIMES - we all make mistakes.

But seriously, guys, I have no idea what you're talking about. Can someone translate this into Klingon for me?


Hey Mary M., Melissa M., Lynn H., Dan H., Erin W., Amber G., Molly S., Jessica S., Sara J., & Janette R., lupDujHomwIj lubuy'moH gharghmey! So I hope you like sushi.

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Reader Comments (96)

I only have two questions. (Hey, it's early)

1- Where can I get the football pong app advertised in the last cake?

2- Do you still have that Bajoran earring? Cuz THAT would be cool...

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Ha! I feel like we should be friends. I once wore a Bajoran earring (clip on, of course) and Starfleet communicator badge to school in Middle School. Okay... maybe more than once. And not on Halloween.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMonicaC

Temba, his arms wide.
As in, throw the ball already!
Kich it! Skor! Tochdown!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

My best guess on that last one is that the cake was botched (the numbering is off - WAY off!) and they intended to write "OOPS" on it to indicate that the cake had a mistake on it, and botched that up, too.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Eel? Nah, I'll pass.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Why would you want it translated into Klingon? Wouldn't it make much more sense to translate Football into Quidditch?? Since they're both sports, an' all that stuff.

Ditto on the Bajoran earring!! We KNOW you still have it; stuff like that doesn't get thrown AWAY...! so Pics; plz. =D


February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbyrdie

"Shaka, when the walls fell."

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

As a matter of fact, I did attend a joust yesterday ... in SecondLife. hehe

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRenee Marie Jones

just to point out...the "Souper Bowl" cookie might have been on purpose. A lot of churches sponsor a soup luncheon on the day of the big game and donate proceeds to local soup kitchens, etc. So just maybe it was right. Nah, they just can't spell!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTamiko

When my neighbors started shooting off fireworks at 9:55 last night, I thought they were celebrating the current unfortunate condition of the evil Mrs. Bates, so these cakes make perfect sense to me.

Perhaps these decorators assume that football fans can't spell anyway, so...

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I spent the day watching season 1 of Downton Abby...was there a football game on?? I am now hooked of course :-)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

What does it say about me that I understood every reference to Star Trek? (and I was watching Doctor Who reruns BEFORE I watched Downton Abbey, so I missed the game)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpagopago

Ok, so I feel like I might need to turn in my nerd card, but what are the "Reapers" you are referring to? I know "Reavers" which would also work in the collection with Tribbles and Sith Lords.

[Editor's note- Bwoops. We meant to say "Reavers" (from Firefly) but we just started watching Supernatural and episode 12 is about the Reaper. Good catch. -john]

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDerek

Gilgamesh and Enkidu at Uruk.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhillip Wilde

I think these are all Super Bowl commercial cakes (some of which were for rejected commercials.)

1. For that "Here we go" beer ad -- apparently the dog's name is spelled "Whaiagooh@," pronounced "wee go" (in Welsh, I think.)
2. A Campbell's Soup ad for their new 45 ounce serving.
3. From our nation's cotton growers, alerting us to a resistant strain of flu caused by boll weevils.
4. Activia's entry -- or maybe "Go Daddy." ("Go Daddy" ads always have an impact on my digestive tract...)
5. From Angie's List, for finding a contractor: It indicates the bid of $15,000 for the kitchen is good. (It's technically a wreck, since they left the "t" out of "kitch.")
6. It's an ad for "Downton Abbey," cheering on those patrician Crawleys in below stairs slang.
7. A teaser for the new show "How to Speak like a Cajun." Having never watched the show, I have NO IDEA what it's supposed to say.
8. That little splat in at the top is "Toach" and he's most definitely down. It's another new sitcom.
9. I don't know, but it sounds Yiddish -- I'll ask my friend's bubbe.
10. For the movie about "Special Ops." (This "opp" is pretty special.)

Now excuse me, I have to go feed my tribbles a few grains of quadrotriticale.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Maybe "Dead like me"??
I don't understand Rugby, so I am going nowhere near American Football, even though the BBC are advertising it like crazy.
Watched Downton Abbey at Christmas- have you got that far yet??

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKirri

I wore my Bajoran earring in my senior photo. I know exactly where you're coming from :P

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Aaauuuugggg Downton Abby. My gosh. What are they going to do. I mean, what if he... And would that mean that she... And is she really going to... Man, best show going right now.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Moran! His sails unfurled!

Haiku Joy FTW today; I bow to your geeky coolness. :)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeahR

Jen, you are just the coolest, geekiest person around.
Except John.
OK, it's a tie between you and John.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Hey Jen,

My calico cat (Bast rest her soul) was named Beast of Tanagra. I knew I had met the right guy when he actually recognized the reference!

Thanks for everything!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbatcat

So much awesome geekery in this post... Which is good, to counteract all the "sports-ish." Emphasis on the "ish." I was going to post the next line to "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" as well, but it appears I've been ninja'd on that by at least a couple of people, so I won't bother. And Kirk totally wasn't cheating. Spock needs to lighten up a bit.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Jock Glitch. nice.

I don't know about the bottom of the page, but the first few MUST be trying to avoid copyright infringement. I applaud their legal savvy.

And how much do I LOVE the 40 yard football field in the last photo?! oh so much.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

"Temba, his arms wide."

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Yeah - why did Bates have that mark, and his reaction to the telegram, and .....
The fact that Cakewrecks has merged with Downton Abbey (with Star Wars / Princess Bride / other geekery thrown in) has to be proof of Intelligent Design. One blog to discuss them all!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

There was a game yesterday? You mean a different game, 'cause my team was busy with a steampunk influenced role playing game via Skype!

(Yes, I'm one-upping the geek quotient)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video

Number One? Don't you mean Number Two?

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I have nothing much intellegent to say. Just that I bow to your fantastic geekyness. :) And someone should organize a Cakewrecks / Epbot convention with Jen and John as the guests of honour. And we could all wear our Bajoran earrings and our Star Wars shirts and our steampunk gadgets and eat cake adjorned with carrot jockeys and we'd all be so happy basking in the awesomeness. :)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

OMG! *Spraying tea at the computer screen!* I didn't have to watch the game to be entertained! Thank you Jen!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

Ahh, I also enjoyed the Trek references! The cakes were funny too :)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Someone I know is most likely very annoyed today at the result of the Super Bowl. Someone on the winning team deliberately injured his favorite player years ago.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Are you sure the one spelled "Souper" is a cakewreck? Every year for the past upteen years, youth groups in churches nationwide have conducted a "soup" fund raiser on Super Bowl Sunday and named it "Souper Bowl Sunday". All the non-perishable foods gathered are donated to foodbanks across the United States. I would like to think positive in that this one wasn't a cakewreick......but you never know.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra - Perhaps the best episode ever.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJingle

Yeah, I think the Souper Bowl wreckerator must have been distracted by all the Souper Bowl of Caring ads in the store. Although it's no excuse for wrecking. Love all the geeky references! My son is lobbying to go to Botcon over in Dallas in April.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjuliet

Great post. I've often made the same point about geekdom not being inherently weirder than sports fandom. However, I now want to see a follow-up post with misspelled geeky cakes that are as funny as the sports ones.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGG

Is it just me, or does that last one look like a Nintendo update of PONG?

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" - Shut UP! I heart you, Jen - you made my geeky day -

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendi

All my gold pressed latinum for the toachdown football cake!!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

OMG. I just got the connection between Kobayashi Maru and Eureka Maru!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

Best post ever. Love the Sci-fi. It's kind of my life.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCecily

OMG - I just realized the connection between Kobayashi Maru and the Eureka Maru. Shiney! (I believe Harper said it first.)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

You know, one day some over-achiever really WILL translate this to Klingon for you -- and then where will you be??

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLillian

Kobayashi Marus is still probably the best sounding name out there. Especially over Tochdown

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittleLovables

Cool! YOU wore a Bajoran earring to high school too?!?

@Batcat: My husband proposed to me the night we met because I quoted "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" in casual conversation. I didn't accept that time--he was WAY drunk, and we had just met. But I did accept 3 months later. Our 16th anniversary was last August.

Jen, I spent last night watching the "Being Human Catch-Up Marathon" on SyFy. Although from reports, I am beginning to be sorry I missed Madonna's halftime show. It apparently contained dancing penguins and someone on a tightrope?

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

My variations on getting annoying non-geeks to go away vary between "Go away", "BEGONE, DOOMED WRETCH! and "I used to be an idiot like you, until I took an arrow to the knee"

P.S: Anyone get the Skyrim reference?

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterG

I wore a bajoran earing and starfleet insignia to highschool, too! Along with a prosthetic bumpy nose bridge I'd made of latex. Ah, kindred spirits. No wonder your blog always makes me laugh.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentervelda

These people give illeterates a bad name :/ @Haiku joy lolol

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

So no one else noticed the Super Bowl XLV cookie cake when the one that just passed was XLVI? Mistake or last year's offering?

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMV

I am such a sci fi geek/nerd I loved this post! Keep it coming Jen and John!

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

I love it when I can geekily and gleefully giggle at every, single Geekdom reference you make, along with every, single wreck you share. Good post. Good. Post.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarla | Bakingdom

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