My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hump Day Hoedown

When your mom's a proud Texan celebrating her 64th birthday, you might think ordering a cake that says, "Happy Birthday, Cowgirl!" is a good idea.

And maybe it is, IF your baker writes it down right:




Thanks to Cat D. for reminding us that you can never put a price on a mother's love. Especially hers.

« What a Mom Wants | Main | 50 Ways to Peeve Your Mother »

Reader Comments (41)

Did she work in the best little whorehouse in Texas :P

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Too funny!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBobieM-T

"Babies, don't let your Mammas grow up to be Call Girls"

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That is so awesome! My derby name is HoeDown- so that made my day first, but that cake was sheer awesome. I hope mommmy has a good sense of humor!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersamantha

I wish we had pictures of everyone's faces when this cake was placed on the table. Priceless! Was Mom making an "announcement"?!?

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

The vomited packing peanuts are a nice touch.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

@Sharyn for the win!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Perhaps simply a case of poor grammar...or a frosting shortage.. this cake was sent from a mother who merely wanted to hear from her daughter: Happy Birthday! Call, Girl.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

@samantha where do you skate?

Maybe mom has a past that the baker knows about!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

With some regional accents, I can see how it might be hard to tell the difference. Still...

Let's hope the error was on the part of the cake decorator. "Hey, Mom, what did you used to do before you got married? ... Really? Uh, okay... I'm open-minded, just surprised..."

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Ah ha! Remember Amber'? I think this is her cake!
(see CW Achieves 11-3-11)

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Wonder if there was an accidental switch, and this cake was supposed to go to The Chicken Ranch?

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

What are those things on the top right of the cake? I think Fluffy Cow got it right.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

Naive cousin from Amarillo: "Golly, Martha, I never realized you worked in telephone customer service!"

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Nothing says Happy Birthday Call Girl like a cluster of nuts.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Is that a smattering of caramel corn up on the top left?? WTH?

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

@mel I think you could be on to something
For the ones too busy/lazy to search:

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNight Owl

@samantha -- Derby greetings! When I NSO'd my teams called me Santa Claws. Cake Wrecks and derby. ..just doesn't get any better. ..gotta love frosting and flat track! What team do you skate with?

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

When I opened the webpage, all I could see was the Happy Birthday on the cake, and thought "uh oh". Then I scrolled down and burst out laughing!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue M

Dang, I'm a Texan and I know how to pronounce "COWgirl"...our accents are usually thick enough to make cow sound like "cayow" and call sounds like...well..."cawll"...

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

About as bad as the sign shop where I used to work. We had a customer come in and order a banner. One of our new artist took the order and was really proud of her design job for the upcoming "Corn Show". Lot's of nice graphics around the border of corn stalks & indian corn. Imagine the customer's surprize when he came back to pick up his banner for the "COIN Show"!!!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDwayne

I want to see the photo of the wreckerator after the recipient smashed the cake into his/her face. Because we know that totally happened.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

@Amanda -- I think that a "cluster of nuts" is what keeps her in business.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

@Night Owl: thanks for the link.

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Perhaps the title should read humping day "ho"down

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

@mel Thanks for NSO ing!! That' is one tough job. My daughter just skated in an invitational last weekend and I help coach junior fresh meat. SW Sask. New benchmarks are tough. Love both Cake Wrecks and Flat Track...gotta have my daily dose of each!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Mel, I never, ever, EVER woulda guessed you do roller derby! Wow. I love skating but confess I'm too chicken for that! I'll stick to sparring. ;-)

And as a Texan, I must agree with Denita. How could they possibly get 'Call' out of 'Cow'?! Could the Wreckerator's mind been in the gutter that day? Maybe he was possibly preoccupied with thoughts of who he was going to see that night?!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

(hangs head in shame)
all I can think to say is, "Cat D., so who's your daddy?"

(sorry. so sorry.)

(I also work in a call center so I guess that makes me a call girl...)

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Ela: my pleasure...and I hope to be back at it with a new team....Thanks for coaching! (If you ever want to talk derby, this is my email: CakeWrecks has been almost literally a life-saver for me, with derby coming in there close behind. I start each day with CakeWrecks, whether I comment or not...nothing beats laughter to begin the day! And I enjoy coming back for the comments. This really is one funny, funny group of folks, all encouraged by the extremely creative, clever and funny Jen and john (thoj)!

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@KarateLady: I'm an avid derby active derby role is as an NSO -- which is a Non-Skating Official...I don't skate -- too old and my knees would not give their permission, lol.....) Generally, I manage the penalty box (we time skater's penalties). In addition, I am a sponsor for some skaters. Frosting and flat track, and for me, life is good!

@Barbara Anne.....a call girl? that your cake? (Good to see you here!) (smiling)

May 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Lol!! I wonder what mom thought of this cake. Man I hope if they brought that home that they got mom a bunch of roses. Evil wreckerators.

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Mel and @Ela I'm from Wyoming, My team just turned 1, so we are realtively new! I skate with the Coal Miner's Daughters out of Gillette!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersamantha

@ mel - oops. Yeah, I looked up NSO *after* I made my post. :-/ Sounds like you're actually appreciated unlike the officiants in other sports, which makes derby ladies pretty darn classy. (But you knew that, didn't cha? :-) There is a new derby rink in my neck of the woods. Think I'd go NSO too - not sure I should try competing @ my age either. One knee was injured years ago & re-injured in karate a few years back.

And I just realized my aunt was a Call Girl ...for Ma Bell! :-) Worked there her whole career. I think she woulda been tickled to get a cake like this, though I'm not sure she would have caught the double entendre. She passed last fall and was 76+ yrs old. We Love you, Aunt Winnie!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@KarateLady: Go for it!! NSO'ing is not only fun, but derby people are great -- some of the nicest people you'll ever meet... and, yes, the ladies are classy. You'll have fun and help the team!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Listen, if she still has what it takes to be a call girl at 64, more power to her!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I have a sudden urge to find out if there's a derby in my neck o' the woods. Not to skate. Not to NSO. Just to sit in the back by the door and hope nobody notices me while I check it all out. Sounds fun.

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Thank You Jen and John (thoj) for letting us chat derby! I totally agree with mel, about this being an awesome site. Thanks for letting us play!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

@Just Andrea don't hesitate to ask lots of questions, if you go. It will be easier to understand/follow. Most bouts will have volunteers walking around who will answer your questions or find someone who knows the answers. Enjoy!!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

@mel not only am I a call girl (8 hours a day with a headset on) but I've gone to 3 roller derby matches in the last year! so much fun. :) I highly recommend it and there's always families at the day matches. the late night ones are a little rougher and the music's a little trashier but that's not a complaint from me!

May 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Barbara Anne: awesome! (smiles, sighs....)

May 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

In the weirdness of my brain the combination of the call girl cake and the derby talk has put "Whip It" in my head.

May 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

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