The Apostrophe Is Silent

(ATTN PARENTS: This post contains material somewhat "adult" in nature.)

Once upon a time there was a girl named Amber.

Amber decided that school was not for her. Fortunately, she had loving and supportive parents.

One day Amber was offered an exciting new job. To celebrate, she added an apostrophe to her name, thinking it would make her seem more sophisticated. Again, her parents were supportive.

Unfortunately, introducing herself as "Amber - the apostrophe is silent" did not yield the results Amber was hoping for. Still, she did make some new friends at work: Cassie the C...er...Cat, and "Long Lips" Lisa.

Of course, every job has its hazards:

Which Lisa and Cassie were always there to commiserate with:

Then one day, after an unfortunate misunderstanding between the girls and a city health inspector looking for "clogged plumbing", disaster:

Amber said goodbye to her newfound - albeit diseased - friends, and despaired over finding another job to suit her rather unique skill set and wardrobe. Fortunately, her ever-supportive parents were way ahead of her:

THE END.

Thanks to today’s illustrious Wreckporters Wendy E., Monique R., Alex H., Michele D., & Amber (no apostrophe) S., and Alexa B.

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Now here's a gift for the angels in your life:

Rose Angel Keepsake

This palm-sized glass angel has pretty flowers inside, which comes in 10 different colors! The dark blue and purple arrangements are my favorites, but click through to see them all.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Keen for Quinoa

Bakers, with Thanksgiving coming up, I think you need to see this.

This, my friends, is a turkey.

Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?

Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!

In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:

Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:

"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."

Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.

Like flamingos...

Or your least favorite cousin...

Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:

"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."

Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:

Honestly, it's uncanny.

Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!

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Have y'all tried nail wraps? They're all the rage, my friends love them - but the brand names cost about $8 a set. I found this Fall collection on Amazon with decent reviews, though, and you get a dozen sets for only $13:

Thanksgiving Nail Decal Set

Cuuuuute.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: