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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb082019

What's Mold Is News Again

MOLD.

The silent killer that lurks in your pastries.

Lurking, like a silent killer... WHO LURKS.

 

Yeah, like that.

 

Mold is responsible for untold deaths, dismemberments, and icky gag-fests the world over.

Plus it's gross.

 

But who is to blame for this malicious fungus of death?

[picture of grim reaper wearing a baker's hat]

 

We went right to the source, to ask the tough questions and get the exclusive answers that only Wrecks News can provide.

[video of well dressed woman running toward random baker]

 

"Sir! Can you tell me why your bakery hates America? And children? How many American children have you personally dismembered? Is it true you perform deadly experiments on the state park pigeons? What's up with that, you sicko?

"Hey, come back here!!"

[turning to face camera]

"Well, there you have it, my friends. Bakers hate America. Back to you, Sally!"

 

Thanks to our wreckporters Chris H., Rane M., Jill H., Amy S., Jessica B., Kate K., & Tami F.. Coming up next: can cake make you skinny?! The new diet sensation sweeping the nation!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Thursday
Feb072019

7 Cakes For "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week"

You know I love love, minions, but it's the week before Valentines Day. This is no time to get soft! No, we must be HARD. And DRIVEN. And I DIDN'T mean to make this a dong joke, but HERE. WE. ARE.

Ahem.

Let's start over.

Do you have a significant jerk in your life? Is it time for a fresh start? Do you need a cake to help you break things off? Then get comfy, my friend, and allow me to present some prime dumping options:

1) Give it some finality:

"Also it's not me, it's you."

 

2) Try some good old-fashioned mocking:

I'm guessing Shawn doesn't like "girly" stuff like pink flowers and overthrowing the patriarchy. YOUR LOSS, DUDE.

 

3) Remember, it's the thought that counts:

Also we're equal opportunity dumpers here. Buh-bye, Roxanne.

(Here's an easy mnemonic: you'll want to dance once the in-laws leave. So it's "riddance.")

 

4) Draw her as a weasel:

You laugh, but with the proper setup I bet an icing weasel could be devastating.

 

Of course, if you want to dump someone with cake, why not use a dump cake?

As you might imagine, I have a few options in this category:

5) The Poo-Poo Platter:

Here' you've got your basic poo-wangs and poopermint patties, plus a scattering of rabbit pellets, 'cuz there just wasn't enough crap on this cake.

 

6) The "You're A Dried-Up Old Turd:

Ew.

 

7) The "Thanks, But I'LL PASS":

"Also maybe see a doctor, because something is seriously wrong with you."

 

Thanks to dumpees Justin C., Thomas B., Roxanne S., Kevin B., Ashley M., Danielle P., & Tauni J. for getting it all out there. Don't you feel better?

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: