Yes, Bakers Are Still Making Disgusting Baby Shower Cakes

Warning: Graphic cakes of a medical nature to follow. Hide the kids, and hold on to your appetites!

Additional Helpful Warning from john (the hubby of Jen): There's lady bits ahead.

 

Remember when all we had to worry about on baby shower cakes was the occasional creepy doll or demonic ultrasound photo?

Next were the boob and belly cakes, because apparently moms-to-be harbor sado-cannabalistic tendencies:

kaseyval.lw.pregnantbellywithfoot.jpg

Then they added those Alien-inspired belly-burster baby feet - which is SUPER fun to say three times fast. (Go on, try it. You know you want to.)

 

Soon even celebs like Christina Aguilera were getting in on the gross-out-your-guests act:

SandyRos-FB-christinaaguillara.jpg

 

So how do you top edible naked moms giving birth?
Why, make the cake wet plastic shiny and embed a bunch of CLEAR GELATIN, of course.

LindaGer.lw.bellycake.jpg

Mmm, that's the stuff.

 

Or you could go for classic realism:

DarrenWal-FB-babycake.jpg

Sure, everyone will 'ooh' and 'ahhh' - until the carving knife comes out.
("No, no, YOU serve." "No, you!" "Maybe we'll just have ice cream.")

(If you need more nightmares, just look at this baby cake being sliced.)

 

But for maximum hurkin'-in-the-gherkins, there's really no beating the spread leg, peek-a-boo head:

devonhal.lw.birthing.jpg

With extra jam filling.

 

 

Hang on, it's missing something. No, not feet. Or a torso. Or common decency.

PUBIC HAIR!

Lynds28terbergg29-TW-babyshoweratwork.jpg

Ah, so much better.

 

But really, aren't those legs kind of, I dunno, unnecessary?

I mean, let's get back to basics, people:

maggie28sweetie_260929.ow.birthing.jpg

All a good dessert needs is stretched vagina lips, and a crowning fetus head. Am I right, or am I right?

 

 

Thanks to Kasey V., Sandy R., Linda G., Darren W., Devon H., Lynds, & Maggie for understanding that there was really no good way to censor those last three, short of blacking out the whole photo. Which would be preferable, but less educational.

*****

Hmm, I wonder if "uncomfortably realistic baby shower cake" is on this list?

Sunday Sweets Gets Corny

It's Popcorn Day! Woo woo!

Quick, let's have some cake. :D

Screen+Shot+2020-01-12+at+10.48.27+PM.jpg

(Little Hunny's Cakery, online classes)

Bakers use all sorts of clever tricks to make sugary popcorn for their cakes. Some cut & airbrush little marshmallows:

4cdc150799c57e53441d7771785b647d.jpg

(Cake Central member PieceOfCakeTx)

 And others pipe little balls & hand-paint the insides of the "kernels".

e1e3f5a262163d1b920f320e01823786.jpg

(Cake Central member hluterbach)

I did a triple-take on this one. The popcorn is all buttercream! WOW.

Some bakers use intricate molds to make hundreds of individual sugar paste kernels:

1dc396415f87c26df30180c5f6652c87.jpg

(TK Delights, Pennsylvania)

... which is so convincing, it's getting hard to tell which popcorn is real, and which is sugar!

Other bakers hand make their popcorn kernels, no molds:

10841748_768386663252876_1160775831145955102_o.jpg

(Andrea's Sweet Cakes, Canada)

That's a labor of love - and I am LOVING all the candy colors on this one. 

Most popcorn cakes are movie-themed, but this one shines especially bright:

9982479339018bc560234e083b54cfa6.jpg

(Cakes By Samantha, UK)

Those spotlights are brilliant! And check out the detail in the "wood" floorboards.

 Oh hey, I left out the most obvious option for a popcorn cake: using real popcorn!

Screen+Shot+2020-01-12+at+10.56.55+PM.jpg

(Baked, Ontario)

This baker airbrushed her popcorn in rainbow colors, which almost makes it look like it's covered in flowers, right?

Check out her popcorn tray before she decorated the cake:

Screen+Shot+2020-01-12+at+10.58.23+PM.jpg

SO PRETTY. I kind of want to do this for our next movie night.

Here's another super different, super cool idea:

Screen+Shot+2020-01-12+at+10.52.11+PM.jpg

(Honey Frosting, Nigeria)

 The tear-away section almost makes this an illusion cake, like it's a bag of popcorn masquerading as a cake! When in fact it's a cake masquerading as a bag of popcorn masquerading as a cake. Ha!

Makes my brain hurt a little, but in a good way.

I don't know if the popcorn is real or sugar paste, but I love this cake design:

geifir3hup4j1cunbfbo.jpg

(Kek Couture, Turkey)

The contrasting textures of the popcorn with the cotton candy is dreamy, and I love the little gold bees.

And finally, an illusion cake so convincing I didn't quite believe it 'til I saw the cake cut:

966efdbde8540db6ffd7b5a6695c36e0+%281%29.jpg

(How To Cook That, Australia)

WOW!

Not only is this an incredible illusion, it reminds me of the time - a million years ago - when my folks would make popcorn on the stove. Happy memories!

Oh yes, and just so YOU can be convinced, too, here it is cut:

d743ec142d4dc220840d5ed5f3037db5+%281%29.jpg

Ahhh-mazing.

I hope these made your Sunday a little sweeter, gang.  Happy Sunday!

*****

Men's Novelty Popcorn Socks

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: