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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb102010

From the Bottom of My...Bottom

Why give your heart to that special someone this Valentine's Day, when you can give him/her something even more special:

your colon.

You know, this is so moving, I think I feel a song coming on. That, or a bad case of stomach flu. [head tilt] No, no...I'm pretty sure it's a song. (Whew!) Ok, then - c'mon, everyone, sing it with me!

Laast V-day, I gave you my heart,
But the very next day, you gave it away.
Thiiiis year, to save me from tears,
I'm gonna give you my co-lon (colon!)

Psst. Soon everyone will want the coffee cake colon, Charissa B. - pass it on!

- Related Wreckage: Valentine's "Winners"

« TMI Valentines | Main | Conditions Froggy »

Reader Comments (128)

Jen, can you find out the real story behind this?
Was it for a doctor or someome wo beat cancer/
Im SURE these's a good explanation

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMisty pig

Just had to sing the song out loud. LOVE it!

Thanks for the laugh, Jen!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I love you so much, I ripped out my colon and served it up on a platter for you, honey. Top that."

Yuck.

TJB

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTJ Bennett

I've never been so "moved"! How could anyone pass this up? It's the perfect cake for when you need to drop the kids off at the pool party.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

That took guts.

Wrecker knew a bit about anatomy, but got it wrong. Not even just upside down or backwards, just... wrong.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

Ohhhh, the red goop pouring over the edges (or is it trying to escape) really does it for me. That's the most offensive thing I've ever seen come out of a place that sells food.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefRobrts

Oh, Jen- I love your song! That tune tortures me each Christmas & I'm glad to see it being put to better use. That's too "special!"

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdalee

At first glance I thought it was a lobster cake.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

With the creepy "I love you" scrawled over to one side, I'd say this is a pretty big contender for a stalker cake.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

That has to be the grossest cake I have ever seen! What was the baker thinking?
W: pridness
The baker obviously has no pridness in his work.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, ew.

Not to mention - I curse you. I have had that stupid song in my head since reading this post over an hour ago. AARGHHHHHH!

Diana

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cake's nasty, yes. But it was worth seeing just for the song. I totally cracked up! (And now I'll be singing it for the rest of the day.)

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershaunjoy

Wow, this cake is much pretty disturbing.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I...I really should have known better than to eat while coming here. xD That is absolutely repulsive. It makes me question the sanity of humanity sometimes. Good god. D:

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterune-insomniaque

Somewhere in the world, George Michael is so sorry he didn't think of that one first, I'm sure. :D

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

nice wham! reference. that cake is almost shocking. eww.
-helen

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The best explanation I can come up with is cartoon-style, overly lipsticked lips... maybe?

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I go with the lobster mutant colon valentine's day innard cake/roll. I wonder if the filling is similar to red velvet cake?

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

¨Mama, it´s meat with mushies!?¨ Gideon, 2yrs

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercarolyn

*runs screaming*

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

The label says:
Large Coffee Cake with Icing

10.00

How could they go and ruin something so good?

Womstr- Must be the monster the wrecktator had in mind when making this cake.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Yeah, I didn't see that as a colon. I saw hoo-ha of the female variety. Although I gotta say, it would be pretty cool to have a hoo-ha that says "I love you" in a very threatening manner.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa M

HeeHeeHee!!! A 'Wham!' Reference! Love it!! The cakes...not so much.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren S.

Yeah. Totally what I dig for V-Day. "Here, honey. I, um, bought you an oversized, uh, body organ..." Wife: *screech!* "...to *eat*." Wife: *thudunk* (hits the floor). Too Row-a-mantic for words. Thanks CW! :)

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

y'know...I think this "cake" really IS meat!

Perhaps smoked salmon, even.

And the scary looking I LOVE YOU?

I think it's written in mayonnaise.

WV: jarly -- this thing is way jarly.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see two red sea horses rubbing noses, but I'm just happy it's not the usual demons screaming at me to do bad things.

Emerson

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Another good reason to make your own cakes.
At least I don't want any carbs now!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D.

I think I've worked out what this "cake" is for! It's for the really shy Valentine....

"Ummm...Mary-Sue? Err...I've been trying to get up the guts to tell you I love you. Isn't it great? I grew it myself!"

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Omg, that looks really hideous.
But ROTFLMAO over the song. ;-)

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGrapefruit

Ugh. Just .... ugh.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

Ewww....icky, seriously awful.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You realize that the combination of the title of your post and the "Why give your heart to that special someone this Valentine's Day, when you can give him/her something even more special" sounds like an "innapropriate" joke, right...?

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth Marie

If I worked at a bakery and saw something like that in the display cooler....I would DEMAND that the person responsible be FIRED! That's just disgusting.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

I thought it looked like a uterus or afterbirth. The gift that keeps on giving!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Disgusting, yes, but it made me laugh. All I could think of was Mark Lowry's bit about the Old Testament seat of the emotions being the bowels, not the heart. "Oh, baby. OOOOh, baby. You MOVE me."

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlaina

HOLY CRAP!!!! (So to speak...).

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

That is so freakin disturbing it makes my colon spasm, which in turn causes me to have the runs...oooohhhhh yuck.
It's as if Hannibal Lecter sent you a Special Valentine's gift and forgot the chianti, ugh!!!!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrazykris

Wow....love the Wham reference...lol

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Yeah....I work at one of the chain stores that make these king cakes, and yes there is a awful heart shaped king cake that is just gross looking after you put on the icing and red and pink sprinkles.... should have seen the football one's that were made! YIKES!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

So, this is why I wait to read your blog after lunch!

Ewwwwwwww!

Scully

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What in hades was that supposed to be? A heart? Lips? Something I won't even say with children present?

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Today is my twenty fifth birthday, and since I didn't get a cake, I decided that whatever you'd posted today would be my unofficial birthday cake.

Oh, what a lucky girl I am. : P

WV: "proli" - That's proli the worst birthday cake I've ever had.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercryandwriteasong

"Excuse me while I go gouge out my mind's eye."

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Weaver Olsons

So, when Whitney Houston sings "where do broken hearts go", we can respond "at the bakery." d

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Not only is it ugly, it appears to be solid frosting.....
Just another reason to say "no thanks"!

Hey, I have an idea!

Any wrecktator that finds a wreck should camp out and wait to take a picture of the person that buys it.

They could even interview the person..."I'm here with George who just picked up this valentines cake, and George, tell us....what made you choose THIS one?"

Hehe...

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

That may just be the most disgusting cake thingy EVER!!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindalou

But... it has sprinkles! Or red sugar, anyway. (check it out at larger size). Who doesn't want a colon with SPRINKLES!!!

WV: martab - My... urp... martab's gettin' awful high i think i'll go wreckerate a cake now...

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

And I thought YESTERDAY was confusing.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

It looked like sludge coated croissants to me, you know, besides scary meat or a va jay jay.

Sarah

WV- Endha: You don't want to see this come out the other endha.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah22277

LOVE THE SONG! =D

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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