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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan022012

A Toast...

...to the coming year!

Now that's one wreck that's hard to swallow.

 

Thanks to Jessica W., who tells me she was gagging the entire time.


That's what SHE said. Honest.

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Reader Comments (83)

Dear God, its alive! Apparently dictyostelids like cake, too.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

I don't have to say what it looks like --- you KNOW what it looks like. If they just would have smoothed out the lumpiness, it would have looked better. Not great, maybe not edible, but better.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

BLEAH! What on earth is that oozy stuff, that is the most unappetizing "edible" decoration I have ever seen on a cake--and considering that I read this blog every single day, THAT is saying something!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Dear God!! It looks like vasoline coming out of the glasses!! YUCK!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Which is worse? the slime ooze or the cake outlined in black mourning crepe?

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

The cake itself isn't that bad, but WTF is that jelly like crap??? It looks so wrong D:

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Well, you've started out the year with a bang...

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I think I'll just go with "EEWWWWWWW,,,," on this one....

(blinblink)... Ew... Just... EEEEEWWWWWWWWW...

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Yuck...looks like giant blobs of mucus! Eeewww!! They'd have been better off with just the glasses, but then they would'n't've gotten on Cake Wrecks, LOL!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermedrecgal

URGH... Perhaps this cake illustrates why every profession has its secrets...we don't WANT to know!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Ew. Just Ew.
This is making me hate champagne more and more.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeighAnne

I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know...

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTom

To be fair, I think that second glass was originally upright (you can see the imprint in the frosting). Because an upright glass of primordial ooze is soooo much more appetizing than a spilled one.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Baker's explanation:

"Well, more buttercream would have been expensive, so we tried to go cheaper for the customer, and used what was at hand..."

Ewww.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

It reminds me of the mucus like slime kids get from the vending machine at the grocery store. The kind the you play with until it gets old and dirty and gets to a buger like consistancy.

The most disturbing part is that if it is like slime at this point, you'll never be sure you got all of it off the cake. :P

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I do like that the sludge covers the N, making the cake read "Happy Ew Year 2012."

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Aw, thanks a lot! There goes my new year's resolution to stop having such a twelve-year-old sense of humour. I know that these resolutions usually do get blown, but I didn't see it coming so soon.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

It's always good to start out the New Year with a stiff one...and by the way, and I don't know what this means, but if you enlarge the picture, and look into the glasses, I think you can see men....

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laughsalot

Once again, I point out to bakers everywhere: Remember, we're supposed to EAT this. I beg you to consider that before decorating with snot.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

yeah.. that picture does NOT go well with Mac & Cheese... just saying.. GAG!!!!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDIana

Ummmmmm, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. I can't even.....no.....there are no words.....I just threw up a little in my mouth. How could anyone look at that, and then think it would be a good idea to SELL it?

Well, it appears that at least SOMEone had a good time....but he needs to learn the crusty sock trick.

I didn't really just type that.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

(You know I'm just kidding, right? My juvenile sense of humour is one of the finest things about me and I am grateful the Cake Wrecks for all the giggles!)

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Happy new year!
Here, have a nice glass of ... snail slime? snot? Vaseline? something worse?
Anyway, happy new year!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Mmm, ectoplasm.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

That stuff inside the champagne glasses?

It... snot what you think it is.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDances With Lasagna

I have only one word... "LOL" :)

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleH

But I bet it tastes sweet though! If you have to, close your eyes when you eat it and I bet it tastes so good you won't even remember what it looked like.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I thought it was Vaseline, but it's snot!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeacefulDave

Umm... Ummmm.... Ummmmmmmmm....

That's about all I can say. My mind won't let me come up with anything else... lol

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJim

[Sleazy infomercial announcer's voice]: "You need to liven up that party, but fake puke is so 20th century. What to do? With this product, you'll be the most popular guest in the history of time! Just send for..." [quickly changing the channel]

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Jen, I love you. And that wreckerator needs to hydrate more. Blech.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJRose

I think that belongs in a sterile specimen cup instead of a champagne glass, and those little buggers really should be refrigerated.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I read recently about a scientist who is using slime molds to model human intelligence (true story). I expect he would be upset to learn that instead of a multi-zillion dollar lab with state-of-the-art equipment, all he needs is access to a bakery.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

"Somebody blows their nose, and you wanna keep it?"

"Egon, your mucus."

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

I think it piping gel which is completely safe to eat, often used instead of water to make the frosting used for fine work, thinner. Gross looking, yes, but safe!

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Checked back to see of it was still as eeewwwwwwy as before, and -yup- it is. But it did make me think of another movie quote:

"You men, run with Mucus!"

Two points if you can Name That Movie!

Piping gel. It could be worse though. They could've colored the gel. Funny thing is this is a "wreck on wreck on wreck." I'd eat the far away corner though.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Ok so is it bad I've laughed more at the comments than the cake itself...lol...o geez this is too funny.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I agree that the cake is fine, but...I was studying my anatomy and physiology for a class today, and I won't share the medical terms that this cake reminds me of. <hurk>

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

How can I "like" every comment that's been posted here??

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDana

Its piping gel, its piping gel...must convince self its only piping gel...Blegh...

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSapphiric

O to the M to the G.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnndii

I think there's a Rod Stewart joke in here....

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRane

WHAT is it? Seriously, is it corn syrup? someone must know what it is. I need to know. Please, someone offer an explanation.

That is horrific.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Ok. I'll say it. It looks like glasses full of semen.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I just thought it looked like melted jelly beans...I actually didn't get the gross feeling at all. xD

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatt

*gag* I'm a perv, mucus was NOT what I was thinking. Am I the only one who went /there/?

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Pro tip: do NOT read CakeWrecks while watching Dan Savage videos in another window.

Trust me. You do not want to know all of the things that I considered before realizing that the...substance on the cake was supposed to be champagne.

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOtherJim

Did anyone else notice the orange stain the wineglass (unsuccessfully) attempts to cover up?

January 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMadi

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