It's Like Beer Goggles For People With Dirty Minds

We all start out so innocent.

Every kid loves balloons, right?

Until one day, you start to look closer.

"Hey! Waaaait a second..."

!!

Next thing you know, you see them circling everywhere.

Dancing, mocking you.

Gathering their forces.

Closing in. 

You: "Someone else is seeing this, right? It's not just me? TELL ME IT'S NOT JUST ME."

Everyone else: ::silence::

Everyone else: ::silence::

Everyone else: "Haaaaappy birthday toooo you!"

Don't worry, though, minions; eventually you learn to make peace with your new super power. And one day, you may even start to have fun with it.

Like this:

Ready...

Aim...

FI-YUR!!

Admit it, our way is way funnier.

Enjoy your boring old "balloons" and "candles" everyone else; we'll just be over here nudging each other and snickering.

Thanks to Laura P., Danielle N., Amanda M., Deborah V., Sam H. & Cindy A. for not letting one climactic birthday go to her head.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Bohemian Wrecksody

Is she a real wife,

...without the letter E?

Post-marital strife?

Buy a cake from the bakery!

Open your eyes,

Watch the monster cry,

"Cookieeee!"

He's just an old man!

He needs baked sympathy.

Because he's easy come,

Easy go,

Little high,

Little low!

Any kind of cake goes, as long as the batter's...

...nail-free!

Na-il freeeeee.

Thanks to Kari Jo M., Kyla W., Jennifer L., Beth H., Randi H., Stacie B., Amanda H., Andrew H., Bronwyn G., & Sarah M. for helping me be a little mercurial. (See what I did there?)

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: